MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy

Fun with Mug Shots! A special Sunday Edition of White Trash Wednesday

• Posted by Chris on June 28th, 2009 filed in Crime, Funny, General, White Trash Wednesday    

Ok, I’m still way burnt out on the serious political stuff. Yeah, yeah, I know. I was never that good with the political. I tried. Anyway, today, we are going to have a SPECIAL EDITION of White Trash Wednesday! I give you White Trash Wednesday, Special Sunday Edition: Fun with mug shots! We will cruise the Gaston Gazette and look at the mug shots from the weekend.

Here in North Carolina, we have our share of major rednecks. You can just hear the country music and the yeehaws. “here’s Uncle Joe, he’s moving kind of slow at the Junction”

Do the Palin glasses make me look smart too?

Now we also have our really cute ladies with the temper. These two hotties are charged with assault. Let’s get them a boxing ring with some mud and sell tickets!

Now this one in the red tank had a great weekend. On Friday, she assaulted someone and on Saturday she got drunk and started running around the neighborhood and was arrested again for drunk and disorderly. Sister, I want to party with you! Hey! She could take on the winner of the other 2 girls!

So, when you get arrested and you have no shirt, or are in PJ’s, it’s a 99% certainty that you’re a wife beater. Here are 3 of those “oh so tough they have to hit a woman to prove it” men:

This loser is actually a career actor. He’s always plays a townfolk in any western/redneck/mountain movie.

Yes, this dude in the hospital gown was charged with assault on a female.

Just look at the moustache. Is there any question of his charge? Or it’s accuracy? L-O-S-E-R!

Ok, so let’s go to the DWI winners and caption these mugs!

“Quick, take the wheel. I have a DWI already. They won’t arrest you! I’m going to kick his ass when I get out of here…”

Please let me go. PLEASE! I’ll do anything…

“I’m not drunk officer, I’m high. Oh, man, I’m so high. Wow, a unicorn!”

“Honey, the funniest thing happened to me on the way home from the bar!”

“Oh, Hi daddy! I’m going to need some money. And a lawyer too…”

“If I show them my boobs, will they let me go? I think I’ll just lean into the camera a bit. Can’t hurt!”

These three kings of Orient are arrested for…

If you said assault on a female, you’d be correct! Remember, shirtless means beater.

This next pair is in the category of “your family tree is a stump”. Yes, these next 2 are brothers, as if you couldn’t tell, and were arrested for drugs (gosh, no, really? Shocking!). Their names are Dustin and Justin. I guess like these two, their mom and dad weren’t too bright either. I think Thing 1 and Thing 2 would have been better.

Ok, this one was charged with “forced rape”. No comment.

These two were charged with prostitution and soliciting. I guess there’s a Viagra commercial there somewhere! “After I take Viagra, I am so ready, I offer money to every woman I see!!”

Here in North Carolina, we get our share of stars. Here’s Gary Bussey’s twin brother!

And finally, the winner of tonights white trash Wednesday, Sunday edition, this woman was charged with 10 different crimes. DWI, Posession, etc. The last one was public nudity when she did a strip for the officers before her mug shot, hoping that the entertainment would get them to let her go. As you can see by her expression the answer was “No dice”. Dang, she usually gets at least 20 for the lap dances and this one will have to be for free. However, all is not lost, the nudity charge was dropped when the DA said that the jail photo room was not public and therefore it had to be tossed.

So that completes this edition of white trash Wednesday, Sunday Special: fun with mug shots. I hope you enjoyed it. Here’s hoping we don’t find your picture here, or yes, it will get posted!