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Paris for president? She’s better than Barack

Ok, not really presidential material, but look, she’s already more qualified than Barack. She’s held several jobs that people actually do (remember her TV series?). That makes her more experienced. She’s also more tactful. What has Barack Obama done after every commercial run about him? Cried like a spoiled little baby and played the race card. Compare that to Paris’ response: McCain uses her in an ad slamming Obama as a glorified celebrity. Does Paris get mad? No. Does she pout? Not any more than usual. Does she play a gender/celeb card? Nope. She does what she does best: She turns it around and markets it. Smarter, more tactful, more experienced and funny:

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

First, she picks at McCain a bit. That’s fair. He picked at her in his ad. She didn’t get nasty or mean. She poked and made fun. Then she makes it all about her in a positive way. She’s running for president now she guesses. Oh, and once she reads about the best place to tan, she has an oil plan. A plan that I will point out may not work, but already has more IQ behind it than Obama’s.

The saddest part of this is she shows more intelligence in this ad than Obama has ever shown. And she delivered it without notes or a teleprompter. Barack can’t do that! Now, I know the funny or die guys had their hand in it. But still, this is funny and quite frankly a nice distraction while the media pulls everything out to make Obama’s “inflate your tires and you’ll never have to fill up again” policy seem intelligent.

The Long National Nightmare is Over - American Idol Finale

Thank God it’s finally ending. Too bad I hate both Davids. Just kill me now.

Pimps & Hoes for Obama - Throwing Up

I’m throwing up too. Srsly. (Via QuitterMacStansbury.)

Vote Obama TISA from derrick jeffrey on Vimeo.

this cult shit

yes I can

We. Are. Doomed.

I wonder, do the idiots who make these videos have ANY idea how ridiculous they look? Do they have any sense of how much these look like parody? (They actually aren’t parody. Really.)

We get David Archuleta and Jason Castro, Britain gets Paul Potts and Faryl Smith

GAWD. American Idol is simply the worst crap ever, especially this year.

How is it that Simon Cowell is on both American Idol and Britain’s Got Talent, and we end up with the lamest, most boring shit ever? David “Susan” Archuleta, Jason Poopy Castro, and David Cook and his Plastic Hair? (Syesha is nothing special either, although I voted ten times for her last night because of my violent hatred for the two Davids.)

Compare with this from Faryl Smith (only 12 years old!) on Britain’s Got Talent:

Screw you, American Idol. I am officially pissed.

To Chris & everyone from last night’s live-blog: Sorry I missed the live-blog; I was busy getting Jane’s website (Armies of Liberation) redone and wasn’t at a good stopping point. (Go look!) I still have some more finishing touches to do here and there, but it’s basically finished. :)

Anyway, I did watch/cringe during last night’s show, and I can only say this: WORST SEASON EVER. I hate everyone who voted for the two Davids almost as much as I hate everyone who kept Poopy around as long as he was. Syesha is boring as hell, but she’s nowhere near as bad as the others. Tonight will be a new low in vicious bile-spewing in our live-blog. Sixty Minute Hate.
TONIGHT, WE DINE IN HELL!

American Idol - Worst Season Ever