Jody | MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy

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Is She Insane Yet?

I. Just. Wanted. To. Do. This. Post. Because. I’m. A. Guy. And. I. Have. No. Boobies. And. I. Think. No. I. Believe. That. I. Can. Drive. Traffic. To. This. Blog. If. Beth. Goes. Really. And. Truly. And. Clinically. And. Diagnosed. By. A. Psychiatrist. Insane. Because. She. Well. I’ll. Leave. It. At. That.

Look who’s back in the blogosphere

JODY!

(formerly of Steal the Bandwagon and occasional co-conspirator, with a brand-new blog)

Anyone interested in learning what “Vince Aut Morire” means go here.

“Vinnie,” of course, is a pseudonym that arose from the fact that when I started blogging, everyone thought my name was Vince.

Someday I’ll sit down with ya’ll over a beer and tell you more about myself. Once I’m positive you’re not wearing a Semtex belt.

:mrgreen:

A Prank After My Own Heart

It doesn’t quite match up to the old crap in a bag on fire, but it will do:

Three days before Christmas, a Palos Heights woman got quite a shock when she opened a package that arrived for her at home.

She quickly realized it wasn’t a gift from Santa Claus, as the tag said.

“I picked it up, it was red and squishy,” said Kelly, 18, who asked that her last name not be used. “Then I saw an eyeball looking at me, and I freaked out.”

The box contained an animal’s bloody head.

Palos Heights police believe it was a prank but are continuing their investigation.

Kelly, a freshman at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, is a vegan and does not eat any animal products. Her best friend and boyfriend also are vegans, and many of their friends are vegetarians.

“I’ve been asking all my friends, and I don’t know anybody who would do something like this,” she said. “My friends would all know that I take being a vegan seriously and wouldn’t find it funny.”

I find it hilaroius. Payback is a motherfarker.

Don’t be sad for the animal, if you read the article, it was most likely properly devoured by rational, human type creatures.

But this line at the end has me snorting beer through my nose:

“It’s just horrible,” she said. “I never thought that someone would do something like this in real life. It’s like something you’d see in a movie.”

No, darlin’, you wouldn’t see this in a movie. No self-loathing Hollywood leftard would make a movie detailing the suffering of animals released to certain death by the Animal Liberation Front. No Hollywood studio would film the thousands of worthy pets slaughtered each year by PeTA owned shelters. No bleatasticfarktard of a Hollywood director would ever chronicle on celluloid how the Sioux Indians would stampede Bison off a cliff.

You should be grateful, it’s the only head you’ll ever get.

Burned out on SCOTUS…

Oh yay! Just what I wanted… now we get to play a whole new game of “name that Supreme Court nominee”… Is anyone else as sick of this whole SCOTUS thing as I am? The only thing that makes the Supreme Court interesting at all is imagining what they have on underneath those robes (uh, okay maybe not) and the fact they seem to have unwielding power to interpret and change any law they darn well please (hmm, maybe a reason to care afterall).

Still, very boring.

But admittingly, my best friend George may not have done the greatest job choosing Mier. But think of all the people he had to choose from! Too. Much. Pressure.

So I say we help Bush out and choose the people who should NOT be Supreme Court Justices…so he doesn’t have to.

So my choices of who NOT to pick are:

Opportunity

Rosa Parks died today at age 92. Strange, how one simple act of defiance sparked a revolution. Or maybe not so strange considering this country’s beginnings. The “one shot heard around the world” that began a Revolution never imagined by the entire world.

And in both instances,the stage was set for a new way to live. To live in freedom, with the promise of hope. No, we don’t have complete equality. Honestly, it doesn’t exist. There are people with more natural ability, others who were born more priveledged. But this country has something that many countries still do not have. This country has opportunity.

The opportunity to be defiant when conventional thinking is absolutely wrong. The opportunity to be educated. The opportunity to work hard and provide for your family. Opportunity. That is the greatest gift they gave to us over 200 years ago. It is the gift that Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King, Jr., and so many others struggled to give to sadly neglected segment of our country. Opportunity is their legacy.

Some liberals think they have the market on “race” relations cornered in this country. They have done their best to paint conservatives as unfeeling heartless fiends. People who could care less about others. Bigots. Who are unwilling to change injustices just to protect the status quo. Liberals would love for you to believe this about us. But they truly miss the point.

Conservatism is not about defending a rigid status quo, keeping the rules the same no matter what. Change is inevitable.

Conservatism is basically about preserving this country’s opportunity. Why do we want school vouchers? To give opportunity. Why do we support the war on terror? To preserve our opportunity. To make sure our children will have the same opportunities that we have today. Why do we support corporations and “big business”? For the opportunities they provide us all. Yes, we demand hard work and sacrifice. You may have to work harder than others, and yes, that isn’t always fair.

But at least you have the opportunity.

Hurricane Wilma, the definitive edition.

Living an hour north of Orlando, I have survived Wilma!

Granted the storm actually went through several hundred miles south of us and all we received were the outerbands of the storm. I still feel completely qualified to give my firsthand account of the terror that was these outerbands:

Rain and Wind. Lots of it.

Okay. Thatisall.

(Whew!)

…Actually no. Although we were technically in the predicted cone of impact for most of the hurricane forecast; once the hurricane came closer, we were no longer part of the “CONE of destruction.” But don’t tell the local newscasters this. They did their best to report evacuation routes, school closings, best methods of plywooding your windows…and scaring the heck out of a lot of people. I know, I know. The weather was bad, but why not just report it instead of giving dire circumstance after circumstance of what could happen? The “what ifs” were as implausible as the newscasters NOT wearing yellow rain jackets as they tied themselves to a pole to keep from “blowing away.”

Do you wonder why people don’t evacuate from these storms? Because our local media makes it out that everyone is in danger. You’re in Naples? Yeah you’re going to die! Want to evacuate to Orlando? Well that’s fine but there will be possibly hundreds of tornadoes and the wind gusts could down trees and homes and small animals and young children could be blown away. Plus alllll the hotels are filled up.

People were asking themselves where they could go, because no place was safe! The ENTIRE Florida Pennisula was going to be in someway completely devastated…either by the stormwall, the tornadoes, the pythons, the sharks with the laser beams attached to their head… whatever.

Again, report the facts without the hype. And how about red rain jackets next time?

Professor Diaz?

I came across this article and of course it caught my eye (all mindless celebrity stuff does):

STANFORD, Calif. — Cameron Diaz surprised a class at Stanford University when the “Charlie’s Angels” star helped lead a lecture on environmentally friendly design.

Diaz’s appearance Thursday came as part of taping for an mtvU program called “Stand-In” in which celebrities teach a class. On Tuesday, Madonna lectured students at New York’s Hunter College.

Just one thing, if I were a student at Stanford, paying close to $45,000 a year for my education, wouldn’t I be just a little bit inclined to ask for a discount or a refund for that wasted hour of my life?

Please! Unless Cameron Diaz was leading a discussion on Justin Timberlake 101, why did this university allow this? (And don’t even get me started on Madonna “lecturing” students!)

Celebrities,

Do what you’re paid to do:

Look pretty and entertain us. Don’t try to educate. Please don’t try to “inform”. Protests, heartfelt pleas and college lectures are not welcomed. And your political views? Yeah we don’t care about those either. It’s bad enough Bono is meeting with Bush…

Friday Night Celeb Spot

A helpful guide for those who can’t keep their mouths shut:

Use a pacifier. You whine and pout like a baby, no one would even notice.

Stuff a sock in there. Why not? You already have your foot stuck in it.

Duct Tape. Not just for “handyman” husbands anymore.

Eat sh*t. Your mouth is full of it anyways.

Okay, I feel better… moving along…

Don’t Worry Everyone!

It’s okay! Honest! To the relief of everyone, Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie are still making the Simple Life!

Whew. Although Fox cancelled the series, they’ve decided to continue on because honestly what better things do they have to do? Plus, “it’s hot.”

Yeah. This is my first post after a temporary hiatus. Deal with it. :)

What else can I say? (Don’t worry, it will be said.)

i hate computers

What’s a DTS failure? And why does it make my computer not do anything at all? Ugh. Does this mean I’ll lose my entire hard drive?!

It does mean that I’ll have to wait for the IT department at work to fix it which means it will never be fixed and I’ll have to beg and plea to use my husband’s computer for any internet access at all.

For some reason he doesn’t like me to borrow his, he thinks I’ll break it (imagine that!)…

Sigh.

A Princess Party…the instruction guide

Or how to confirm to your friends and family that you are an obsessive nut:

Giving Christians a bad name…

This crap is just ammunition for liberals and moonbats who look for any way to attack Christianity! Well, I am beating all of you lefty’s to the punch and saying this is completely unacceptable. This is why so many people see Christians as judgemental and as bigots. If these people are true “Christians”, I want my membership revoked:

A 14-year-old student was expelled from a Christian school because her parents are lesbians, the school’s superintendent said in a letter.

Shay Clark was expelled from Ontario Christian School on Thursday.

“Your family does not meet the policies of admission,” Superintendent Leonard Stob wrote to Tina Clark, the girl’s biological mother.

Stob wrote that school policy requires that at least one parent may not engage in practices “immoral or inconsistent with a positive Christian life style, such as cohabitating without marriage or in a homosexual relationship,” the Los Angeles Times reported in Friday’s edition.

Thank God that He does not judge me on what my parents have done or not done. I have enough faults and sins on my own without worrying about my family’s! This is absolutely insane!

When did parents’ sexuality become criteria on who can be a part of a Christian school or not?

Just a quick Sunday School lesson for this “Christian” school: If you kick the people who may need Christ most in their lives out of the church, then you might not be the most effective witness. How about judging the 14-year old girl on her own merits and not on who her parents are? How about showing some love and compassion instead of bigotry and hate? How about showing a little common sense and a little bit of Christianity?

How about learning what the true “positive Christian lifestyle” is before enforcing your rigid standards on someone who has no control on what their parents do or don’t do?? The “positive Christian lifestyle” according to the Bible is simple and eloquent. It can basically are comprised of two commandments: Love God. Love your neighbor. Christianity is the religion of love. It is people like these administrators who twist the true meaning of Christianity and the “positive Christian lifestyle.”

What do you think?

Update: I changed the link because people were having problem accessing the full article without registering (I hate registration sites!). Also one person raised the question about if the parents were “flaunting” their relationship; from the article it appears the school only found out about the parent’s relationship because the girl was involved in some kind of disciplinary action.

Also MacStansbury in the comments, makes the point that maybe the school is intentionally hiding under the “christian” school label to exclude these type students. Which could be a valid point, but does it make it right?

Update 2: I probably have not made myself clear. Whatever. My point won’t change. But just to reiterate: My whole point is that this is why Christians have such a bad name. These people aren’t following biblical principles of love and compassion. I understand we can’t change the private schools and their admission standards and I don’t want the government to have that power over of them, I just want us as Christians to be willing to stand up against these groups who exclude on the basis of someone not fitting a certain mold. Jesus didn’t, what makes us think we should?

I’m done. Next subject please.

Democrats on filibuster : Just say no!

Now that John Roberts is on his way to becoming the next Supreme Court Chief Justice; the Democrats are focusing on the next guy who Bush nominates for the court. Apparently they have decided that they’re most likely going to filibuster against that nomination. Even though, they don’t know who that nomination is yet.

It has made me realize something very important about those wacky Democrats and the filibuster… The filibuster is not just a shifty tool they use and a political career destroyer (think Daschle), but apparently there are some narcotic qualities within the filibuster that addict the user and blind them to any sense or reason (or is this a quality needed to use the filibuster?). In other words, the filibuster is the Democrat’s crack.

There must be some strange high or buzz given to them as they use the filibuster to try and manipulate the presidential nominees. A sense of empowerment and euphoria to compensate for the lack of power. They itch and scratch like junkies to use their special friend and were so disappointed that Roberts couldn’t fufill their wish. So now they say to comfort themselves as they try to get to the next high: “next time.” Without any knowledge of who that nominee will be.

Absurd? But a reality. What employer in their right mind would already be planning how to turn down a job applicant without even knowing who that applicant is? And especially since the position is open, if they do manage to turn down the next nominee; there will be another. Appointed by a Republican president.

Sorry to kill the buzz, Harry Reid. But really get help. Now.

Moving in…

Yes. I admit it. Beth has finally won. For the longest time, she was so intimidated by me and my blogging abilities and has continually tried to sabotage my blogging efforts anyway she could. I mean, who wouldn’t? I’ve had a consistent 5 readers a DAY, since the beginning of my blog. If that isn’t impressive, I don’t know what is. Since Beth realized she couldn’t stop me from blogging, she changed her evil plan to try to entice me to blog with her.

So finally after the begging, the pathetic pleading, the tears, the annoying late night phone calls; Beth finally let me move in here.

It might take a while for me to get settled in, but this is my new home now. A little more colorful than what I’m used to, and my sidebars were never this…um…decorated. But what great company and what an amazing blog. Who wouldn’t want to blog here?

Just a little about me, if you MUST know:

A bit obsessive.
Totally paranoid.
Brutally honest.
I don’t hold my tongue very well.
I am 26.
Married.
And a mommy to a 3 year old princess.
Oh and I am so the president of George Bush fan club.

See? Well rounded and everything!

YAY! Thanks Beth! I am so excited!!!

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