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misc fun for Monday/Tuesday

So the UC Berkley is working on a way to make objects invisible. Kind of like that cloak in Harry Potter. The military is funding it, although I can see many civilian uses. You could toss it on and head for say, oh, I don’t know, the nearest women’s locker room! Or the hottest women’s dorm! It would be great for those sold out football or hockey games. yeah, some real good civilian uses for us guys. How much are they?

I love the olympics. Especially when the French tell us how they will “smash the Americans” in swimming and we nail them by 8/100ths of a second. The videos on youtube are being taken down left and right. So here is the NBC video of the relay and the medal ceremony and other swim events as well. The top 5 all beat the world record which means that 2 teams beat the record and went home without a medal. Ouch.

Speaking of the olympics, did you hear the story about our flag bearer at the opening ceremonies? Lopez Lomong was in Sudan during a civil war about 17 years ago. He was 6 at the time. He fled and wound up at a refugee camp in Kenya. He eventually was able to come to America where he gained his citizenship. He was inspired by other American olympians to try out for the olympics and made it in the 1500m run. When our original flag bearer was nixed by China due to political outspoken-ness, they chose Lopez. Incredible. From running from a bloody civil war at age 6, to an American olympian at age 23. Eat that one America hating lefties, you may not think it, but everyone else thinks we’re a darn good place to live. Glad to have you as a citizen, Lopez. We’re proud of you whether you win a medal or not. Go out there and do your best!

A 10 year old girl is blogging and youtube-ing for McCain. (Hat tip SisterToldjah)

A bulldog in Michigan saved a bag of kittens that had been thrown into a lake.

Finally, a couple examples of the best outcomes, intruder killed by homeowner!

And a sailor defends his girlfriend. Result? Intruder destroyed!

A couple funny things for your Saturday night

I know I seem like their field reporter, but they are so funny that they have to be mentioned yet again. So, over at the Moxargon Group, Barack Obama is having a yard sale. Stop by at Barack’s yard sale to shop his astoundingly low prices.

Here’s a little piece of advice for you. If you’re going to get drunk and drive and get caught, it is not a wise idea to go to a Halloween party dressed in a prison outfit and have pictures of you at said party drinking while dressed in said prison suit. It just might change the judges mind on sentencing when someone you hurt shows him those pictures on the myspace page. Oh and if you kill someone while drunk driving and then go to a party right afterword and post how you live to drink and party, the judge may look disfavorably on you when he sees that page too.

Here’s something you don’t see everyday, Pluto in Disney chasing a kid to kick his bahonkis. Apparently the kid nailed Pluto in the ~~nuts~~ globes and Pluto was out for a butt kicking.

Here’s another office freakout to laugh at. At least no one got hurt. Well, not that it shows.

Finally, as a soccer coach and sometime player, it is good to see the pros make the same stupid mistakes I do on the field. A handful of goalie mistakes.

Have a good Sunday!

What is that cup thing anyway?

There is nothing like the Cup. The Stanley Cup was donated to Hockey by Lord Stanley of Canada in 1892. He purchased it and declared that only the best team could win it and ever since, it has been the biggest prize in sports. There are 42 Lombardi trophies. The adorn various showcases in stadiums across the country. NBA trophies? Well, come by Detroit and we’ll show you some in our case. Baseball? Soccer? All give out trophies to keep. That’s where the Cup is different. There is only one Cup. Every year, the teams of the NHL strap on their skates and go out to battle. Over the season, they skate, shoot, check, fight, bleed, hurt and give everything they have, just for the chance to play for the Cup. At the end of the season, the deserving teams battle. They fight and claw their way through a gauntlet of games. The skate, check, bleed and give their all just so they can hold it for one fleeting moment. For one glorious minute, they hoist the Cup and skate with it. They take a traditional drink from it in the locker room. Over the summer, each member of the team, including the coaches, trainers, everyone, will get a day with the Cup. They can take it where they want. It has shown up in churches and strip clubs, bars and baseball games. It has travelled to Europe and Asia. It has visited troops and hospitals. The original, on display at the Hockey Hall of Fame, was even thrown into a lake in anger and had to be recovered. The entire season boils down to holding the Cup for a moment. But they only get it for a moment. In a few months, the cup will leave the champions and go back to the NHL. In October, the teams will strap the skates back on and they will skate, shoot, check, fight, hurt and bleed for just one more chance. One more sip. One more moment with the Cup. It is why they will take a puck to the face and leave the ice for stitches and return that game. It is why the push their bodies to the point of breaking. It is the meaning of the entire season. A moment holding the Cup.

But winning the Cup is more than a moment. If you look at the Cup, you will see rings that make up it’s base. Engraved on the rings are the names of the players and coaches of the teams that have won it. Each ring holds 13 teams and there are 5 rings. As a ring is filled, it is moved up and the top ring is taken to the Hall of Fame to be displayed with the original cup from the 1890’s. That is the magic of the Cup. Years from now, when most of this team is gone to Heaven, they will live on through the Cup. The team that hoists the Cup in 2050 will be able to read the names of Zetterberg, Osgood and Draper and the rest of the champions of this and other seasons as those names will still be on the Cup. The Cup is not a mere trophy, the Cup is immortality. It is hockey Valhalla. The warriors of the NHL fight to earn their place amongst the victorious warriors past and present. When they win, they place their name with the greats like Gretzky and Howe. When they drink from the Cup, they enter and are forever enshrined in the realm of the victors. The Cup may go back to the NHL, it may never again be touched by these players. That doesn’t matter. By winning the Cup, they leave their touch on it forever. Hail the glorious victors of Lord Stanley’s Cup. Hail to the Red Wings of 2008. Take your place amongst the deserving warriors and enjoy your time with the Cup. For now.

NHL Game 6 Chat

Come one, come all to the NHL game 6. Last one went to the 3rd overtime before Pittsburg took it 4-3. This should be as good a game. Hopefully not as long.

Update: AND IT’S OVER! WINGS WIN. WOO HOO! Thank you Stix for hanging out with me today. It was good to chat with you!

Miss AI? Well Join us for the Stanley Cup game 5!!

Let’s go WINGS!!! Woo Hoo! Also, we are thinking of heckling on Last Comic Standing. I’ll get that started hopefully this week! Who says our chat life died with AI? We can still have fun!

Game starts at 8:00! Don’t worry if you know nothing of hockey. I/we will teach you everything you need to know. You’ll be a fan by the end of the game! And even if you’re not, hey, it’ll be fun yakking again!

A stupid beagle? Seriously?

So meet America’s top dog. Seriously? Seriously? Are we being Punked? Please! I have a beagle. They are one of the dumbest dogs that ever existed. The stupid thing took over 6 months before it decided that outside was a better place to drop her loads. It chews everything it can get, especially the kids and cats. Every move they make has the word “Duh” in front of it. “Duh, walk” “Duh, Bark” “Duh, wag tail”. Hyper, spastic and irritating. Good Grief, Charlie Brown. This isn’t the cartoons. This is real life. Beagles are about as qualified to be top dog as Barak and/or Hillary are for POTUS.

Here is my beagle. Meet the Barak/Hillary of dogs.

Ok, maybe she is a bit more intelligent than Barak or Hillary. And, yes, she is definitely better to look at than they are. And she wears a tie better than they do. And yeah, she is much better to listen to than they are. I mean, Barak may as well go out and say ”BARK BARK BARAK”. He’d be saying just as much as he does now. But still, a beagle as top dog? Over a shepherd or doberman or retriever or a rott? Our standards drift ever lower. Who votes on these things? Makes me wonder if McCain might be in trouble. A beagle. Heaven help us.

John Kerry - Corporation Slayer

John Kerry* is sticking his nose into the ongoing negotiations between the NFL and cable companies regarding the NFL Network.

“Under the unfortunate circumstance that this matter remains unresolved, leaving 60 percent of households across the country – including thousands in Massachusetts – without access to Saturday’s game, I will ask the Senate Commerce Committee to hold hearings on how the emergence of premium sports channels are impacting the consumer,” he wrote to Goodell today in a letter released by his office.

Translation: Give your product away, or I’ll get the government to take it from you.

What a POS that man is. The NFL has made their position patently clear to the cable companies - they will only provide the channel if it is offered as part of the basic cable package. The cable companies want to leverage the NFL Network by making it part of a premium package. So the villain of the piece (if there is one) is certainly not the NFL.

In any event this is a (pending) commercial transaction between two private entities, and as such is nothing whatsoever to do with John Kerry.

*The haughty, French-looking Senator from Massachusetts.

Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling proves me right, albeit accidentally right

Remember the Weblog Awards Voting Guide I posted the week before last, saying it was “VRWC approved?”

It looks like I was pretty on-target.
Then:

Best Celebrity Blogger: Eh, who cares. I’m voting for Curt Schilling, though, even though I’m SO not a Red Sox fan. Better a baseball player blog than some stupid celebritard blog, right? And actually, it’s a good blog.

Today:

McCain’s having a good day, and it’s not because of the fight with CNN, or the blogger call or the funny web game.

Nope. It’s because of Curt Schilling’s endorsement. Even this Yankees fan admires the guts to play through the bloody sock.

Yep. Count this White Sox and Cubs fan (yes, both teams) in among Schilling’s admirers, as well. (More proof he’s one of the good guys here.)

By the way, I was in on the Blogger Conference Call with McCain as well, but Jim Geraghty did a far better job summarizing it than I did so I’ll defer to him. I’ll just write some general thoughts about it later.

Random HDTV thoughts

I just got HD on Directv, and it is AWESOME.

I’m watching New England stomping on the Redskins.

52-7. Ouch.

Now of course I need BluRay or HD DVD - anybody recommend one over the other?

Interservice Rivalry

Navy 31, Air Force 20.

Salt in the wound:

Florida State 21, #22 Alabama 14.

Auburn 20, #4 Florida 17.

Michael Vick Found Jesus!

Michael Vick gave a brief statement to the press following a hearing this morning in which he plead guilty to all the crimes he has adamantly denied and claimed were upsetting his mother.

He maintained his innocence and concern for what the accusations were doing to his mother right up until his co-defendants implicated him and he couldn’t lie his way out of it any longer.

Once it was determined his property was, indeed, used for dog fights, torturing and killing dogs and racketeering, he adamantly denied any knowledge his property was being used for such horrific activities. He was appalled. Shocked and appalled and concerned about how badly this was upsetting his mother.

When it got to the point he was trapped like a rat, he became remorseful for his participation in these events. He said that he had made some bad decisions because he was pressured by his childhood friends not to change when he became wealthy and famous.

His statement to the press this morning went something like this:

Me, me, me, me. I, I, me, I, me. I, me, I, me, me, I, I.

Futhermore, I, I, I, I, me, me, me, me. I, me, I, me. Me, me, me, me, me, me.

I want to say that I, me, I, me, I, me, I, me, me, I, I, me, me, I.

Me, me, me, me. I, I, me, I, me. I, me, I, me, me, I, I.

I, I, I, I, me, me, me, me. I, me, I, me. Me, me, me, me, me, me.

And in closing I, me, I, me, I, me, I, me, me, I, I, me, me, I.

He added at the end of his statement that one good thing had come from this. He had found Jesus [and please don't take all his money away.]

Just kinda touches your heart doesn’t it!

Don’t do drugs. Not steroids anyway.

CINCINNATI: Barry Bonds hit homer No. 751 to move with four of Hank Aaron’s career major league record, but the Cincinnati Reds beat the San Francisco Giants 7-3 in the National League on Tuesday.

And the entire history of baseball accomplishments went into the toilet.

We’ve airbrushed Mark McGwire out of St. Louis history. He’s a disgrace, and is never mentioned at our ball club.

Like McGwire, Barry Bonds is a cheat. A cheat and a phony. Oh, and a liar.

Let’s hope the SF Giants fans ignore his pretend-greatness, because everybody else sure-as-shi’ite will.

I know more about Prince than this guy. And he’s a celebrity blogger.

This guy asks “who knew that Prince played basketball?”.

Me. I did.

Charlie Murphy told me.

If that doesn’t make you laugh, you’re beyond help.

Another victory for idiocy

The All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club, which hosts the annual grass court Grand Slam event in Wimbledon, have lost their farking minds.

LONDON, England — Men and women will receive equal prize money at Wimbledon this year for the first time in the history of the most prestigious tennis tournament in the world.

So. The men play five set matches, against superior opposition, and are to receive equal prize money.

Last year, men’s champion Roger Federer received £655,000 ($1.170 million) and women’s winner Amelie Mauresmo pocketed £625,000 ($1.117 million)

“It’s definitely a victory for women in general. I said it was a matter of time, and it was,” Mauresmo said in Dubai.

“I think most of the people agreed it’s not a matter of how long we (women) spend on the court. The men are always going to play longer because they play best of five sets. It’s just a matter of being equal.”

If it’s a matter of being equal, then why aren’t you advocating merging the tournament into a single unisex championship, you bird-brained French tart?

Would it be because you’d get knocked out in the first round by a 19 year old qualifier from Indonesia who nobody has even heard of?

Or perhaps she’s advocating five sets for the ladies? Three for the men? No?

Idiots.

Equal. Does anybody who tosses that term around own a farking dictionary?