While you wait for content

Have some fun posts…

First some dogs:

A cool toilet prank

SKUNK!

Getaway foiled:

Finally, when you’re going to rob a bar, make sure it’s not a biker bar!

I’ll get off my lazy rear soon here and get going again. Just suffering a little burnout. Happy New Year!


Tinfoil-hatted libtards: “Hackers are Republicans!!!”

Oh. My. God.

Do these people ever step outside that echo chamber for even a minute to breathe? I mean, do they not realize that not everyone on earth gives a damn about Republican vs. Democrat politics?  It is to laugh.  Noobs.

Can’t remember where I was tipped off to that gem, but it had something to do with inane accusations of Weblog Awards “cheating.”  Cheating, as in SoapBlox being hacked to deny access to one of the blogs that’s a finalist or something.  Idiots!

\/\/3 r3p\/b1!c4nz h4z teh 1337 h4xx0rz 5k!11z!!!

/rolls eyes


Best Pet Blog! (and the other stuff)

GO VOTE NOW -  for FUCK YOU, PENGUIN.  Do it or the penguin gets it!!!

Also, please, all four of you reading this (including you, Mom), vote for these in the 2008 Weblog Awards - they have links to all the blogs at the voting pages:

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Very very very urgent post!!!!!

We interrupt your regularly scheduled apathy for a very important announcement

If you don’t read and love Fuck You, Penguin, you are a humorless failure.

That is all. :D

stein hoist (They had better kick ICHC and Cute Overload’s cute, fluffy asses. This is my latest mission in life.)

- Back to your regularly scheduled apathy/blog hostess invisibility -


Post Christmas Humor

Some humorous vids for today. Christmas has come and gone, but here’s some interesting videos for the season!


Christmas

manger-xset5jc

A cold wind blasted up the nearly empty streets of the city. Its icy breath crushing anyone in its path. This cold spell had claimed many lives and Travis waited to be its next victim. He lay in the alley just off the street corner waiting for death. Longing for it. Death for Travis would be a release. A freedom from the chains of his life. It had not always been this way for him. Years ago he had family. Years ago he had friends. “So many years” he thought. Then he was someone. Now he was a street bum. A drugged out drunken loser. A car turned onto the lonely street. The headlights rolled painfully across his eyes. His eyes closed to shut out the light.

winter 2

“Travis! Wake up!” He opened his eyes. His sister Tracy grinned back at him. The sun poured its light into the room revealing more stuff than floor.
“Come on! Santa was here! It’s time to open presents!” She bolted out of the room knocking several things around as she left.
He sat up to investigate the damage.
“Trace! You kicked my stuff. Watch what you’re doing.”
“If you’d clean that room, I wouldn’t kick things!” came the reply from down the hall.
“I made a path. You could have used it.”
Travis stepped out of bed. He navigated his path to and through his door stumbling as his body tried to wake up. He kicked more things than Tracy did. After he got through the door he sped to the living room. The Christmas tree was lit up. Mom’s favorite ornament sang out “Away in a Manger”. The tree wasn’t the biggest or best in his neighborhood. It was an artificial tree because mom hated the waste of a real tree. It had basic lights and all, but it had that one thing that made it better than everyone else’s tree: it had Travis’s presents sitting under it.

Christmas was always the same at his house. First it was off to church for a morning service. Then it was home to the presents and then some incredible Christmas cooking. After a meal, it was off to see his friends and to compare their hauls. Maybe this year it could be a bit different. He walked into the kitchen where breakfast was nearly on the table.

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Always look on the bright side of life

I’m still trying to figure this one out. A drunk woman and her husband are at the Minnesota-Iowa football game. She has to pee. I’m guessing the conversation started this way: “Hey honey, I’m going to the bathroom”. “Ok, see you in a few”. She staggers to the top of the stairs and stumbles into the men’s room. Now most women would say “Wow, I’m so drunk, sorry guys.” I don’t know how many would say, “Well hell, I’m here. Y’all look good. Why don’t you come over here and do me hard in the hadicap stall.” Or let’s say she was sweet talked by a guy. How many would stay in the men’s room long enough to be sweet talked into intercourse in the stall?

The title of the article is “Dome incident ruined my life” Here’s how it starts:

The Iowa woman caught having sex in a Metrodome restroom before a cheering crowd of onlookers Saturday during the Iowa-Minnesota football game said she was so drunk on wine that she doesn’t remember anything about the incident, the Des Moines Register reported Wednesday.

Ok, let’s take this from the top. If you’re that aspiring stud that line just killed all of your bragging rights. She can’t even remember your name? Or what happened the next morning? Well until she reads about it when her hubby hands her the morning paper. I hope that none of her 3 kids are teenagers. I can just hear those fights. “Mom, I’m going out tonight with John.” “I don’t know him. You’re not going anywhere until I meet him” “You didn’t know that one guy and I’m not going to do him in the bathroom” Fight over. She may not remember it at times, but I promise her kids will. And they will remind her of it for the next several years.

“It’s ruined my life,” Lois Feldman, 38, of Carroll, Iowa, told the Register.

Don’t think like that! Think of it this way: it just made you the most popular person on the singles scene when your soon to be ex husband and his lawyer get finished with you. Think positive. The guys will “line up” for you! They did once already!

Feldman, a married mother of three, told the newspaper that she was fired Wednesday from an assisted living center, where she had been an administrator.

Apparently her boss wasn’t around during the 90’s. It’s just about sex ya know. She has a private life. Seriously though I don’t think this is a firing offense. Unfortunately her boss thought otherwise.

“I don’t know what happened,” Feldman told the Register. “But I don’t deny that it did happen, because, obviously, there are police reports.”

As well as several phone camera pictures and videos too I’m sure.

University police cited Feldman and Ross M. Walsh, 26, of Linden, Iowa, for indecent conduct.

Feldman said she had never met Walsh.

“I don’t know who this man is,” she told the Register. “I just found out his name in the paper.”

That giant flushing sound is Ross’ ego going down the toilet. “She didn’t even remember my name? Ugh.”

From another paper account:

A security guard discovered the two having sex in a handicapped stall in a men’s room, police said. Police were summoned, and they interrupted the two.

She said she remembers sitting in the stands one moment and the next “being slammed around by a cop and screaming.”

“Apparently I was panicked and very uncooperative,” she said.

Of course you were. You were almost “there” and they interrupted you. I’d be ticked too.

Walsh was released to his girlfriend and Feldman to her husband, police said.

Awkward! So how do you think those drives home went?

Seriously though. How does this happen? How does the day go from “Honey, I have to go to the bathroom” to “Paging Mr. Feldman. Please report to security behind section 101″ He runs to security thinking he had just won a prize or something while totally ignoring the other announcement: “Ross’ girlfriend please report to security behind section 101″. He gets there “What did I win?” “We arrested your wife for having sex in the bathroom with that dude over there.” “Huh? You whu?” I wonder if there was a Springer moment when the girlfriend showed up.

For Ross, the future isn’t nearly as bright as for Lois. Even if Lois’ husband divorces her, she can get a gig in Playboy or something. Here’s her picture.
Lois the Lover
The worst part of it for Lois is that her kids will have a loaded gun for future arguments.

As for Ross, he’s active military. The military doesn’t look too fondly on their people breaking the law I’m sure. His trip home was real fun I’ll bet. His girlfriend once wrote this real loving tribute to him in the paper a few years back:

Dear KCCI,

Hello, my name is Julie from Fort Dodge. I would like to salute my wonderful boyfriend, Ross M. Walsh, from Linden.

Ross is 21 years old and a 2000 graduate of Dallas Center Gimes High School.

He is proudly part of the 186th Military Police Company out of Camp Dodge. He is currently in Fort McCoy, Wisconsin, awaiting orders to go overseas.

I want to wish him luck and let him know that his family, many friends, and I love him very much and will see him soon!

Wanna bet she’ll be sending in a retraction? The article never talks about him and his long drive.

Here’s Chris’ take on it. If she had not been stopped, she would have finished, maybe do a couple more and then she would have gone right back to hubby with him none the wiser. I’m betting this wasn’t her first “stagger by humping”. On the bright side, she made that 55-0 football game interesting and received her 15 minutes of fame too! Still, what is it about Minnesota bathrooms? At least she didn’t claim to have a wide stance.


Marginalized Action Dinosaur pinged back with Next time your wife has to go to the washroom,…
Alcohol May Have Been a Factor [Dan Collins] pinged back with Alcohol May Have Been a Factor [Dan Collins]


miscellaneous tuesday thoughts

It seems like a slooooow news month (with the exception of the goings-on in Illinois, the next gripping installment of Federal Bailout Bingo™, Obama’s cabinet picks, some pretty widespread Global Warmcooling®, and the continuing saga of Chris Dodd’s dodgy mortgages - OK, I made that last one up. Chris Dodd had NO IDEA he was getting a 500 year loan at -16.75% because he was a US Senator!).

Can anybody please tell me why John McCain has reverted to firing on his own troops, and why Newt Gingrich has joined him?

Here’s the news, retards. If Blagojevich was spelled ‘Pawlenty’ or ‘Palin’, do you think that Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi would be urging their drones to shut up and wait and see what happens?

Do you really, John? Because if you really do, (and I don’t for one second think you do), then you’re a bigger fucking idiot than you appeared during the last week of the election campaign.

A new GOP message from Gingrich (who will now lose the Chairmanship to Michael Steele) ought to be: Mayday, Mayday. Blood in water. Send sharks.

Newt: Nobody rejected ‘attack politics’ in 2006 and 2008. They rejected spendaholic insider congressional courtiers masquerading as Republicans.

Subtle difference.


Christmas Humor

So what was the worst gift you ever gave your spouse, parent, etc?

Please do tell.


Christmas Buying Guide « Innocent Bystanders pinged back with Christmas Buying Guide « Innocent Bystanders
Christmas Humor | MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy pinged back with Christmas Humor | MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy


Saturday night humor

Sorry for the light posting, been busy as heck last couple weeks. Here’s something for a Saturday night smile.


Oops [Dan Collins] pinged back with Oops [Dan Collins]


firedoglake loon stumbles on the truth®

What do you bet they took him into custody today because of his threat to BoA? The timing of this really really stinks. I know he’s been under investigation for a long time, maybe this is just the normal course of events, but it sure looks like the powers that be don’t like to see the profits of enormous financial institutions threatened.

Good God. I guess everything is politics, and politics is everything to these retards.


Here we go again!

The federal reserve just allocated another 600 billion to buy more mortgages from fanny and freddie. We used to bundle these bad mortgages up and sell them to foreign investors on the derivatives market but not anymore. Once bitten, twice shy. Now no one will buy them. They won’t touch them. So, take a wild guess at who gets to buy those derivatives now? That’s right we do. That’s bad, but what is worse is we are STILL MAKING THESE MORTGAGES! The exact thing that caused this problem is still going on. We are still giving mortgages to people who don’t pay their bills. Nowhere in any legislation has there been anything that stops it since this crisis started. The Community Reinvestment Act, which was the catalyst of all of this, is still the law and official policy.

Basically this is welfare with mortgages. A way to redistribute income. There is a reason people have bad credit and that is they suck at balancing their finances. Some are in a bad position or have bad things hit out of the blue but the vast majority are irresponsible and just don’t pay their bills. They have this sense of entitlement. They know that they can’t afford the credit card but still get it and max it out. This is what caused the credit market and banking meltdown problem. That is why it is the SUBPRIME meltdown and not the rich people skipping their bills meltdown. It’s not the middle classed responsible people who are walking out on their payments either. It’s the subprime meltdown. We made mortgages to people who, whether rich or poor, won’t pay them back. In the beginning, banks were forced into this by the feds and community groups or face court proceedings. Obama himself made a pretty penny suing banks for not lending to people who won’t pay their bills. Later it became a money making pyramid for them. Now it is blowing up in our face.

I want to be clear here. It didn’t cause our recession. We were heading that way already. Gas prices and energy policies started the problems but this is making it deeper. It is causing future damage that will be nearly impossible to recover from.

Right now, our national debt is 10 trillion. The cost of this program is already over a trillion dollars and now we’re tossing auto bailouts, newspaper bailouts, state bailouts and more onto it. How the heck are we going to pay for that? We’re not. Taxes will have to go up dramatically and even then, they won’t even cover the interest increases.

Our current budget is 2.7 trillion per year. In 2009 it is projected at 3.1 trillion and this does not include the 700 billion. This is just the forecasts from W’s proposed 2009 budget. Add another 500 billion and another 50 billion of interest. That makes it 3.65 trillion. Add the upcoming healthcare socialization and our upcoming nationalized preschool and the upcoming free college proposals of Obama and you can add around another trillion. Totaling over 4.5 trillion dollars.

Remember that top 5% of earners Obama wants to tax more for his programs? They made a total of 3.1 trillion dollars last year. You would have to have a 100% tax rate for them just to cover W’s budget. The federal government would have to take 100% of every AGI dollar from everyone who makes over 108000 and 100% of every AGI dollar from most people between 65k and 108k to cover the additional stuff. Now this is based on the latest tax figures that I found. The 2006 breakdown.

So what do we do? Interest on the debt has accounted for more federal dollars than both wars in the middle east since 2001. Social Security (608 bln), Medicare (386 bln), medicaid and SCHIP (209 bln) and other mandatory entitlements cost (welfare, unemployment, etc 324 bln) and interest on the debt (261 bln) are the top social spending items. Defense is another 481 billion. War on terror spending is 145 billion. Where do we cut? How high do we raise taxes? None of this was ever discussed in the election. Nor was it discussed while these bailouts were being created.

We need real change. A social revolution. We need to stop rewarding irresponsibility and start making people be accountable for their lives and decisions. Getting welfare or food stamps and have another baby? Lose everything. Living to 85 now? Retirement starts at 70. If you can run for president at 70, you can work somewhere. No social security/medicare before age 70. Harsh, yeah. But we have to start somewhere. It is time to stop burying our heads in the sand and time to start attacking this problem head on. So what say you? Where do you start? You’re president for a day. How do you fix the problem?


a small restoration of faith

In the dark dreary world, every so often something happens that reminds you that amongst the self centered selfish masses, there is some good in the world.

thug assed loser

Meet Fred Louis Ervin. Now it stands to reason that Fred has had a hard time in life. When you spend your days trying to avoid work and listening to rap cd’s, you’re not going to very successful. So what to do? I know. Carjacking! That’s a good career. And robbing gas stations! That will bring in some money!

So good old Fred heads on down the street looking for some free cash. He walks into the BP on ten-ten road and holds the place up. Now Fred isn’t too bright. He did all this without having a getaway car. What to do? Hey, let’s carjack a 53 year old woman. He heads across the road where he runs into Irene Moorman. He beats her up trying to get her keys from her. She’s pretty feisty so he wrestles her to the ground. While on top of her, other shoppers decide “No more” and circle him and try to get him to stop. A woman tries to hold him to stop him from getting away and a man cold cocks him repeatedly with a frozen turkey. None of the witnesses can recall exactly how many times the guy nailed him, but it was bad enough that when he finally stole the car, he couldn’t drive very straight. He nailed 5 cars on the way out of the parking lot.

The police arrested him and booked him so he won’t have to worry about how to get cash for a while. Unknown people stepped up and helped a stranger being attacked by a thug. They didn’t care whether or not he had a gun. They saw wrong and stepped in. None of them were named in the article so for those anonymous strangers, here’s to you. You make the world a better place and Irene may have been killed had you not stepped in. Thank you.


Why the IRS sucks « The Third Degree pinged back with Why the IRS sucks « The Third Degree
Right Wing Nation pinged back with Tis The Season!


Oh how the years go by

Yet another December 5th. Yet another year on the planet. You are supposed to get wiser as you get older. So let’s see what pearls of wisdom Chris has now that he’s 44 and not 43.x. (crickets chirping) Hmm, not a whole lot there. So I guess I’m old as dirt now. So how do you know you’re old as dirt?

These are a few of the indicators that told me I was seriously old:

I’m in my van (oldness indicator number 1: I drive a van), paging through the stations, looking for anything that sounds like music (oldness indicator number 2: everything sounds like garbage and nothing good is on the radio anymore). Then, on the 80s station (oldness indicator number 3: you listen to the “older music” stations), I hear a song that came out when I was in my teens . I absolutely hated it then and NOW I think to myself, finally, a real song and I left it on. Not even 2 decades ago, this song made me wretch and want to puke. Now, it’s not so bad, because, well, I’m too old to have appreciation for today’s garbage.

Seriously, when the elevator music reminds you of your high school or college days, well, you’re old as dirt.

When you go to the midnight showing of the Star Wars opening and it takes you 3 days to recover from the lost sleep, you are old as dirt.

When you wear relaxed fit jeans because you refuse to admit you’re a 36 waist (no, I’m a 35, relaxed fit), you are old.

I keep laughing at the fact that I now understand the appropriate irony of wearing Faded Glory jeans. I guess Old Fart Reliving the Past Because His Life Is Essentially Over and That’s Why He Is Wearing These “Relaxed Fit” Old Fart Jeans was too long to fit on the label.

I realize how stupid “everyone else (has one, is going, is doing it)” really is.

I miss the aches and pains of my youth. At least those went away with aspirin.

I no longer drink Pepsi. No, it’s not because I don’t think I’m hip enough. It’s not because Coke is for the older wiser set. No, the Coke machine is 10 feet closer to the break room door and I’m too lazy old to walk the extra 10 feet.

All my shock bands (Nugent, Cooper, KISS) are now religious and mostly conservative. Watching Nugent say “God bless you” to Gene Simmons before he took the stage on the televised farewell tour and then Simmons hugging Nugent and saying “God bless you too” back really drove that one home. Back in the 80’s they would have had an on stage rocking death match. Now their God blessing each other? Dang I’m old.

I understand where my dad was coming when he said “Because I said so”. It makes so much more sense now.

Instead of checking out the high school and college women in their “come and get me buffet” outfits, I wince and start thinking of how I can stop my daughter from looking like that.

When following behind these same girls, I am more interested in the fact that although she’s cute, MOM sure has kept it together. Dang, 3 kids and a butt like that! Wow.

When you look forward to an empty house because of all the extra sleep you’re going to get while everyone is away that means you’re old.

I used to go to Tiger Stadium and sit in the bleachers. Now, if I go to a game and it’s not the Club Level, I feel let down.

I now think McDonalds sucks. Yeah, that one hurt when I realized that. Talk about old. Yeesh.

I guess that’s it for the oldness indicators. Put yours in the comments if you think I’ve missed any or are wrong. In keeping with my post here is Twisted Sister singing “Oh Come All Ye Faithful”. Yeah, that’s a bit of a distance from “We’re not going to take it”

And check out Lita Ford in this video. It’s another Christmas video from Twisted Sister. Wasn’t she one of the metal bad girls? Yeah, but now she is married with 2 kids (oh and has a butt like that, wow).

So I’m off to bed. We old farts like our sleep you know!


Marginalized Action Dinosaur pinged back with You know you are old when, “All my shock bands (Nugent, Cooper, KISS) are now religious and mostly conservative.”


bailout plan v. 45.08

I think it’s time Big Oil jumped in a fleet of battery powered oil tankers, and sailed into Washington looking for a bailout.

After all, the price swings they have seen in the past 6 months make the auto industry look like a walk in the park.

Takers?


bailout plan v. 45.08 | MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy pinged back with bailout plan v. 45.08 | MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy


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