MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy

“If your opponent is quick to anger, seek to irritate him.”

Archive for May, 2009

• Wings/Penguins game 2

  • Posted by Chris on May 31st, 2009 filed in General, Sports
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Ok, we’re up and running!

• Wings-Penguins Game 1

  • Posted by Chris on May 29th, 2009 filed in General, Sports
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It’s on. Time for the last series!

Go Wings!

• Wings Hawks Game 5

  • Posted by Chris on May 27th, 2009 filed in General, Sports
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Pitt has punched their ticket. The Wings need to as well. Time to finish off Chicago.

• Obama Finds That Pick. . .

  • Posted by Lord Bitememan on May 26th, 2009 filed in Barack Obama, SCOTUS   Obama SCOTUS
  • 2 Comments »

Obama stated on the campaign trail that he would look for bench picks for the courts that had “empathy” for various groups.  In selecting Sonia Sotomayor, Obama established one thing, compassion for competant firefighters who qualify for well deserved promotions is not one of his prerequisites.  Hopefully Anthony Kennedy isn’t a douche who comes to the conclusion that a Title IX approach to affirmative action (eliminating programs and practices because you can’t achieve equality of results) is just fine by him.

• In Memorial

  • Posted by Chris on May 25th, 2009 filed in General, Support the Troops
  • 2 Comments »



Azul wiped the barrel of his rifle with his cloth. This was his ritual before starting. First wipe the gun down from barrel to butt. Next re-wipe from the butt to the barrel. Then clean each bullet individually before loading. His fellow soldiers laughed at him for this routine, but Azul was their best sniper. He had his ways and he stuck with them. Once he had finished loading, he set himself up in his position. A window ledge on the fourth floor of an abandoned building gave him the cover he needed. He had a great view of the troops as they walked down the street away from him. He waited for the signal that the others were ready. It came. He leveled the rifle and pulled the trigger on the first person he saw in his scope. The slug burned the air as it flew. It slammed into the back of Corporal Mark Johnson seconds before the shot’s sound rang out. He dropped in his tracks falling onto his back. He rolled over trying to drag himself but a second shot slammed through his hip, shattering the bone and ricocheting through his body. He screamed in agony and rolled back over to his back. Azul’s shots were the opening salvo in the ambush. The rest of his group opened fire and chaos broke out as Mark’s fellow Marines ducked for cover. They returned fire immediately in Azul’s direction, but Azul was gone from his spot. While Mark lay on his back, the ambush was continued around him as enemy troops converged on the Marine unit. The Marines spread out, pinned down by the oncoming troops. From where he lay, Mark could hear the battle. The radios lit up with calls for air cover and help. Bullets flew all around him, some close enough for him to hear as they whistled through the air. He heard an explosion to his side and struggled to see what was happening. He saw a wall of smoke and dust coming his way. He closed his eyes and held his breath as long as he could. He took a breath. The air was mostly clear. When he opened his eyes, they met the distant remains of someone from his unit. He couldn’t tell who. There was no face to recognize.

Panic set in and Mark’s mind raced. Was this it for him too? Would he live? He started to think of his family.
“Haley! Oh, God. Please, no. Haley. She has to have a daddy. She has to. I promised her I was coming home. I need to be there for her. Suzie needs help with her. I have to be there for them. Help. Someone.”
He focused his mind and tried to move. He couldn’t. His chest convulsed with the effort and he coughed. A few drops of blood flew out with his cough. He knew that was bad. He started to pray.
“God, please take care of my little girl. Please help my wife. Get them through Lord. Get th…” His prayer tapered off as shock took his system.

Frank Mullix was the first to reach Mark. They had been friends for years since they met in basic training. The sergeant looked at his friend.
“Oh! shit! Mark! NO! Come on. MARK! Look at me!”
Mark rolled his eyes to his friend then lost focus and looked away. He was barely conscious and had very little cognition.
“Come on buddy. You’ve got to stay with me. Look at me. Don’t look away”
Mark forced out words.
“Su… Suzie… Who… Who… will care… for… for her and…”
“You will! You’re going to make it. Now come on! Hold on! Stay with me! Look at me!”
Something exploded behind Frank showering them with shrapnel. A piece stuck Frank in the arm. He cussed out and looked at it. Nothing major. He looked back at Mark. One piece was sticking out of his cheek. Frank pulled it out. Mark groaned.
“Come on Mark. I’ve called for an evac. The cavalry is coming. Just hang on”
Mark made no reply. He could still see, but he was fading fast.



Half a world away and months later, a man named Andy carried a plate of steaks out his front door. He opened the preheated grill on his front porch. Billows of smoke rose from the greasy racks over the gas flames. He set the steaks on the racks. Sounds of searing filled the air. A few tufts of fire danced through the rails of the rack. Andy’s house was at the end of a dead end street that overlooked a cemetery. It was a very quiet place to live. Just as he liked it. He closed the cover over the meat and went back into his house to get a beer. As he dug through the case in the refrigerator he heard a loud cheering on the TV. He walked back into the front room to see what happened and check the score. While he was fixated on the game, smoke started floating through the room. He snapped out of his TV trance and ran to the grill. He opened the top and smoke poured out. A breeze carried it through his front door and into his house. He rolled his eyes. “Thanks” he said to his grill. “I swear, one day, I am going to clean you. I promise.” As the smoke cleared, he looked up and noticed a single figure sitting in front of a headstone. It was a woman in a pink dress with flowers and lacing stitched over it. From what Andy could see, she was talking to the headstone and tracing the name on the granite with her finger. Occasionally she would stop tracing and start shouting at it. After she shouted herself out, she would slump crying and start tracing the name again. He could hear her when she yelled. Her voice was broken with tears and anguish. Andy felt an overwhelming empathy for her. Every time she cried, his heart broke. She needed help. She needed someone to do something. He didn’t know what to do or to say, but he decided he was going to do or at least say something. He turned off the flames on the grill, opened the top and walked off his porch. His mind raced with what to say. As he walked up, she caught him out of the corner of her eye and ignored him.
Undaunted, Andy approached and stopped a few feet from her.

“Excuse me. Are you ok?”
She didn’t look up at him.
“Do I look ok?” snapped the answer, “Just leave me alone”
Andy looked over at the headstone. He read the name.
“Did you know him?”
She glanced at him and rolled her tear reddened eyes and forced a sigh.
“No. I just like to cry at headstones. Ok? Just go away.”

Andy’s thoughts spun. This was not going according to plan. Different strategy.
“Can I get you something? I’ve got beer, sodas. I’m cooking steaks. I’ll gladly share.”
The woman slumped over.
“No. I just want to. be. left. a-lone… Please.”
Andy walked closer and sat down a foot away.
“I think the problem is that you have been left alone. Maybe you need someone to be there for you. I think the last thing you need right now is to be left alone.”
“I don’t need anyone. Or anything. Especially from you.”
“Ok, then I’ll just sit here with you.”

The woman looked over at him. He met her eyes and tried to put on a nice face. She snorted a half laugh.
“What?” Andy asked.
“Your ‘I care’ look.”
“What about it? I do care”
“You look like a puppy begging for a scrap”
“Gee thanks. But if it gets you talking, I’ll take it. I’m not too good at this”
“Obviously.” The woman paused. “What kind of soda?”
“Huh?”
“What kind of soda do you have?”
“Oh geez, I can’t remember. Coke. I think. Maybe some diet. I think I have some orange too.”
“Orange would be nice if you have it. Otherwise, Coke.”
“Why don’t you come over and sit with me. “
“I’m not really in a sociable mood.”
“You don’t have to say anything. Just sit a while and sip some orange soda. But it is better than sitting on ant hills screaming at a head stone”
She jumped up quick looking for ants.
“Ahhh shit! Where are the ants? I hate ants.”
“Ants?”
“Yeah, the ant hills you were talking about”
“Oh, I meant figuratively. Sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you.”

Andy looked at her dress. A sleeveless sundress with thick shoulder straps. The dress had a slit that went most of the way up her legs. Near the bottom, a gold pin sealed the ends together.

“That’s a beautiful dress. What is that pin from?”
“My husband gave me that when we met. I was walking down the sidewalk after having some pictures taken and I was having trouble with it.”
“Pictures! Wow, are you a model?”
She paused. “Do I look like a model?”
“Yeah, kind of”
She sighed. “No, not a model. Anyway, I was having trouble with it and he walked up and asked if he could help. I told him only if he had a needle and thread and I called him a Boy Scout. He was a Marine and had these Boy Scout looking pins on. “
“Boy Scout pins?” Andy asked.
She grinned. “He hated when I called them that. Anyway, he takes this one off and uses it to pin my dress shut.”
“Isn’t that against the rules or something?”
“I asked him that too. He said not really. I asked him ‘how will I get this back to you?’ He told me that I could give it back to him when I got home. That the pin I had said I was now a Marine and that he had to stay with me because a Marine never leaves a fellow Marine in trouble.”
“HA! I have to use that one sometime. That’s good”
“Yeah, it worked. We were married 4 months later.”
“He sounds fun. Come on over. You can tell me some more about him. I’m Andy”
“I’m Jennifer. Nice to meet you Andy. And thanks but I don’t want to intrude”
“It’s not a burden, Jennifer. Besides, it’s not intruding when you’re invited. Come on, please.”
Jennifer walked along side Andy to his front porch. He turned the grill back on and walked her to the table.



Air support was on its way to Frank’s and Mark’s position at full speed. Around them, automatic fire sounded off as bullets flew toward unseen foes. Return fire came from different directions. Occasionally, a bullet would land near Frank and Mark. But that was less and less as time went on. The Marines were repelling the attack and had the enemy on the run. Frank was still sitting with Mark, trying to keep him going until the evac could get there.
“Come on buddy. Hold on. Help is almost here.”
Frank tried to think of something that would help. He thought of their trouble in basic training.
“Do you remember Trisha? The DI’s daughter.”
Mark forced a small smile as best he could.
“But we didn’t know until we were flirting with her that she was. Stupid tease waited until her daddy was right behind us before telling us to get lost. Remember that Mark? We spent the rest of the training with the code words ‘the stupid bitch set me up’! How many toilets did we have to clean?”
Mark coughed again. More blood spray. Frank knew it was dire. Odds are, Mark wasn’t going to make it.
“Come on buddy. I don’t want to be your angel. If you think I’m sitting on a plane with your corpse in the hold, you are wrong. Now hang on.”
Mark tried to talk but the noise and the softness of Mark’s voice made it impossible to hear. Frank leaned in. “I can’t hear you, what?”
“Su…zie, H-Haley. Take care of them for me”
“No way bro. You’re going to be there for them. Come on”
Frank reached into Mark’s front pocket. He pulled out a picture of Suzie, Haley and Mark at a picnic that Mark kept with him. He held it in front of Mark’s eyes.
“Look at this. Hang on for them. Everyone has a reason to die for. YOU have 2 reasons to live for. Hold on. Hang on. WHERE THE HELL IS THAT EVAC?”
Seeing his family made it worse for Mark. He was looking at the very people he felt he was betraying. He looked away but when he did, Frank moved the picture back into his sight. He was not going to die seeing the faces of those he would leave behind. He closed his eyes.
Four shots rang out at close range. Mark forced his eyes open. He saw Frank duck a bit and scream for help again. Six marines ran past and opened fire. The air support was arriving and driving the enemy back towards the marines. They opened fire and started cutting them to pieces. Bodies fell in the street and around the buildings while some living enemy troops slipped back into hiding. In the distance, blades of a helicopter could be heard chopping the air. Frank looked back down to Mark.
“Chopper is here. You’re going to be ok now. Just a few minutes and they’ll be working on fixing you in the hospital. Just hang on. You’re not going to die!”
Mark could hear the chopper too. He forced his eyes open. Maybe, just maybe, he could hold on. He refocused on the picture that he held. Suzie, Haley. He would make it for them.
Frank saw his friend start to fight back.
“That’s it buddy. You can do it. You’re almost there. Just a little longer and you’ll…”
Mark watched through tunneling vision as the side of Frank’s head exploded. His lifeless body slumped over on top of Mark as the picture flew away in the breeze. The last bit of life left Mark’s body. Another casualty. Another broken family. More broken hearts.



Andy sat next to Jennifer. She sipped on the Coke he had given her.
“Sorry I didn’t have any orange. I can get you some if you want. The store is right up the street.”
“No, thank you, Coke is fine. ”
“The steaks should be done soon. I always make several. You’re welcome to some”
“Thank you, but I don’t feel much like eating.”
“So, um, so what happened to your husband?”
“Frank was killed in an ambush. He refused to leave his dying friend and as the battle was ending, the same sniper that killed Mark, killed him.”
“Did you know Mark?”
“Yeah, we knew them for a few years. Don’t have much contact now. Just a call every now and again.”
“I’m so sorry. How do you cope?”
“I don’t. I drank. A lot. I lost our daughter to his parents since I was so gone, I didn’t even show up to court. Then I lost it and tried to end it. I failed and spent months in a mental ward. Now, I scream at his grave. I got off easy. Marks daughter was a teenager. She found comfort in every boys bed she could. No one was there for her. Then she got hooked on drugs. Suzie is still trying to put those pieces together. No one ever thinks of us. They give us a flag and a salute. A freaking flag. That pays the electric bill. Oh, yeah and… ”
She paused. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to go off”
“No, it’s ok, I understand. Go right ahead and go off. I’ll get you another Coke and get the steaks ready to eat.”
He leaned forward and looked straight into her eyes.
“Someone is here for you now. I’ll do everything I can for you.”



The spirit of Frank Mullix rested on a tombstone bearing his name. He watched across a lonely street as his wife on Earth ate with someone he never met. Strangers helping strangers cope. Every Memorial Day we remember the Franks and the Marks. But behind them are the Suzies, the Haleys and the Jennifers. As you remember those that fell today, please remember those that are left to pick up the pieces. There are organizations like Soldiers Angels or the Children of Fallen Soldiers Fund or the Fallen Soldiers Fund. Please help these kind and generous people as they try to help out those who live with the sacrifices our women and men in uniform make for us. The soldier isn’t just a person who fights for their country. The soldier is a family that lives and dies on news of a war that they are thrust in. A spouse now alone. A child with one less parent. A father or mother mourning a child taken from them too soon.

Dear Heavenly Father,
Lord, today we remember our soldiers lost in battle. Please bless our fallen heroes, Lord. Their willingness to run into a battle that would have most of us sobbing in fear is what keeps our country strong and stops the evil that would consume this world. Their selfless sacrifices are the price for our freedom. But Lord, they are not the only ones to bear that sacrifice, so please Lord, bless and keep close the ones who have to go on without them. Give them the strength to carry on when all hope seems lost. Be with them when the darkness is so great, that only your light can shine through. Send them angels and helpers to carry them along and to let them know that they are not alone. That you and we are still with them. Keep them well until they are reunited with their love ones in your kingdom.

Amen.

Memorial Day, 2009.

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• Wings Hawks Game 4

  • Posted by Chris on May 24th, 2009 filed in General, Sports
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2-1 Detroit. In the other series, it’s Pitt over Carolina 3-0. Detroit needs to wrap this up to stop Pitt from getting rested while waiting.

• Aunt of the year

  • Posted by Chris on May 24th, 2009 filed in General, WTF, Why is this guy still alive?
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Wow, this is unreal. Two sisters decide to go shopping at Wal-mart. One of them has a 2 month old baby. No biggie, the carts hold the carriers pretty good. So they go shopping and the mother of the baby has to go to the bathroom. She leaves the baby with her sister and heads off. Now, I know exactly what you’re thinking. You’re thinking the same thing the aunt is thinking. “Hey hey! Time to shoplift a few things from the evil Wal-mart.” Off to the races she goes. Grabbing some of this or some of that and stuffing it who knows where. Then she gets caught. After all, it is a crime and the one crime they monitor people for. So, you’ve just been caugh shoplifting while watching your sister’s baby. What are you going to do now? “I’m going to Disney!”. Well, maybe she did. Because they are looking for her and she’s disappeared. You see, after the security guard tried to stop her, she threw the baby at the guard. That’s right, she threw the baby, carrier and all, at the guard. The baby deflects off the guard and slams into the floor. Wal-mart is a heavily shopped store so this didn’t happen unnoticed. A passerby decides to step in to help the baby. Unfortunately, the aunt got to the baby first and hurled the baby at the passer by. She then fled the scene. Yep, Aunt of the year. How much you want to bet that this will be a hot topic at the next reunion? Check out the news station video for coverage. When mom gets out of the bathroom, it takes her a bit to find what is going on. The baby was knocked unconscious due to hitting the concrete floor twice. They got the baby to the hospital and were looking for the aunt.

• Wings Hawks Game 3

  • Posted by Chris on May 22nd, 2009 filed in General, Sports
  • 1 Comment »

• AI FINALE! FINALLY!

  • Posted by Chris on May 20th, 2009 filed in American Idol, General
  • 2 Comments »

Yeah, it’s over. It’s about time! Let’s heckle one last time!

• AI Finale or RedWings game 2

  • Posted by Chris on May 19th, 2009 filed in American Idol, General, Sports
  • 1 Comment »

Take your pick. The top chat is the AI finale. The bottom one is the wings.

Wings game here!

• Wings-Hawks game 1

  • Posted by Chris on May 17th, 2009 filed in General
  • 1 Comment »

Let’s go WINGS!!!

• um, a pole dancing competition?

  • Posted by Chris on May 16th, 2009 filed in General, Video, WTF
  • 1 Comment »

There is not nudity in the below video but she is in a bikini. So, probably not good for work viewing. This is Felix. Felix is a pole dancer. Well, that’s what they call it. Did you know there’s a national competition for these things? They have competitions for everything. Anyway, the purpose of a pole dance is to be sexy, but when this woman is holding herself on the pole just by her legs, all I can think is, go to bed with her and she’ll cut you in half. It’s not so much a stripper dance as it is the Mrs. Charles Atlas body builders trying to be hot. Call me crazy, but this pole dance is more a gymnastics routine than a seduction. Yeah, yeah, I know. Slow goings on a Saturday evening.

• Funny Crud for a Saturday

  • Posted by Chris on May 16th, 2009 filed in General
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I don’t remember who I am stealing this from. It was either Rodger and Curmudgeonly and Skeptical or Sondrak. Someone had it. Now we do too.

• Do you really trust that government of yours?

  • Posted by Chris on May 14th, 2009 filed in General, Politics, Terrorism, The War, WTF
  • 6 Comments »

UPDATE:

Ok, well, that’s interesting. Thank you foxfier. I googled the crap out of this after hearing the local radio dude talk about it and missed that fox article. I went right for the Raliegh WRAL station’s account and obviously there is a hell of a lot more to this. Most articles were blog posts that ranted like I did. This is why we need 2 sources… So, I stand corrected. I still hate the patriot act. It is crap, but in this case, it’s not the patriot act causing Ashton’s issues. If he did what they say, then it’s fryin’ time.

———————————————————————————————-

I don’t like the patriot act. Any legislation that is passed in an emergency when emotions are high is going to be a piece of crud. Plus, the fact they have to disguise what it is, a grab on freedoms, by calling it the patriot act should tell you all. Disagree and you not a patriot. Well, I despise it.

You see, it’s one thing to give unending power to the government when you trust the people in charge. But we watched while Bill Clinton used the IRS and other government branches to go after his political enemies or anyone who became a nusance. You can trust your guy with power, sure. But eventually, your guy won’t be the one wielding that power.

Today’s I hate the patriot act comes in the form of Ashton Lundeby of Oxford North Carolina. Supposedly, Ashton Lundeby made a bomb threat. The FBI stepped in and invoked the patriot act and Ashton Lundeby has disappeared. A dozen federal agents attacked the house that Ashton was living in and after tearing it apart found nothing to convict him with. Didn’t matter. The patriot act was invoked and off to another state he went. He’s “being held” in a juvey hall in Indiana. His mom has not been allowed any sense of reasonable contact with him. He has not been formally charged. He has not had a hearing. He is not being allowed a lawyer. Oh, meet 16 year old Ashton.



Yeah, a real scary one Ashton is. This country didn’t need the patriot act for over 200 years, it doesn’t need it now. A few minor adjustments to the laws at the time (the Gorelick wall for one) could have stopped 9/11. What we have now is the FBI was wrong and they don’t want to admit it. So, hold the kid until he’s 18 then send him to the new Gitmo that Obama is signing off on. I was wondering if the ACLU would step in, but since the FBI is now Obama’s and not Bush’s, I somehow doubt they will care about civil liberties. We need to kill the patriot act and send Ashton back home where he belongs. This is not what it was for. It should not be allowed to be misused again.

• Wings Game 7 against Anaheim

  • Posted by Chris on May 14th, 2009 filed in General
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Ok, this is more of a speciality post between LB and I, but anyone can join in! Make sure you use your comment name or real name so we know who you are!