Preston Taylor Holmes | MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy

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We Are All Lil’ Kim!

USA Today columnist Yolanda Young says that recently-convicted rapper/debutante “Lil’ Kim” (a/k/a Kimberly Jones) is yet another victim of “lying for men.” (Please pardon the Fisking, but it’s just so ripe…)

Rapper Kimberly Jones (aka Lil’ Kim) was sentenced this week to serve 366 days in prison for her perjury and conspiracy conviction. What the Grammy winner is really guilty of is falling on the sword in an attempt to save an irresponsible man.

Two things jump out here - first and foremost, Lil’ Kim is a victim. In other words, this kind of thing could happen to any of us at any time. WE ARE ALL LIL’ KIM!

Second, Young views a thug who engages in a gunfight outside a radio station as merely an irresponsible man. Irresponsible is not paying the utility bill. Irresponsible is losing your keys. Engaging in a gunfight with another bunch of rap thugs is not irresponsible. Lil’ Kim is not the first victim of irresponsible men, however…

We’ve known about this epidemic since the now-defunct black news magazine, Emerge, introduced us to Kemba Smith, a Hampton University student sentenced to more than 24 years in prison for helping her boyfriend, Peter Hall, run a drug ring. President Clinton eventually granted her clemency.

God bless President Clifford. He spent 8 years teaching America how to avoid personal responsibility for its own actions. He also taught us that perjury isn’t really punishable by law, so it’s understandable that Lil’ Kim’s followers would be angry and confused by the conviction. But most importantly, when will the epidemic of young black women victimized by irresponsible men ever end???

During her trial, she acknowledged in testimony that the two men were freeloading, frequently spending the night at her home and otherwise taking advantage of her.

Unfortunately, Smith and Jones are not aberrations. Instead, their cases have become fairly commonplace among women. The Bureau of Justice Statistics found that the female prison population has increased from 68,468 in 1995 to 101,179 in 2003. An American Civil Liberties Union-sponsored paper, “Caught in the Net,” attributes some of this increase to women who are convicted on factors related to their men using or selling drugs.

Maybe it is an epidemic. Just look at the numbers! If the ACLU says it’s so, it must be so.

Jones’ plight demonstrates how women, even some who are very successful, can become victims by giving men money, jobs, a place to stay and then allowing them to be disrespectful and perhaps violent.

Let Lil’ Kim’s tragic example of victimhood be a lesson to all of us. WE ARE ALL LIL’ KIM!

Cross-posted at Six Meat Buffet

It’s official, the Donks love to lose!

Democrats officially elect Howard Dean as head of the DNC, finally acheive maximum failure.

Cross-posted at Six Meat Buffet

Mom made up tossed baby story

You may have heard the story earlier today about the good samaritan who witnessed a couple allegedly throw a 1-hour old baby out the window of a moving car near Ft. Lauderdale, Florida.

I’m glad to say that the story now has a happy ending.

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. (AP) - A woman who claimed to have rescued a newborn boy after he was thrown from a moving car was actually the child’s mother, fabricating the story to conceal her pregnancy, officials said Friday.

The woman, who kept her pregnancy a secret from her family and others, had planned to take the baby to authorities, Broward County Sheriff Ken Jenne said. She then built her story after seeing two people argue inside their car, he said; the baby was never thrown.

“It’s not as horrible as we first thought,” Jenne said. “The baby was never thrown out of a moving car. This is the case of a disturbed woman who gave birth and did not want to keep her child.”

The woman gave birth Thursday afternoon, and an hour later dropped him off at a Broward sheriff’s substation, telling authorities her tale of seeing the boy tossed out of the car, Jenne said.

The 38-year-old woman has not been charged.

“She has indicated that she does not want the child,” Jenne said.

This is a happy ending on two fronts: First, the baby was never actually thrown from a vehicle or anywhere else; and second, the woman, though disturbed, brought the baby to authorities. Even bringing the baby in under pretense is a good outcome for the baby. She could have just as easily thrown the baby out an apartment window and let it die in the alley.

I’m also glad to know that this mythical baby-throwing couple doesn’t exist, as that’s two more people I don’t have to wish a painful death upon.

Now we have to hope that the baby boy doesn’t get lost in the bureaucratic shuffle of the horrific Florida Department of Child Services. (Thanks, Hector)

Cross-posted at Six Meat Buffet

Lessons in Child-Rearing

Raisin’ up ignunt asses.

Lessons in parenting by Beverly Fisher.

If your child refuses to roll joints for you, please follow these disciplinary steps:

Step 1: Verbal scolding. If this fails, move to the next step.
Step 2: Time out. The child can use his time in “time out” to roll your joints. If that fails, move to the next step.
Step 3: Whipping with an extension cord. If this fails, move to the next step.
Step 4: Pelt your child with beer cans - but remember which ones you threw, because they could really fizz out if you don’t give them time to settle back down.

Cross-posted at Six Meat Buffet

Note: Beth has been kind enough to allow me to do some cross-posting while she takes care of some business, so I’ll be posting here for a few days - or until she evicts me. Hopefully I won’t drive away too many regular readers. - Preston