Sheer terror and panic
- Posted by Chris on November 29th, 2008 filed in General, Pop Culture, WTF
My son and I went to the Red Wings game Friday night at the Joe Louis Arena in Detroit. We parked in the Joe Louis Arena garage and the interesting thing about that place is all the rows are on angles and intersect with the previous row in a couple places. So you can be walking down row 7 and the up ramp on row 6 will criss-cross with it and you can easily step from one to the next. You can get crossed up pretty quick in there.
We were leaving and made the climb up the stairs to level 7 where our van was. Well, at least that’s what we thought. We walked around a bit and no van. So back to the stairs we go. Up another level. Level 7 again. How the heck did that happen? So out we go again in search of the van. I look down a row and see what looks like my van. Here it is. Take a few steps and nope. Not here. Graham sees the level we’re supposed to be on and let’s go of my hand and says “over here daddy” and steps across to level 6. I yell to him and make a bee line straight to the opening where I am to cut him off but it’s the up ramp. He’s on the down ramp. By the time I switched direction and went back, he was gone.
At first, it’s annoyance. I yell his name a couple times. No answer. He’s playing a trick on me again. He always does that. We’ll be in Wal-mart and he’ll slip away when I reach for something and hide under a clothing rack and it takes the “take everything away from you” threat before he shows up. Not this time. Threats don’t work. Now it sets in. He’s lost. Stomach twists. Heart drops. Panic.
I have been in car accidents when a wall of hurt was coming my way. I have had databases crash with important information and had the tape backup say “tape unreadable” meaning no database was forthcoming and my job was about to be terminated. I have walked into a room where I knew my wife was going to deliver a world of hurt on me, but none of that even comes close to the feeling of panic and helplessness that comes from this. So now I am running. Screaming his name. I hear a daddy and whirl around and run to it. Nothing there. I go down a slope. Jerk number 1 is here in his car in line to go out. Every time I yell out for Graham, he yells “what” in a kid voice, basically mocking me. Even after I go up the next slope, I can still hear him doing it. On the next slope I see jerks number 2&3. Two ladies who ask if I’ve lost my car. No, I’ve lost my son. He’s 9 and he… They walk away laughing. I cannot believe the number of “jerks” I ran into. No one offered to help. Most made a joke comment and walked away.
A couple people helped when I asked. They looked around for a few moments but had to go on their way. One other helped in her own way. She had her stereo blasting while I was calling for him. She noticed me and turned it down so I could hear him. She was in the line of cars moving or she would have stopped to help, I’m pretty sure of that. But for the most part people had a good laugh at the missing child and panic stricken dad.
I finally found a lady who was pushing an empty wheel chair and asked her. She worked there and radioed security who sprang into action. It had been at least 20 minutes since he was gone. It would be another 20 or so before we found him. The garage was 90% empty by then. I decided that I would go all the way to the bottom and walk up. When I got to the bottom, I found a security person and they told me they had him. Panic over. After some paperwork and some profuse thank yous to the great JLA garage security staff, I had my teary eyed son back. I tried to act all “son you’re in a heap of trouble” and all, but couldn’t. I was just too thankful to have him back. Needless to say, instead of just holding his hand like I had been, I had my arms wrapped around him on the way to the van. We sent up a couple of thank you prayers and called mom to reassure her and were on our way.
So why am I telling you this? I don’t know. Probably because I left all my political notes back in NC and thus have nothing else. Also to tell the story of how calloused people have become. I don’t expect people to just drop everything to help. They have lives. I understand. But making jokes? Laughing and walking away? Yelling out when I do so if Graham called me, I couldn’t hear him? What the hell have we become and how did we get there? How many people saw a crying little boy and turned their backs? How many people saw a screaming dad and walked away? I really have no real idea how long this lasted. Time stops in this case, but that little boy walked around screaming for daddy, tears streaming down his face and no one, NOT ONE PERSON, stopped to help him.
I fear what we have become as a society and where we are heading. How did we get to this? I wish I knew and I wish I knew what to do to turn it around. Anyway, have a good weekend. I think I’ll take my son to a movie today. At least there I don’t have to park in a parking garage!
Carl Andrews says:
Society is close to collapse.
When a Wal-Mart worker dies so people can get Black Friday bargins, what has the world come to?
Glad to hear your son was OK.
Beth says:
Oh. My. God.
….
Seriously, I have no words.
I’m so glad he is okay, but what you went through is nothing short of pure hell.
I can only say, I would like to think that wouldn’t happen here or in NC - that those people are just uncivilized animals in Detroit (and I suspect there’s more than a grain of truth in that), but seriously…what the fuck is wrong with people???
GlenF says:
Lord Chris.
My 4 year old son darted off at our local Fair, and in seconds my pulse was hammering, nostrils flared, and my pupils dilated. I told a complete stranger “oh my God, I can’t find my boy!”and his only question was “what’s he wearing, what’s he look like?” I was in a crowd, and upon hearing my son’s name, A number of people scattered, calling him. When a shaved headed, wifebeater clad teen grabbed my arm, I was so gutshot with terror over losing my son I didn’t even try to pull away. He pointed and asked if a boy was my son. My boy had walked up to a woman that “looked like a mommy” and asked her for help. The boy that grabbed me was her son. I gave him my ride tickets. I felt like giving himmy old truck.
I sorry your experience was so different.
raz0r says:
Wow. That is a parents worse nightmare. So glad that everything turned out well.
Sunday Afternoon 48 fl. oz. of Crystal Light Lemonade - MissWisabus.com says:
[...] If you weren’t already aware, most people are jerks. [...]
Liberty Girl says:
Every single day the words “I hate people,” come out of my or Mister Liberty Girl’s mouth. I suppose the only hope we have at all is to be a better example to these steaming retards.
Glad everything turned out ok for you, despite the arseholes.
kyledeb says:
I’m writing this because you are on Citizen Orange’s blogroll. I’m looking to keep only those on who are in touch with me so if you could please write me at kyle at citizenorange dot com, I would appreciate it.
Chris says:
Thank you everyone. I appreciate the words. I agree Beth, I think in NC it would have been different, but I don’t know.
Detroit wasn’t always like that. Back in the day. Makes me wonder when the south and the small towns will follow.
Caleb says:
Man, Chris. I can’t even imagine the pure terror… I’m so glad you got him back.
spacemonkey says:
Wow. Too bad there’s never time to give people the skull cracking they deserve in times like that.
Lord Bitememan says:
That’s pretty bad. I haven’t been to the Joe lately, but that’s a pretty discouraging sign if that’s the level it’s gotten to. The sad part is, I can sort of picture in my head how the whole thing went down. So, maybe it’s not so far beyond belief. I think there’s a bit more to it than just jack-assery, when there’s a lost kid and you try and frustrate efforts like that, that’s where you start crossing into criminal negligence. But, personally, I think the internet has played a big part in this whole deterioration. It’s not just the “be an ass” mentality that pervades things, but people have started to see the same sense of anonymity in big cities that they see on the net, and that’s leading a lot to behave in the same fashion. I don’t think the small towns will ever get this way. . . people there know each other, and it’s too hard to be an ass to people you know. But, southern big cities probably won’t be immune.
Anyhow, Chris, I’m glad to hear your family is okay. And, hey, if you’re still up in the D, let me know, maybe we can meet up or something.
Chris says:
Hey LB, I’m back home now. Next time, I’ll drop you a line. We’ll hit a Pistons game or something.
Redneck Diva says:
When my oldest daughter was barely 2 she wandered out of our backyard while we were picking up pecans. We weren’t in a crowd of people, there was actually no one around, but still…that sheer panic and desperation was there. “She’s a baby and she’s wandering outside in the freezing cold and I had let her wander and oh my gosh what if we don’t find her?” All those things kept screaming in my head. She’s 12 now, but to this day the panic I felt is still very real. Turns out, she has gone to her Grammy’s house next door, knocked and asked if she could play video games. We found her curled up in her uncle’s lap, warm, happy and safe.
I’m so sorry you were all but kicked in the kneecaps in such a moment of desperation. No parent should have to feel that and no human being should act the way those around you that day did.
Janette says:
Chirs, I’m so glad that everything turned out okay and so sorry that you had such a bad experience with all those people.
I’d like to think that nothing like that could happen here (smallish city in Florida) but I can see things heading that way. I think it’s a combination of cities getting larger and a disconnect with our families/communities. I mostly blame TV and the internet for the disconnect. Like you, I’m afraid of where things are headed.
~ShyAsrai~ says:
awfully!! glad no harm came to your son but sorry to make this rather harsh observation…
as a mother of 4 rambunctious heathens, i spent a dozen years or so counting heads.
never did a child of mine over the age of hand-holding EVER get it into their tiny little minds that ‘darting off’ was an option.
the safety issues of that situation are just that urgent that my kids knew that if ever there was a time Mother would guarantee the application an old-fashioned spanking, that would be the one. guaranteed.
it only ever took once with each kid. and no, i didn’t give a hoot if my kids were afraid of my wrath.
a little wrath goes a very long way. lol