Paris | MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy

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Why is Everybody So Mean to Me

Beth!!! I just had to like come by for a minute because you are like my newest BFFAE (that’s forever And Ever - I made that up myself!). I’m getting a manicure and pedicure cause I have to like go to some parties tonite but I need to talk to you a minute cause I’m really really really really really REALLY upset. :heartbk:

Did you no that Nicole only did like 82 minutes in jail??? That’s like an hour and … lets see, an hour is like 50 minutes then you add whats after 50 so that would be … well, its less then like 2 hours! Nicole and me are BFF again but it still like hurt my feelings. Especially after I spent like $10,532.56 on baby gifts for her. I was going to like meet her outside when she got out of jail and have my people like present her with gifts. That would have been such a great photo op but she got out so quick I didn’t have time to like get over there. Its just not FAIR!

Then I find out that Linds is like pleading out and getting only like a few days in jail! I learned pleading out while I was like in the joint. I spent like 45 days in and couldn’t even get out when I told them I was like crazy! Its just not fair! :sob:

Mommy and daddy said it wasn’t fair and that I am a really a like nice person even though like everybody is really really really REALLY mean to me. They just don’t like know me. You can ask any of my friends I have like right now. Don’t ask my ex-friends cause they like lie. But my new friends all love me and I give them like lots of stuff.

Oh wait, :timeout: the Vietnamese girl doing my nails messed up. My manicurists wanted the night off. GAW!!!! Like how hard is it to be here when I like need my nails done!!! His wife’s having a baby or something and like THAT is supposed to leave my nails like RAGGED.

Ok, she fixed it so I was like telling mommy and daddy about how awful all this is and they said that they are just newvo reeche (that means they haven’t had like money for long you know like white trash with money like your friend ro, I don’t mean to like offend. Its just the like truth.). Then she said don’t worry because she will make sure that whoever runs against the judge that put me in jail wins in the next election. No. Matter. What.

GAAAAWWWWWW. Don’t ever let your manicurist take the day off when you have to go to 3 parties! This Vietnamese girl said she’s going to have to charge me like extra cause my feet are so big! I told her I was going to take my big foot and cram it up her minature ass.

Anyways, like I said, I’m really really really a nice person and no body seems to realize that. I love everybody and give them lots of stuff. Love flows from my like heart to the people who are around me and everybody who knows like me know it.

Okay, I feel like a LOT better now that I talked to you. You are going to be my BFFAE for a long long LONG time! I can tell cause you are like a really really REALLY good listener and I feel like so much better when I tell you about my troubles. Oh. And I’m going to invite Linds over for a party as soon as she’s out of rehab and I might even let her drive my benz, not my rolls though. One more time ought to like do it if you know what I mean! NO! I’m kidding, I wouldn’t like do THAT! Probably. Maybe. Giving her a party is the right thing to do and I’ll invite Amy and tell Amy to keep her from drinking or whatever they like you know DO!

All dry now. Gotta go and get this minature manicurist outta my house! I don’t have anything else on my mind so I’m going to like party.

XOXOXOXOXOXO
paris
~*~*~*~*~

You Bunch of Hypocrites

What a bunch of cry babies. Waaahhhhh!!!!

Get over it.

You think you own the airways? You don’t. We are fighting back. Its called equal opportunity. Its called fair air time … or whatever it is they call it. Ever hear of that? I know what happened to my radio show. I know it was a Zionist conspiracy carried out by McHitlerBushCo. I know they stopped people from listening when I was on air. I’m not stupid. I know what’s going on.

Now you are all upset that your bastion of perverted televised evil is being invaded by so-called liberals and your are having fantasies of seeing the only reasonable character on the show knocked off.

That’s all going to change now. No more people of Middle Eastern descent being stereotyped as terrorists. In fact, I think the bad guys need to be evangelical Christians on the show! No more guns. No more nukes. I will prove that the use of guns is not necessary to have an exciting action-packed show that takes down evil. The use of guns and violence on that show is appalling. I will prove that weapons of all kinds are useless against evil.

I don’t have a gun. I wouldn’t even use a knife to cut a steak if I ate meat, which I don’t. I don’t carry mace or any kind of weapon whatsoever. I would not feel safe if I did. I show people love and understanding and they don’t bother me.

In fact, people go out of their way not to bother me. They will walk on the other side of the street to keep from bothering me.

I am proof you don’t have to have guns to keep people away from you.

ro must poem nasty hurricane

nasty people
hate teh ro
i don’t like u either
hurricane coming
nasty hurricane
heads 2 mexico
nice name
i like name
dean as in howard
poor mexican ppl
where will they live
rethugs in congress does not help
the poor mexican ppl
does not give them place to live
they were there first
aztlan is their home
give them back aztlan
no more hurricanes hurt them
except if they live in new orleans
bush targets new orleans
with nasty hurricanes

A Self-Portrait for My New BFF!

HAAAYYYYY!!!!! I just like had to come buy and say HHHHIIIII to my new BFF cause she gave me her super sekret code so I could write stuff here when I have a minute between parties and stuff. I’m righting this rite now cause I just left a party that was like SOOO boring but they were like paying me to be there so they could get people to come to the party so I had to like stay for like two hours to be polite if you know what I mean. I did make the party more fun thats for sure cause I’m hot.

Current mood: EXCITED!!!! :wave:

The paparassee is following my rolls while I’m righting this cause they really really love me. BTW, I look fabulous tonite and I’m wearing a hot tiny gold dress from my own clothing line. I told you about my clothing line didn’t I? You can wear Paris! That’s SO hot!

Oh, I wanted to tell you that I can be hear like A LOT now that I have the super sekret code. That’s so HOT! I’m really like so glad that Beth gets to be my new BFF cause I red some of her blog and shes like really really smart and mommy and daddy said I needed to improve my image and find some new best friends that are more like us. I had one of my people call Ange’s people cause I thought she was kind of smart and daddy said that would be a place to start. She goes to a lot of really hot places and like gets kids and stuff. That’s her thing. I have a bunch of little bitty doggies so I thought we had a lot in common and stuff. I had my best assistant call her assistant cause I wanted her to know that I really meant I wanted to be new BFF and she said she was in Zeembarbway. I told my person to call her person again and tell her I could go to Zembarbuawy but the last time I was in China it was really really hard to get like even a hamburger and there wasn’t any ~~paparassee~~ ~~parporazi~~ picture takers following me. It was really really boring and I don’t like Chinese food that much so I think I’ll wait till she gets somewhere that’s not in China. Like somewhere with beeches and good food. I look a lot better on the beach than most other places. I know I look fabulous anywhere but you can wear a bikini at the beach.

That was like AGES ago and Ange’s people haven’t called my people back and so I’m thinking that’s a sign there is like t.r.o.u.b.l.e. at home, you know! Like why else wouldn’t she call me back! So I’m really super glad to have Beth as my new BFF. I’m so excited that I drew a super special self-portrait just for Beth. I autographed it and had it framed two! I have a life-size self-portrait I drew thats framed and hanging as the focal point when you walk into my living room. Every body says its great when they walk in. They all stop and look at it and are just like speechless! I wanted Beth to have one two but its not life-sized.

So mommy and daddy said that poppy Conrad might put me back in the will if I start acting like the rest of the family and do good and make better friends. Poppy Conrad said he was tired of seeing all of me (if you no what I meen) every time he turned around on the grocery store racks. I don’t know why he said that cause why would he be in the grocery store or on the racks? His people must be telling him but the ~~paparrazi~~ picture takers really really love me cause I’m hot. I’m so excited because I am a better person and helping other people and makeing better friends. Then Poppy Conrad will put me back in his will because I only do it all for other people and set a good example for all of my young fans!

Well, I just wanted to pop in and tell you whats on my mind and thats all that was on my mind. If something else like gets on my mind again I’ll come back and let you know.

Okay. Bye.

XOXO
Paris
~*~*~*~

ro must poem mean people suck

ro does not know
why mean wingnuts
make fun of ro
u do not know ro
confused, baffled
by insults 2 me
cannot figure it out
why ppl make fun of ro

ro must poem quitting

beth are 2 funny
quitting
ha ha ha
i am in ur blog
making ur posts
U can do nothing
run
hide
wingnut coward
off with U
pergressives win
ron paul in ‘08

My diarhee, who cares about ME?

F–k you commentor Joe. EVERYONE CARES!!!!!!1!!!!!1!!

Joe, I shi’ite gold, piss moleten platenum, and step on your point little pinhead every time I quish an aunt!!!

Mommykins, I’m cold. So cold. They have me in the haspitol. Sort of, it’s, like, the jail place, but with beds and needles and other sharp things.

I’m scared, mommykins. So scared. I can’t sleep mommykins, they took my vicodin. And my oxycontin. And my phenobaritol. And my qualludes (sp?).

1 of the nursesess said she can get me to sleep if I give her 15 cartons of Marlboros and Playgirl Playmaster Double Reverse Hummer 1500 Super Double Dong XP6000 SUX. Can you slip me some coin?

It’s so unfair, mommykins. What DIDI DO??? Why am I in the jail when the PRESIDENT got a DUI and he’s NOT HERE TOO?????

There picking on me mommy, and they hate me I know they do. JUST because I’m pretty. And famous and rich and beautiful and attractive and sexy and welthy and hot and popular and farkable and gorgeous and good looking and wonderful and excellent and oh God mommykins I AM SO MUCH BETTER THAN THEM!!!!!

I have to go, mommykins. Beulah says it’s time for nightly bath and what she(?) calls “our special time alone with the back end of a fifth of tequila.” We did this last night, and altho it felt good to be naked in front of another person again, oddly, I didn’t feel a thing.

Kiss tonkergong for me! I miss my cuddly ferret!

Like, Whatever

I won’t rite my diarrhee here anynore

Four, four ommcents?

DO YOU PPLZ NO WHO I AM???????????????

AND THE INSULTS 2??????

yOOU’LL GET BERRIED!!!

Sherrif! gte me my thong!

I have the vapors!!!

My Diarrhee

Thank you Beth for lettting me post here. Nobody seems ot like me anymore.

I going back to jail. I hve some thots Id like to excess on it.

OMFG who is the Sauer person?

Does he know WHO I AM!!!!!!

I’ll get you when i get out!!! You somofabitch!! You’ll never work in this town agin!!!!!!!!

And, and, THEY LET ME GET MY PITCHER TAKEN WITHOUT FUKIN MAKEUP!!!! And they maed me WEAR UNDERWEAR!!!!!!

Just you wait, bitch Lohan, he’ll get you too!!!!! And yout oo Nicole!!!! They coming for you!!!!!!

I love you and miss you Mommykins! Hugz to my tiny cheewawa too! Just becuzz I can’t remember your name don’t mean I don’t love youuuuuu!!!!

I love you too, all you little people!!!!!!!! Thanks for your support!!!!

:angel:

ro memorial day

ro does not post memorial day. ro does not honor hegemonic american imperialism.

ro post after memorial day, ro’s memorial day poem:

dead
dead dead dead
655,000 iraqi freedom fighters dead
all dead dying dead blood
blood to feed the bush of death
killing the dead
flags flying
oppressive flag oppressing the oppressor’s oppressed
perkin’s restaurant
hungry always hungry
giant american flag
oppressing me
can’t get super breakfast combo with
oppressive giant american flag oppressing me with its hateful gaze
crave sustenance
hugo save us
fidel is dying dead dying death
from the blood of oppression of the
hateful bush flag of oppression
killing them all
all people die from bush
except me
i thrive on bush
wet hairy bush
crave sustenance w/o the calories

ro must speak of idol

from me 2 u

i only supposed to post monday, but i must post a idol poem

supple, sensuous, silky
jordin
thighs win
eighteen soon, justifying drool on my chin
cleavage, then beavage, mmmm
blake, booked for the view, i eat twatwaffles 4 breakfast
just ask hasselbeck
steel does not melt fire
steely fire melty fire melt
melty steel, not melted by firey fire
they make steel in siberia, and alaska
so cold, cold, cold
steel made in cold
fire not melt
hot fire, cold steel, mix not
extreme WTC 7 makeover
from
collapsing buildings
to
controlled demolition
listen to the truthy truth
the truthers truth is the only truth
paid
to be
on the truthy view
2
day
or
2 morrow
depending on your time zone

hello, and a poem

ro here thx to beht for letting me post here on mondays. even tho shes a neofascist rethuglikkan.

i’m known 4 my poetry, i’m debuting my latest just for you

i had a dream
fifty foot pie
cherry, bluberry, hair, it does not matter i ate it all
gwbush, killing all the people
all the people in the world
everyone, dying
death
death dying
death dying death death
dying death death dying death death
everyones dead
dying or dead by death by gwbush killing them all
and the animals too
all dead by bush
bushes dead, dying from bush, who is human
the world is all dead dying death
pass the mashed potatoes plz

- ro

ro poem dday

imperialists invade
kill
kill kill kill til death kill
peaceful french ppl
all the french dead
for what?
sarkozy
likes u.s.
bush planned hitler
so u.s. puppet sarkozy could be
selected
not
elected
asian youths burn cars
go youths go
cars burning
burning
burning grill, hot burning grill
grill hot grill grilling large piece of cow
must feed now