John Edwards | MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy

Archive for the 'John Edwards' Category

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warren buffett goes up in my estimation

Not by much - he knows a great deal about business but is an economics illiterate (and no, the two are not the same, not even slightly) - but a little.

No, I didn’t–I didn’t give money to John Edwards. And, in fact, I think if I’d given money to him, I’d probably be asking for it back now. It’s an interesting situation because John Edwards essentially was soliciting money from people to further his ambitions for the presidency, and, you know, people sent him 50, $100, $200, and I would say that they sent it in while they were being misled by the person who was soliciting the money from them…..

…..And, in fact, I’ve never heard of it, but it might be kind of interesting if somebody, some contributor, would bring a class-action suit on behalf of all these people who essentially were led to send money to a man under totally false circumstances, false pretenses, and where he knew it and didn’t tell them the truth.

I would crawl a mile through broken glass on my hands and knees to watch footage of John Edwards testifying in a class action suit brought against him by other Democrats. Hopefully someone would be there to channel the unborn love child that Edwards never fathered.

Guest speaker: President William Jefferson Clinton

My fellow Americans, I want to thank you for letting me speak here today. Beth, thank you for the platform. You know, it’s funny, when my wife pulled that vast right wing conspiracy crap out of her vast rear, I rolled my eyes thinking, no one will ever buy that. And here I am, years later, actually addressing that very group! So thank you Beth for the chance to speak. Oh, and by the way, 914-555-1016, call me. Hillary’s out trying to make back some of that money we lost in her campaign. We’ll have the house all to ourselves.

What? My speech? Oh, yeah, sorry. Been distracted lately. Anyway, I am here to speak about something very near and dear to my heart. I want to address the affair of John Edwards. Like most of you, I was stunned. I was absolutely blown away. After all they had been through together, for him to totally blow Miss Hunter off like that and run back to his wife was inexcusable. What were you thinking John? You don’t drop them until you get caught or they get fat. I remember when Monica and I were going at it. She was really cute then. She hadn’t put on all that weight yet. Did I drop her? Heck no! Why? Come on, you have to ask? You saw the primaries. How would you feel married to that? Oh, and Monica, I’m so so sorry, 914-555-1016, call me. Please. No one has ever used their tongue like you did and my special scented cigar collection has run out. Please, call me back. I keep leaving messages but you haven’t returned them. Why not? I thought I was special. We can still play “slippery Bill and his special 5 door pentagon”.

What? My speech? Oh, yeah, sorry. Back to Miss Hunter. I mean Monica. Bah, I mean John Edwards. John, I will compliment you on your score. Vernon and I were doing a T&A check and she had all the right parts in all the right places. Very nice. Almost as good as Spitzer’s score and you didn’t have to pay all that cash either! I have to say, If I had known that hot chicks like that were available for the bangin’, I would have been much much busier. None of that so called “business of the American people” would have been completed. Monica would have had to make an appointment. Just kidding Monica. Call me. Oh, Rielle, 914-555-1016, call me too. We can do a group. You could be the underground tunnels to Monica’s 5 door pentagon.

Ok, ok. The speech. Seriously though, I do have to say that John lacked good judgment in having that affair while Elizabeth was battling cancer. What were you thinking there John? You couldn’t wait and now you look like a jerk. Just think of all that “I want to be the next Mrs. Edwards sex” that you blew. Pity sex is incredible. That would have been the best you’d ever get! You could have had Rielle, her sister and all her girlfriends all at once. And the best thing is if someone challenged you, you could have tossed on the fake “Ron Brown funeral” tears and told them it’s just so hard. Women melt with that one. Come on man, I know you’re smarter than that.

Instead of all that, you now screwed around on a woman who is battling cancer. A woman who has been there for you over and over. You now look like a cad and a jerk. Elizabeth, I’m so sorry John did that to you. If there is anything I can do to help you, please don’t hesitate. And you know, Hillary is gone for a while, I have the house to myself. I could, you know, “comfort” you. You could be the soft billowy clouds over Monica’s pentagon. 914-555-1016. Call me.

Who am I kidding? No one calls me anymore. Now they want Obama. Freaking Obama! Are you kidding me? I’m the rock star, not that wannabe. Did he ever play the sax on Arsenio? Did he? I think not. I, ME, I am the one who did. ME! I am THE ONE! I was the real first black president. Not that poser. I was on top of the world. I won twice. Twice! That idiot can’t even be elected in a fair fight. Now, I can’t get anyone to call me back. They’re like “Ooh that Barack, he’s so..” Excuse me? What? The door? Ok, I understand. Thank you for letting me speak to your wonderful group. Oh, and Beth, Hillary is away for a while, call me! Please!

John Edwards, Silky Pony

I know I’ve posted this before, but too bad. It’s my favorite video.

Primping for a hot date with Rielle, perhaps? ;-)

“Two Americas?” Edwards Has Two FAMILIES

Well, the Enquirer only reported it ten months ago. God forbid the mainstream media actually follow up on the story. It’s not like there weren’t any blogs writing about it — although admittedly, we didn’t write about it here, instead choosing to wait for a more “reliable” (LOL!) source. Lesson learned: the National Enquirer is more reliable than the mainstream media! ABC News finally broke the media silence, but it sure took long enough for them to get around to it. Pfffft.

Oh, I know - John Edwards says Rielle Hunter’s baby isn’t his. LOL. He also said many times in the last ten months that the Enquirer’s story about an affair was not true. We’re supposed to believe him now? And really, it’s not like having an affair (even if there are no children borne of it) is okay. Nice move having that affair when your wife has cancer, too. That’s a really nice touch.

What a miserable piece of shit. Filthy, rotten, amoral piece of shit. Silky Pony is scum. (But we knew that already.)

Curious silence on the former Edwards supporters’ blogs (cough Pandagon cough). Then again, it’s not like I’d expect any better from them. It’s especially rich considering some of those rabid Silky Pony supporters call themselves feminists — it reminds me of all the lefty feminists who defended Slick Willie and his extramarital activities. They’re only called “feminists” because they’re (angry) women, and they’re left-wingers. Phony losers.

Newsbusters is having a field day with the Edwards story - and has a little fun at Edwards’ expense with a caption contest. Father of the Year? LOL.

UPDATE: Banned at the Daily Kos for posting about the story! Is anyone surprised?

You Decide: The Other Political Loser of the Week

Besides Barack Obama and Jeremiah Wright, let’s pick The (Other) Loser of the Week.

Cowardly John Edwards, who appeared on Jay Leno last night but still couldn’t decide upon a date to the dance? (Aren’t you glad you didn’t support this fickle mistress?)

- OR -

Newly inaugurated Governor David Paterson, who appears to have paid for his own “female troubles?”

- OR -

Jon Carry, because….well, just because he’s Jon Carry?

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Silky Pony kicks on

The Most Disingenuous Man in America™ is turning up the volume and the left is loving it.

The enemy he sees is corporate America and corporate greed. His message seeks not to unite America but to finish what he describes as “an epic struggle” against forces that are, literally, killing America — destroying jobs, holding down wages, putting ordinary Americans out of work or denying them medical care.

Corporations don’t in any real sense actually exist. They are the legal vehicle enabling the interests of shareholders and employees to be aligned with customers, further enabling the delivery of products and services. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Big Oil is me. It’s you. It’s anybody with a mutual fund. It’s anybody that buys gas. To demonize a legal formulation is idiotic, even for a mental midget like John Edwards.

His language is over the top. He casts the challenges facing America in terms of morality and immorality. Speaking of tax policies that have encouraged companies to send jobs overseas, he says, “This is insanity — I mean complete insanity.”

The rich have an “iron-fisted grip” on democracy and won’t let go through negotiations. “Anybody who suggests that we don’t have an epic fight on our hands is living in Never-Never Land,” he says.

Isn’t Never-Never Land a giant ranch in North Carolina? Oh no, sorry. That’s Edwards’ house.

This guy would be a perfect nominee.

For the GOP.

Thank you, Silky Pony

I think I’ll be saving this for next year. :mrgreen:

(Yes, it pains me that it’s actually a Silky Pony ad, but I’m more than happy to enjoy this on his dime.)

Edwards unveils electoral suicide note

Silky Pony, arguably the most disingenuous self-absorbed opportunist on the planet, has decided that America needs a New New Deal. Despite unemployment at 4.5%, the Dow north of 13,000 and record-setting job growth, the American economy is on the edge of a feevah, and the Breck Girl has the solution - COWBELL.

Well, actually, higher taxes.

John Edwards says if he’s elected president, he’ll institute a New Deal-like suite of programs to fight poverty and stem growing wealth disparity. To do it, he said, he’ll ask many Americans to make sacrifices, like paying higher taxes.

He’ll ask? I suspect he probably won’t.

Following his promise to heal the sick, in 2004, when he stated as a fact that Christopher Reeve would walk again if John Kerry was elected President, he’s upped the absurd unkeepable promise ante…

Like other Democrats, Edwards named his top three priorities as ending the war in Iraq, enacting universal health care and overhauling the American energy system. “Those are three things instantly I would do,” he said.

INSTANTLY, d’ya hear? This guy won’t bother with the whole Congress/legislation thing, but simply wave his magic wand and enact universal health care INSTANTLY.

That this muppet is even in the top tier of Democrat candidates tells you all you need to know about their supporters. Fortunately this ding-dong stands precisely zero chance of ever implementing this warmed-over neo-socialist bunk.

EEJIT.

Silky gets tough

On America.

NEW YORK (AP) - Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards is proposing an international organization to fight terrorism through shared intelligence - cooperation that he says will combat the dangers facing the United States where President Bush has failed.

Number of successful attacks launched against the United States since 9/11: Zero.

Edwards said the centerpiece of his terrorism policy will be a new multilateral organization called the Counterterrorism and Intelligence Treaty Organization. He said it will be designed to coordinate operations like the recent arrest of three suspected terrorists in Germany who were suspected of plans to bomb airports and other institutions in the country.

I certainly think another multilateral organization will do the trick. I mean, after all, the existing ones do such a bang-up job.

Edwards accused Bush of focusing on Cold War institutions designed to win traditional wars instead of cooperation with allies to take out small hostile groups. He also accused him of “an exclusively short-term focus on the enemy we know” and “a foreign policy of convenience that readily does business with whoever is available and regularly turns a blind eye when our allies behave wrongly or fail to cooperate.”

“Most of all, instead of reckless, solo pursuit of an ideological agenda that abandons our moral authority and disregards our allies, we need to re-engage with the world and reassert our moral leadership,” Edwards said.

Huh? By moral leadership is he talking about abandoning a country to the tender mercies of Al Qaeda? Because I don’t think that would really count.

Heavens preserve us if this man ever sets foot in the White House.

Silky Pony posturing for the nutroots

John Edwards has already surpassed Bill Clinton as the oiliest politician evah!!

Now he’s banning lobbyist contributions to his campaign.

“There are now more than 60 lobbyists for every member of Congress. The system is clearly rigged against the people who make our country great,” Edwards wrote to Obama is seeking his support.

Edwards’ maneuver is designed to reinforce the populist role he has embraced in this campaign and is an attempt to get a leg up on Obama, who also has a rule of not accepting money from federal lobbyists.

He’ll say anything. Absolutely anything. He’s taken oodles of money from Wall Street, why is that any different? Or more importantly, plaintiff’s attorneys. If anybody has an interest in manipulating lawmakers it’s them.

Edwards has raised $23 million. While eschewing lobbyists and PAC money, Edwards, a former trial lawyer, has benefited more than any other candidate from money from attorneys.

His campaign on Thursday, however, drew a distinction between money from lobbyists and that of other donors with possible special interests.

Ah ha!

He makes my skin creep.

Silky, you are teh panda

Yahoo runs an AP story featuring Silky Pony shamelessly pandering at YearlyKos.

Edwards received a loud cheer when he suggested his rivals were tinkering around the edges — “I just heard some discussion about negotiation, compromise” — rather than overhauling government. He said the nation needs “big change, not small change.”

I thought negotiation and compromise were an absolute moral imperative; wasn’t that what Bush and the Neocons had conspicuously failed to do? Or is negotiation and compromise what you do with America’s mortal enemies, but with your domestic political opponents you man the barricades and fight to the death? I’m farking confused.

Edwards is blatantly stroking the most extreme elements in the nutroots, dragging the debate to the left and forcing the entire field into la-la land, from where they cannot be elected. The AP might love Edwards, but the higher-ups in the party must be in despair. This has got to run another few months, and Edwards doesn’t care one jot. He’ll say and do absolutely anything - the man is a sociopath; worse than Bill Clinton. Seriously.

Nonetheless, the bloggers booed and hissed when Clinton insisted a moment later that nobody would believe that she could be influenced by lobbyists’ money. So would she continue to accept those donations?

“Yes, I will,” she said, arguing that plenty of lobbyists represent good causes. “They represent nurses, they represent social workers, they represent, yes, they represent corporations that employ a lot of people.”

Obama rejected that argument, saying Clinton should know better because special interest money helped sink her health care package in 1993. The crowd cheered wildly.

Edwards asked crowd members how many of them were represented by lobbyists. A few hands went up, and his point was made.

His point being? Am I missing something? What was his point? That bloggers don’t want or need representation in DC? That Kos is a Mickey Mouse outfit comprised of self-righteous, emotionally-stunted, utopian bigots, who gauge moral purity as hatred of one’s enemies, and admiration for the enemies of one’s enemies? Where political piety is judged by absolute unwillingness to move beyond the failed ideologies of 1968?

Seriously, this is quite absurd. They have all, I guarantee it, said things today that will hurt them in the 2008 campaign proper.

This man is a dick.

Yes, everybody’s favorite Silky Pony is at it again.

August 3, 2007 — WASHINGTON - John Edwards, who yesterday demanded Democratic candidates return any campaign donations from Rupert Murdoch and News Corp., himself earned at least $800,000 for a book published by one of the media mogul’s companies.

Oops. The guy is such an amateur, it’s almost fun!

The campaign didn’t respond to a question from The Post about whether it was hypocritical for Edwards to take money from News Corp. while calling for other candidates not to.

I wonder why not? He’s no doubt working out which of his staff took the money - probably the same one that booked his $400 haircut.

From his hilarious website:

“Moreover, given Fox News’ consistent efforts to demean Democrats — they have attacked the character of Senator Obama, Vice President Gore, and many others — no Democrat running for president should accept campaign money from top News Corp executives. So, today, I’m challenging every Democratic presidential candidate to refuse contributions from News Corp executives and return any they’ve already taken, beginning with Rupert Murdoch. The time has come for Democrats to stop pretending to be friends with the very people who demonize the Democratic Party.”

What. A. Dick.

Shamelessly pandering to the leftards

John Edwards.

“I think Washington is broken … I think it is rigged against you,” said Edwards as the crowd erupted in applause.

Which might prompt the question “Why didn’t you tell us that during the six years you worked there?”

“We are the worst polluters in the world,” said Edwards, adding that unlike other Democrats, he does not want to solve the problem through an increase in nuclear power plants.

I suggest a combination of wind, solar, hydro, elven spells and pixie dust be deployed to confront this most pressing of all the issues facing America.

At the conclusion of the event, man-of-the-people Edwards and his staffers climbed aboard a solar-powered Gulfstream IV and flew to his hairdresser’s house.

Silky Pony wants a “Peace Corps” to fight the War on Terror

Oh, I’m sorry, did I say “fight” or “war?” Sorry, by “fight” I meant “mock,” and by “war on terror” I meant “bumper stickers.”

The plan Mr. Edwards presented yesterday — which he dubbed “A Strategy to Shut Down Terrorists and Stop Terrorism Before It Starts” — calls for a 10,000-person “Marshall Corps” to deal with issues ranging from worldwide poverty and economic development to clean drinking water and micro-lending. He said investing in those areas would shore up weak nations and help ensure that terrorism does not take root there. That, he said, would allow the country to stop potential terrorists before they even join the ranks.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

OK, actually it’s not funny, because this clown is running for President. Not that he’s going anywhere with that bullshi’ite, but he does get an awfully large stage on which to air his deluded ideas. Idiot.

John Edwards: “a pathetic, ridiculous low-life”

God, I love Jackie Mason.

Hillary Clinton doesn’t get any praise, either. “Besides changing her position more than a hooker in a whorehouse, Hillary also changes her voice too.” :twisted: