Stupid | MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy

Archive for the 'Stupid' Category

(Chronologically Listed)

Ring of Fire - By Barack’s victims

A little silliness for a Saturday. Have a good weekend. I give you, Ring of Fire, sung to the Johnny Cash version, performed by US, Barack’s future victims.

Aaaaannnnnnddddd begin!

He pro-mised, everything
and he made, the voters sing
now their wild, selfish desire
reamed my rear, to a ring of fire…

My butt hole is a burning ring of fire
my pay went down,down
when my taxes went higher.
And he reamed,reamed,reamed
the ring of fire
the ring of fire.

My butt hole is a burning ring of fire
I feel like I was
fisted with a tire
And it burns,burns,burns
the ring of fire
the ring of fire.

He said no one, would have to pay
til they made, two fifty K
But when the bill, became past due
He came and reamed, you know who

YOUR butt hole will be a ring of fire
your pay will go down
and your taxes go higher.
And he’ll ream,ream,ream
your ring of fire
your ring of fire.

Our butt holes will be a ring of fire
We’ll feel like we were
fisted with a tire
And it burns,burns,burns
the ring of fire
the ring of fire.

And it burns,burns,burns
the ring of fire
the ring of fire.

Laura Ingraham’s rant on the O’Reilly Factor about Meghan McCain

Pardon my furious swearing here, but I’ve had enough of this crap.

So, Laura Ingraham was on the O’Reilly Factor last night.

Laura Ingraham can kiss my skinny ass. I would normally change the channel because I can’t stand her, but I wanted to see what the cupid stunt had to say for herself. I was screaming at the teevee last night when she was ranting about how she was “channeling” Meghan McCain talking about her weight. BULLSHIT. She’s a flat-out liar. I can’t believe she’s trying to bullshit her way out of that one, and I can’t believe anyone thinks it’s defensible. She says it’s because Meghan isn’t qualified to talk about the future of the GOP? What the HELL does that have to do with the girl’s weight? And why is Meghan less “qualified” to talk about the public faces of the GOP than any of us? What, because she doesn’t have a radio show or nationally syndicated opinion column? Because she’s 24 years old? What about the kid at CPAC (Jonathan Krohn), then? Shouldn’t he shut up too, then? He can’t even vote! But no, she likes what he says (as do I), so he’s okay, right? Nevermind the fact he isn’t even a registered Republican and Meghan McCain is! (Oh yeah, she’s a newly-registered Republican, so she doesn’t count. I’m sure ex-Democrat Ronald Reagan would have agreed. Not.)

If it was about Meghan talking about Coulter and her abrasive, off-putting style, then criticize what she said. Mocking her with that “plus-sized” (which she isn’t anyway) shit and the Barbie crap was pure ad hominem, and totally proved Meghan’s point!

I hope she puts on a bunch of weight. Maybe when the miserable Left starts mocking her appearance rather than her arguments, she’ll fucking get it. I’ll bet “Man” Coulter (as the Left likes to say, rather than discussing her arguments) understands it, although she’s not likely honest enough to admit it. (To her credit, she hasn’t piled on.) I’ll bet Rush Limbaugh knows that fat jokes don’t do anything to challenge what he says. I’ll bet Sarah Palin knows that cruel, mean-spirited personal attacks don’t diminish her arguments or opinions.

As far as I’m concerned, anyone defending Laura Ingraham’s vapid bullshit is being intellectually dishonest at best. I was shocked when Tammy Bruce defended that shit, but I guess radio people have to stick together, right or wrong. (rolls eyes) She was particularly surprising because she’s definitely not a “true conservative” and as far as I know, not even registered Republican, so why the hell should she have anything to say about the GOP either, by Ingraham’s flimsy standards? Maybe she was afraid Ingraham would make some totally irrelevant, juvenile insult about her as well. She would, you know. (For the record, I welcome her voice in the discussion of the future of the GOP - but she’s wrong in this one.)

It’s like I always say: politics is about ADDITION, not subtraction. Meghan McCain may be only 24 and not a lifelong Republican, but even she understands that. She’s right - these nasty, ad hominem-slinging loudmouths drive away far more potential converts than they have ever brought in. All they do is preach to the choir, entertain their followers. In the process, they’re destroying the chances of progress in everything they stand for. I don’t see how they do any good when they couldn’t even manage to get their pick for Presidential nominee on the ticket! Whom exactly did they convince? Not enough to get what conservatives want! As a lifelong conservative, I resent Ingraham and Coulter and all those like them, and the damage they do. I’m no part of the left-wing attack machine that Ingraham says is complaining about her nastiness; her so-called “satire” disgusts me. I’m done with her. If she makes me tune her out, imagine how many moderates will refuse to listen to what she has to say as a conservative. Imagine how many already did long ago. (Ditto that with Coulter, et al.) Is it any wonder they can’t get moderates and independents (much less liberals) to see that conservatism is the right solution to America’s problems?

Laura Ingraham needs to shut up and…just shut up.

/rant

Now that that’s out of my system, I think I’ll go read Barack Obama’s Teleprompter blog.

UPDATE: Now here’s an Ann Coulter column that you definitely need to read (yes, even you lefties). Nothing about Meghan McCain in it at all.

UPDATE again: AMEN!!! Jenn Q. Public nails it!

AI Wedesday Hollywood Part 2

Yet another Hollywood week. Today is the GROUP SING! Woo Hoo! Lots of funny drama from all the little emos and drama queens. Come on by. I am opening the chat early as I may be delayed in getting it started if I don’t. So if you have any pre-AI comments, have at it!

<a href="http://www.coveritlive.com/mobile.php?option=com_mobile&task=viewaltcast&altcast_code=d87001aa68" >AI Hollywood Wednesday</a>

AI Hollywood Week Tuesday

Now the made up drama begins. It’s time to cut the fat and eliminate those that were questionable.

<a href="http://www.coveritlive.com/mobile.php?option=com_mobile&task=viewaltcast&altcast_code=666166291b" >AI Hollywood Tuesday</a>

The liveblog is already going, I’ll be in as soon as I get the little ones in bed.

Are you smarter than a 4th grader?

So my son brings home an extra credit math paper and we can’t solve it. So, I turn it over to you to see if you can help. The turn in time has expired so you’re not helping us cheat. I don’t see a solution and I think the teacher left something out, but here it is as it was written on his sheet.

The 4th grade class has ______ _______ students and they are going on a trip to Disney. An odd number of _____ kids will ride in each of _____ cars. Including drivers, a total of 4 _____ people are on the trip. At Disney, _____ _____ which is one more than half ride Space Mountain. 1 _____ kids waited with 3 adults making _____ _____ who watched in total.

In the above paragraph, you will find 10 spaces. In those 10 spaces, you need to place the numbers 0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and you can only use a number once.

Good luck.

The election was stolen

That evil war criminal George W. Bushhitlermonkeysatan has done it again. He has stolen another election. He refuses to give up his power. We will have to make him step aside or there will be riots. People wanted change. They voted and asked for Chimpy McBushhitler 3 aka McCain to be defeated. What they didn’t expect was that Bush would refuse to go away. Again, we see the failed policies of the past being forced upon us yet again by Bush. Observe:

1. A “stimulate the economy check” from the government. Bush has tried that twice now. Barack Obama would never propose that. After all, back in March he was railing against the Bush breaks for the rich and the government givebacks that didn’t go to the poor. He has demanded that there be fiscal discipline in DC. While I love getting my money back, it didn’t help the economy the last times it was tried and Obama certainly wouldn’t try it again. He’s different. He’s change we can believe.

2. Tax cuts. Huh? His tax cuts haven’t even expired and he’s already proposing new ones? Another failed policy that Obama would never have applied. He has said he would have voted against W’s tax cuts over and over and he railed against them. He would never support that. He would propose a bold new strategy. After all, he is different. He’s change we can believe.

3. Infrastructure spending. Come on. Hasn’t there been enough spending? Obama opposed most of W’s war funding and rebuilding in Iraq. Those infrastructure projects that American companies performed didn’t stimulate the economy. Domestic ones won’t either. What is Bush thinking? Certainly Obama wouldn’t propose more government spending just like W is. He’s different. He’s change we can believe.

As a law abiding American, I cannot sit by and watch W. Bush refuse to leave office and steal this election. Obama won and he deserves the chance to implement his policies that would never look like a third Bush term. We may not have voted for him, but Obama did win. So we need to…

What? Those *ARE* Obama’s proposals? Not Bush’s.

Oh. Never mind.

Tinfoil-hatted libtards: “Hackers are Republicans!!!”

Oh. My. God.

Do these people ever step outside that echo chamber for even a minute to breathe? I mean, do they not realize that not everyone on earth gives a damn about Republican vs. Democrat politics? It is to laugh. Noobs.

Can’t remember where I was tipped off to that gem, but it had something to do with inane accusations of Weblog Awards “cheating.” Cheating, as in SoapBlox being hacked to deny access to one of the blogs that’s a finalist or something. Idiots!

\/\/3 r3p\/b1!c4nz h4z teh 1337 h4xx0rz 5k!11z!!!

/rolls eyes

Oh how the years go by

Yet another December 5th. Yet another year on the planet. You are supposed to get wiser as you get older. So let’s see what pearls of wisdom Chris has now that he’s 44 and not 43.x. (crickets chirping) Hmm, not a whole lot there. So I guess I’m old as dirt now. So how do you know you’re old as dirt?

These are a few of the indicators that told me I was seriously old:

I’m in my van (oldness indicator number 1: I drive a van), paging through the stations, looking for anything that sounds like music (oldness indicator number 2: everything sounds like garbage and nothing good is on the radio anymore). Then, on the 80s station (oldness indicator number 3: you listen to the “older music” stations), I hear a song that came out when I was in my teens . I absolutely hated it then and NOW I think to myself, finally, a real song and I left it on. Not even 2 decades ago, this song made me wretch and want to puke. Now, it’s not so bad, because, well, I’m too old to have appreciation for today’s garbage.

Seriously, when the elevator music reminds you of your high school or college days, well, you’re old as dirt.

When you go to the midnight showing of the Star Wars opening and it takes you 3 days to recover from the lost sleep, you are old as dirt.

When you wear relaxed fit jeans because you refuse to admit you’re a 36 waist (no, I’m a 35, relaxed fit), you are old.

I keep laughing at the fact that I now understand the appropriate irony of wearing Faded Glory jeans. I guess Old Fart Reliving the Past Because His Life Is Essentially Over and That’s Why He Is Wearing These “Relaxed Fit” Old Fart Jeans was too long to fit on the label.

I realize how stupid “everyone else (has one, is going, is doing it)” really is.

I miss the aches and pains of my youth. At least those went away with aspirin.

I no longer drink Pepsi. No, it’s not because I don’t think I’m hip enough. It’s not because Coke is for the older wiser set. No, the Coke machine is 10 feet closer to the break room door and I’m too ~~lazy~~ old to walk the extra 10 feet.

All my shock bands (Nugent, Cooper, KISS) are now religious and mostly conservative. Watching Nugent say “God bless you” to Gene Simmons before he took the stage on the televised farewell tour and then Simmons hugging Nugent and saying “God bless you too” back really drove that one home. Back in the 80’s they would have had an on stage rocking death match. Now their God blessing each other? Dang I’m old.

I understand where my dad was coming when he said “Because I said so”. It makes so much more sense now.

Instead of checking out the high school and college women in their “come and get me buffet” outfits, I wince and start thinking of how I can stop my daughter from looking like that.

When following behind these same girls, I am more interested in the fact that although she’s cute, MOM sure has kept it together. Dang, 3 kids and a butt like that! Wow.

When you look forward to an empty house because of all the extra sleep you’re going to get while everyone is away that means you’re old.

I used to go to Tiger Stadium and sit in the bleachers. Now, if I go to a game and it’s not the Club Level, I feel let down.

I now think McDonalds sucks. Yeah, that one hurt when I realized that. Talk about old. Yeesh.

I guess that’s it for the oldness indicators. Put yours in the comments if you think I’ve missed any or are wrong. In keeping with my post here is Twisted Sister singing “Oh Come All Ye Faithful”. Yeah, that’s a bit of a distance from “We’re not going to take it”

And check out Lita Ford in this video. It’s another Christmas video from Twisted Sister. Wasn’t she one of the metal bad girls? Yeah, but now she is married with 2 kids (oh and has a butt like that, wow).

So I’m off to bed. We old farts like our sleep you know!

Canine Party Convention

Dan Rather here. In keeping with my trying to become relevant again, I have agreed to cover the Canine Party convention. Apparently Obarkillary went to a bunch of ACORN hippies and told them that if they didn’t get the Canine party some TV time for it’s convention, that the dogs would sniff out all their drugs and rat them out to the police. Already having FBI problems, they were able to secure a time slot. It appears that vp nominee Edwardsina will be speaking first.

(sad voice) Swishy tail…. You’re all I have left that’s beautiful. Swishy tail…. Swishy tail…..

Come on Edwardsina. I know she had you shaved, but you have to give your speech. Besides, it’s not so bad being shaved. You’ll get used to it.

Oh, I’m going to give that speech alright. I will give it and I’m going to mess her up. She’s messed with the wrong dog.

No, don’t do anything dumb. You’ll blow the election.

Um, yeah, if you haven’t noticed, we’re dogs. We had 6 votes in 2004. Like I can deny us any votes. Besides, America loves a good train wreck.

Yeah, I know, but y’all are paying me, so I have to advise you to be good and give a good speech or you’ll blow the election.

Here comes Edwardsina to the podium. Let’s see what she says.

HA! Nice Hair! Dang girl, you shaved her good!

I’m a dog of action. She knows who’s boss! You wouldn’t believe the money we’ve saved on haircuts. It allowed me to hire Carville.

My fellow Americans. I am proud to accept your nomination as VP of the Canine party. I started in this party many years ago and haven’t gone away. And there is a reason for that. You see, just when it seems I am done, I rise again and attack.

WTF? This isn’t her prepared speech. What is she doing?

And this time, I am going to strike back at she who humiliated me! Shave me will you. I demand to be made the presidential candidate. I have proof that Obarkillary is a law breaking pervert.

Huh?

You think we have a chance? HA! Not with this perv we don’t. Our presidential nominee is a member of NAPDLA! The North American Puppy Dog Love Association.

Oh no. No freaking way. She isn’t…

Here! Look at this picture. Look at what a sickening pervert she is!

Holy crud. I’ve been framed! I didn’t even know who that was. I woke up and bam. I’m like “who the heck are you?”. I feel ill. No comment.

I demand that you bounce her and nominate me as presidential candidate for the party!

Well, that came out of nowhere. I think the odds of Obarkillary keeping the nomination are slim and none and slim has just left the building. Kind of like my odds of ever being taken seriously again.

You do realize that when they find that I’m a full grown midget hired by you they’re going to kill you.

Hey, she could have told you no. You want to be my VP pick?

Ropes, trees, gang of 20

In the category of seeing red, I present the “Gang of 10 20+” solution to our oil problems. Coming to a politician near you, the “American Energy Act” will totally defang the republicans this fall on their best issue. Here are some of the details of this act.

1. It opens up the areas along the southeastern seaboard for drilling, provided the states pass it.
2. It opens up more of the gulf coast, greater than 50 miles from shore.
3. It adds billions of dollars of extra taxes on the oil companies.
4. It completely bans, permanently, all drilling in the remaining forbidden areas.
5. It takes the taxes and doles them out to “green alternatives”

Some of these sound reasonable. But they’re not. Everyone of them has a show stopper and every one of them bows to the whacked out environmentals. Let’s tackle these one at a time.

1. It opens up the southeastern seaboard. Sounds reasonable, right? Here’s the poison pill. The states would get *NOTHING* in return for allowing it. No share of any moneys. Tell me a state that will allow drilling off their coast, taking the minimal risk for no reward. Here’s the debate in the state houses. Politician 1: “I propose opening the shelf for drilling for the country.” Opponent: ” Mr. Brown, we would get no money from that. Why are you willing to drill and risk our pristine beaches for nothing? How much are the oil companies paying you?” End of debate. Good bye drilling. So, yeah, it will open the coast up, but with no incentive, there will be no drilling.

2. It opens up more of the gulf coast. The problem is it doesn’t open the coast until you get out to greater than 50 miles from shore. We know where most of the oil within 50 miles of shore is. There would be no hit and miss if allowed to drill within the 50 mile area. As far as oil rigs go, you can’t see them beyond 20 miles or so because of the curve of the earth. So the oil deposits that we really want to tap are STILL OFF LIMITS. It will cost way too much to explore out 50 miles and without a state incentive, do you think a state will even entertain it?

3. It adds billions in new taxes to the oil companies. Ok, tell me something. In the history of this world, can you name for me one private sector item that has become more plentiful after taxes were levied on it? Taxes reduce output, not increase it.

4. It completely bans all drilling, permanently in all the rest of the forbidden areas. Basically it permanently locks away over 75% of our known oil reserves. A ban that will never expire unless the congress can be coerced into backing off. Does this congress look like it will back off? Do the Pelosi-ites look like they would be for drilling?

5. These new taxes would be doled out to companies to “explore new energy” solutions. Basically, dump more good money after bad ideas. Bush has tossed over 9 billion to the alternative energy sector in the past 6 years. What do we have to show for it? Well, with Bush’s giveaway and this new giveaway, we have a new form of corporate and special interest welfare.

This is a disaster. If it doesn’t pass the media and democrats will light up with “Republicans kill increased drilling”. If it does pass, the republicans lose an issue to beat Obama up. Even worse is if it gets stuck in committee. Here’s that scenario. Mr. Representative wanna-be, where do you stand on drilling? “I support the ‘American Energy Act’ sitting in congress. I’ll make sure it’s passed”. Bam. Good bye issue. Of course, when he wins and the dems keep control, it will never come up and we’ll be stuck with high oil and gas prices as Nancy Pelosi tries to save the Earth.

The other problem is that even if it passes, it won’t increase supply. Two years from now, people will be wondering what the heck happened to all that drilling they had heard was coming. They won’t remember that it provided no incentives for the states to drill. They’ll just blame those evil oil companies and their republican allies.

We have the chance to win with this issue. If we do nothing over the next 2 weeks, the ban ends and the democrats will have to vote to re-instate it. The gang of idiots needs to be stopped before they can disarm the only issue that the republicans can win with.

“Two Americas?” Edwards Has Two FAMILIES

Well, the Enquirer only reported it ten months ago. God forbid the mainstream media actually follow up on the story. It’s not like there weren’t any blogs writing about it — although admittedly, we didn’t write about it here, instead choosing to wait for a more “reliable” (LOL!) source. Lesson learned: the National Enquirer is more reliable than the mainstream media! ABC News finally broke the media silence, but it sure took long enough for them to get around to it. Pfffft.

Oh, I know - John Edwards says Rielle Hunter’s baby isn’t his. LOL. He also said many times in the last ten months that the Enquirer’s story about an affair was not true. We’re supposed to believe him now? And really, it’s not like having an affair (even if there are no children borne of it) is okay. Nice move having that affair when your wife has cancer, too. That’s a really nice touch.

What a miserable piece of shit. Filthy, rotten, amoral piece of shit. Silky Pony is scum. (But we knew that already.)

Curious silence on the former Edwards supporters’ blogs (cough Pandagon cough). Then again, it’s not like I’d expect any better from them. It’s especially rich considering some of those rabid Silky Pony supporters call themselves feminists — it reminds me of all the lefty feminists who defended Slick Willie and his extramarital activities. They’re only called “feminists” because they’re (angry) women, and they’re left-wingers. Phony losers.

Newsbusters is having a field day with the Edwards story - and has a little fun at Edwards’ expense with a caption contest. Father of the Year? LOL.

UPDATE: Banned at the Daily Kos for posting about the story! Is anyone surprised?

I have four words for evangelicals who won’t vote McCain/Romney

If you’re an evangelical that is supporting McCain and won’t cry if Romney is on his ticket, then my four words are “have a nice day”. You can stop reading. If, however, you are one of the evangelicals warning McCain that he better not take Romney because he’s a Mormon, then this is for you:

Eat. Sh*t. And. Die.

The idiot wing of the republican party is up to it again. First, they reject McCain. Then they complain when he’s the nominee. Hey buttwipes! You are responsible for McCain being the nominee. You didn’t like any of the people that could beat Barack or Hillary (including McCain) because they didn’t conform to your small minded viewpoints. Instead, you supported Huckabee. Freaking Huckabee! Mike “rewrite the constitution to conform to (his interpretation of) God’s law” Huckabee. Mike “subjugate women to their husbands” Huckabee. Mike “if we tied up all the democrats and independents and only allowed republicans to vote he still couldn’t be elected” Huckabee. You made a vote decision that defies any intellect whatsoever. A vote that is so close in stupidity to voting for Obama it’s hard to tell which is worse. Huckabee has quotes that make Obama’s misstatements look like a Cambridge Scholar. Even a republican only electorate would vote Obama over Huckabee you idiots. But, hey, he hates gays so he’s your man! Who cares that he is more liberal than McCain, Hillary or Rudy when it comes to fiscal irresponsibility and social engineering policy. Who cares that his policy twin is Bill Clinton. He’s your man! Brilliant. You could have supported Fred! Or Rudy. You could have pressured someone like JC Watts to come out. But no, you went for Mike “rewrite the constitution” Huckabee. Morons.

So after picking someone who even most republicans think is a loser, they have the audacity to tell him he better not pick Romney for his VP because he’s a Mormon. Really now? Seriously? McCain is the one candidate of the republican party that enjoyed telling you to go screw the devil and you think you can threaten him with a lack of support if he doesn’t cowtow to your bidding?

Hey idiots: BLOW ME! We are trying to win the presidency. If a Romney can deliver a state like Michigan where he and his family are immensely popular, then McCain should pick him and tell you to blow it out your pompous rears again. And, if you are dumb enough to tell McCain that you won’t vote for him because his running mate is a Mormon, then you are just like the daily Kos kids: too stupid to be allowed to vote.

Besides, here’s a newsflash for you: You stayed home in 2000 and we still won. We didn’t even break a sweat with your minimal support in 2004. You’re not nearly as powerful as you once were or think you are. Threats will get you nowhere because you haven’t gotten us anywhere for the last 2 elections. We’ll find a way without you. And when we do, you will rightly find yourself out in the cold.

Now, in fairness, on my local radio station they had evangelicals call in and a number, to their credit, said that they liked Romney’s conservative creds. Some even said that Romney would take them out of the “not voting” category and get them to vote McCain because he’s a great candidate. Unfortunately, there were a bunch from the idiot wing, that called and repeated the statements of the ones documented in the story. Because Romney is a Mormon, they won’t vote for McCain if he takes him. Idiots. Complete f’ing idiots. The sooner we can lose that part of our party, the better.

A couple funny things for your Saturday night

I know I seem like their field reporter, but they are so funny that they have to be mentioned yet again. So, over at the Moxargon Group, Barack Obama is having a yard sale. Stop by at Barack’s yard sale to shop his astoundingly low prices.

Here’s a little piece of advice for you. If you’re going to get drunk and drive and get caught, it is not a wise idea to go to a Halloween party dressed in a prison outfit and have pictures of you at said party drinking while dressed in said prison suit. It just might change the judges mind on sentencing when someone you hurt shows him those pictures on the myspace page. Oh and if you kill someone while drunk driving and then go to a party right afterword and post how you live to drink and party, the judge may look disfavorably on you when he sees that page too.

Here’s something you don’t see everyday, Pluto in Disney chasing a kid to kick his bahonkis. Apparently the kid nailed Pluto in the ~~nuts~~ globes and Pluto was out for a butt kicking.

Here’s another office freakout to laugh at. At least no one got hurt. Well, not that it shows.

Finally, as a soccer coach and sometime player, it is good to see the pros make the same stupid mistakes I do on the field. A handful of goalie mistakes.

Have a good Sunday!

Bitches, bastards, fags, rednecks, c*nts, and n*ggers

Nice post title, huh?

Okay, now that I have your attention. I was watching Hannity and Colmes — or rather, tonight, Michael Steele and Colmes, thank God (moar Steele, less Hannity plz, but I digress) –and the main discussion was about Whoopi Goldberg’s use of The N Word on The View today, and Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s distress about it. I don’t watch the show and don’t plan to, but what the hell? Why is Whoopi’s use of the word so upsetting? I’m sorry, but I don’t get why she (and others) don’t understand this. You don’t have to be black to understand what Whoopi Goldberg was talking about, and truthfully, any intellectually honest person should know this. Even stupid racists should.

Here’s the video.

I don’t use The N Word™, and it pisses me off when others do - unless it’s used by a black person as a term of endearment or whatever, as in, “nigga please.” Frankly, I find the outrage expressed by white people about black people using the word a little silly and pedantic. I have to wonder, why is any honest white person bothered by a black person saying it?

Let me ask: what’s the difference between that and women (and some men) saying “bitch” as a term of endearment, or gay men calling themselves or others “fags,” or women calling themselves “fag hags,” or white people calling themselves rednecks? What about those women who have “taken ownership” of the word c*nt, or those who just use it in a humorous way? (People do, you know.) What about “bastards?” Would you call an illegitimate child a “bastard?” No, but you might say it otherwise. Granted, it’s all unnecessarily crude, and there are plenty of other words that can be used that aren’t offensive to anyone. The point is, no, you/we white people can’t go around saying n*gger like black people do. It’s not “our word” to take ownership of; we’ve already had ownership of the word, and obviously not in a way in which anyone can be proud. If there’s a legitimate complaint, it’s that the word is offensive to too many people - as are bitch, fag, bastard, redneck/trailer trash, and c*nt (see? I won’t even write that word out either).

I’m just saying, Whoopi Goldberg is right. Elisabeth Hasselbeck and others who think it’s hypocritical (or whatever) are completely missing the point. I’m not sure why that is — maybe it’s overeagerness to argue and simple pedantry, maybe some are just obtuse, and maybe some absurdly feel oppressed or something because those people get to say it, but they can’t. Well, cry me a river.

Notice how I don’t feel compelled to self-censor on “bitch” or “fag” (let alone “redneck”)? It’s because those aren’t that offensive in the right context; they’ve become less powerful words. That’s the whole point. Obviously, anyone can argue that it’s made common language more vulgar, and I’d have to agree, but personally, I’m hardly in a place to say discourse should be more formal and refined. Your mileage may vary, of course.

So…explain to me why I’m wrong. I know some of y’all think I am, and I’m more than happy to debate you morons* on the issue. ;-P

* another term of endearment, as coined by fellow morons at Ace’s

Barack’s brilliant idea is todays PSA

Hi everyone! For once, Barack had a decent idea. A brilliant idea. Everyone should learn Spanish! Now, I know what you’re thinking. I thought it at first too! Why should we learn their language instead of having them learn ours? Well, I mulled this around a bit and then I had a thought. Barack is right! We should learn Spanish. Now, stay with me here.

Here is the DMV with the people lined up out the door.