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Archive for June, 2008

Obama: Investigate Bush’s role in Iowa Floods

(BOAP) Cedar Rapids, Iowa.

A defiant Barack Obama lashed out against President Bush and what he called the failed policies of his administration. “I heard the terrible news about the barricades breaking and I am beside myself with sorrow for those who have lost everything. I bring a message of hope to those who have none and change for those who need it. At this time I think congress needs to conduct full hearings into what this administration has done to make this flood happen and to cause the barricades to fail.”

When pressed for specifics Senator Obama listed off a laundry list of investigative needs.

“Not only did this administration do nothing to stop this, they actively encouraged it. This was caused by global warming and could have been prevented if the administration had purchased carbon offsets to offset the pollution from that illegal war and occupation in Iraq. A war that I voted against, by the way. If he had just planted some trees and sent some ovens to poor countries where they are burning wood to cook, this would have been prevented.”

The Senator then railed against the Bush administration’s ties to the sand industry.

“The other crime here is that this president has not hired one single federal sand inspector despite my requesting he do so over the last several months. He has been too cozy with Big Sand and it’s time for a change. I will hire hundreds of new sand inspectors to ensure that our sand is made of the highest quality and I will use a windfall profits tax on Big Sand to fund it”.

When asked when he had made the request for inspectors, Senator Obama mentioned several off the record meetings that he wished he had proof of. He mentioned that since there is no proof, we will have to take his word for it. Having covered for him enough that there is no record of his ever telling a single lie in his entire life, it is expected that we can make people believe him this time too. When someone mentioned that sand is gathered from the desert and not created, Senator Obama dismissed the loser reporter as a shill for Big Sand.

The great senator continued: “Earlier today, I had heard that Vice President Cheney had giant ice bergs flown in from the Arctic Circle to add to the flood waters. Even though there is no proof, the charge demands full investigation. I will not allow ice bergs to be flown without carbon offsets and great care for polar bears and seals.”

When asked why giant ice bergs were used the senator again mentioned the administrations questionable and diabolical ties to the sand industry.

“If the barricades break, the people have to buy more sand. It’s a payoff to his friends in big sand and his oil friends foreign countries. He has allowed shipments of substandard sand to be imported from countries in the Middle East when we could be bagging sand from America. It needs to be investigated and when a link is found, they need to be impeached, removed and jailed.”

When asked why the administration would do this, Senator Obama noted that the hardest hit areas were largely African American. “He hates black people. Plain and simple. All Republicans do.” Chris Matthews who was in the room with the Senator could be heard agreeing “They were so black. So poor”.

When a heretic reporter mentioned the fact that there was fewer than 3 percent black people in the population, the omnipotent Senator Obama had him tased and removed from the room.

When another blasphemous reporter questioned how ice bergs could be flown in the summer and how the Vice President could have flown them since he had no pilot’s license and was being checked by doctors when the alleged ice bergs were being flown, the Senator retorted “Hey, I’ve answered like 3 questions already. I’m done. I said it, he did it and that’s it. I’m Barack Obama. You worship me and that’s all you need to know.” and left the room. Everyone kneeled as he left.

The Bush Administration was not sought out for comment because it wasn’t necessary as they would only deny it.

This report filed by the Barack Obama Associated Press.

Come on, you know it is going to happen soon…

YouTube funny and WALL-E

The first comes from our favorite military badgirl, Risawn. Visit her here and often!

Young Hillary Clinton. And the girl pulls off Hillary so well.

Movie Review:
Wall-E: Fantastic. I feared the preachy enviro-message going in, but, it wasn’t preachy in the least. I really think Pixar is physically incapable of making a bad movie. It is one home run after another with them and this is no different. Go see it. Take the kids without fear of language, violence, sex or preachy stupidity. If you have kids, this will be a DVD in the showcase for you. I don’t know if I put it above Nemo, but it’s darn close. It’s well worth the bucks. If I had one disappointment, it was that they had no “ocean scene”. In a lot of the movies that Pixar makes, they have one scene that they basically say “animators go to town”. In Nemo it was the ocean scene where they were going to school and later when they were in the whale. The showed some incredible animated footage. In Cars it was when they were going on the highway through the empty country side. But in this, I expected to see a really cool space scene in nebulas and planets and all but it never really happened. It looked like it was about to happen, just as Wall-E left Earth, but it didn’t amount to much. It was good, but I was hoping for more. Still, this is one to see over and over, and with a 6 and 9 year old, I will see it over and over…

Obamalot!

Well, TekTak F. Mechanoid at the Moxaragon Group caught wind of my Throw Another One Under the Bus and decided to show me how it is done. They have been doing this longer than I and are better at it than I am. So, I humbly bow and present their latest creation: “Obamalot“. Enjoy!

what use is the un?

None at all, if this piece is any indication. And it is.

The war against free speech is advancing rapidly: Associated Press reported Thursday that “Muslim countries have won a battle to prevent Islam from being criticised during debates by the UN Human Rights Council.” Council President Doru-Romulus Costea explained that religious issues can be “very complex, very sensitive and very intense…This council is not prepared to discuss religious matters in depth, consequently we should not do it.” Henceforth only religious scholars would be permitted to broach them.

Another one under the bus

I wish I could take full credit for this, but it’s actually the combination of 2 people. First, our good friends at the Moxaragon group are always making new songs to the beat of the current politics so while I was wanting to do the same, I couldn’t think of a good one. Visit them though. The latest post are Obama’s Seals that didn’t make it. The alternative lifestyle seal was hysterical. Anway, back on point, I was trying to think of a song and Martin had that post titled Another Distraction Bites the Dust and well, hey, here came the idea. So to thanks Martin and Moxaragon I present to you “another one under the bus” sung to Queen’s Another One Bites the Dust. Enjoy:

Obama’s bus comin’ down the street
The machine is ready to go
Then you became a problem
So out of here you go
Are you ready
Are you ready for this
Are you hanging on the edge of your seat,
Out of the doorway you will fly
Out into the street (yeeaahhhhhhh)

(bass: bump bump bump)
Another one under the bus
(bass: bump bump bump)
Throw another under the bus
Racist grandma’s gone
Reverend Wright is gone
I tossed them under the bus
Hey, they weren’t who I knew
So I tossed them under the bus.

How do you think we’re gonna get along
Without you when you’re gone?
I’ll bleed you for everything you have
And toss you when I’m done
Under pressure,
I run and hide
You know I can’t take the heat
When you become a problem
I’ll toss you to the street (yyyeeeeaaahhhhhhh)

(bass: bump bump bump)
Another one under the bus
(bass: bump bump bump)
Throw another under the bus
And Ayers is gone
And Rezco’s gone
I tossed them under the bus
Hey, they weren’t who I knew
So I tossed them under the bus.

There are many ways you can disown a man
And kick him when he’s down
You know I’ll even divorce my wife
If she don’t close her mouth
The press saves me,
From McCain
Cause you know I can’t take his heat
Out of the doorway the problems fly
As I toss them from their seat (yyyeeeeaaahhhhhhh)

(bass: bump bump bump)
Another one under the bus
(bass: bump bump bump)
Throw another under the bus
And Pflager’s gone
And Odinga’s gone
I tossed them under the bus
Hey, if you aren’t who I knew
I’ll toss you under the bus.

2nd amendment fun

The Supreme Court today affirmed the meaning of the 2nd Amendment, which was obvious to everyone but lawyers and liberals. And liberal lawyers.

That’s not the best part though. The best part is the reaction of the likes of Nancy Pelosi, Richard Daley, and, first up, Barry teh Obamateur™.

Obama said if elected president, he would uphold the rights of gun owners, but he said: “I know that what works in Chicago may not work in Cheyenne. We can work together to enact common-sense laws, like closing the gun show loophole and improving our background check system, so that guns do not fall into the hands of terrorists or criminals.”

Sorry, fella, but the USSC seem to have just shot that piece of liberal obfuscation down - Cheyennne and Chicago are both subject to exactly the same 2nd Amendment; the one that enables individuals to keep and bear arms.

Mayor Richard Daley went a couple better.

Speaking during a morning event at Navy Pier, Daley said any effort to strike down Chicago’s handgun ban would likely increase taxes because of the increased need for police presence. He also says violence sparked by the end of the ban would also increase hospitalizations.

The increased taxes comment is not really a surprise, given that Democrats wake up each day wondering what they could spend somebody else’s money on, but the second comment is hilarious. Violence sparked by the end of the ban?? Does Mayor Daley think there are folks sitting at home, holding back on shooting somebody because their weapon is banned? Is this man an idiot? Answers on a postcard please.

Finally, Nancy Assad came out and basically said it would be OK for DC to ignore the Supreme Court (which I’m sure she probably does not think about the Boumedienne ruling).

“I think it still allows the District of Columbia to come forward with a law that’s less pervasive,” Pelosi said at her weekly briefing Thursday. “I think the court left a lot of room to run in terms of concealed weapons and guns near schools.”

Sorry liberals, score one for the US Constitution. Kennedy must have been feeling unwell.

gosh! aren’t they funny!

Where else, but in the Kingdom of Stupid, San Francisco?

The group wants to get a proposal to rename the Oceanside Water Pollution Control Plant, which treats most of the area’s waste water, the George W Bush Sewage Plant on the November election ballot.

It needs just over 7,000 signatures to do so but already has nearly 9,000 thanks to campaigners’ efforts on city streets.

“As we near the end of George W Bush’s presidency, we think it is important to select a fitting monument to this president’s work,” the group’s website states. “On matters ranging from foreign relations to fiscal and environmental stewardship, no other president in American history has accomplished so much in such a short time.”

I actually think having something essential, reliable, purifying and unheralded named after him is very fitting for this President.

“Most politicians tend to be narcissistic and egomaniacs,” Brian McConnell, a commission member, told the New York Times. “So it is important for satirists to help define their history rather than letting them define their own history.”

Satire is subtle and funny, dipshit. You are neither.

The calm before the storm

Since the SCOTUS is going to make a huge ruling on guns tomorrow, it’s probably time to lighten up a bit. So, let’s have some fun.

First we have a blog called zacsunderland.com. So who is Zac? Well, he is a 16 year old whose mom and dad put him on a sail boat a week ago Saturday to sail around the world. Alone. As in all by himself. Let me repeat that, he is going to sail the world, all by his little self. Good luck Zac. Don’t get boarded by pirates. They’re not like Johnny Depp. So, would you let your 16 year old go? When he was 16, I would have hog tied my son and thrown him on the boat and kicked it out to sea, so I guess I can’t bash them that much.

Here’s that kitty video again. Funny as heck and oh, so true:

Here’s one we can laugh like heck at. This guy was a classic. One of the best ever.

A strange one:

Finally, what happens when a comedian in libtard central (Seattle) decides to tell a towel head joke?

Have a good night and let’s hope the SCOTUS does the right thing. But based on the child rapist ruling, I’m not holding my breath…

Change (your mind) you can believe in

So for the second time in the last week or so Obama has changed his mind on a big issue. Remember, the change (your mind) to believe in was going without public financing for his campaign when he said he would take the public financing. He became the first nominee in either party to forgo it since it came into being after Watergate. Most nominees skip it in the primaries, but not the general election. Now, I’m not going to pummel him for that flip flop. After all, you are in to win, and that “system corrupting” money really helps when you’re getting 300 million dollars plus from ~~people~~ special interests. Again, you’re in to win and money makes it happen. So see ya standards! And for the record, I’d do the same thing.

However, now we get to a “core belief”. This one is pure political pandering showing once again that the messiah is nothing but a slimey politician who will say/do anything to win. Some change. Observe:

Obama said he will support the new FISA bill “despite misgivings”. Sayeth the messiah: “Given legitimate threats we face, providing effective intelligence collection tools with the appropriate safeguards is too important to delay. So I support compromise but do so with the firm pledge that as president I will carefully monitor the program.” Oooo, carefully monitor the program. Ok, for 20 years he monitored the Rev Wright he didn’t know. For over a decade he monitored the Bill Ayers and Tony Rezco he didn’t know. From what I can see this guy is either not too bright or not too observant.

This new position is a stark departure from his position on ~~9/10~~ February 12th. You remember 2/12 don’t you? That was when the senate was taking up the same bill and Obama skipped the vote. He was still in a fight for the nomination and didn’t want to make a stand. However, he did send out a statement to his supporters via email that said: “I am proud to stand with Senator Dodd, Senator Feingold and a grass roots movement of Americans who are refusing to let President Bush put protections for special interests ahead of our security and our liberty.” Back then he needed those on the far left who think that it’s just fine that terrorists kill Americans. After all, we deserve it.

Now he needs to seem normal and not the most liberal member of the senate. Dodd and Feingold? Well, they still oppose it. So back in February, he is a fellow freedom fighter. Now he stands with the “special interests” that he railed against.

I guess Dodd and Feingold weren’t ready for that kind of change. They maintain that the current bill has insufficient court review for the 40 lawsuits filed against the telecoms alleging privacy invasion. I’m guessing that he’s no longer the Barack Obama that they knew.

Will the Obama Supporters please answer this?

From the Rott, we get this heart warming story. Apparently, a woman gets lung cancer. It goes into remission for 2 years and then comes back. Her doctor writes a script for a drug that will extend her life and slow the attack. The government run health care system says, “no, you can’t have that drug”. They will however, pay for doctor assisted suicide should she decide that she doesn’t want to burden the taxpayer system any more. So, where is she? England? Canada? Sweden? No, she’s in Oregon, USA. She has the Oregon Health Plan.

This wasn’t even a Barack or Hillary lite plan. It was for people who were uninsured. It has been plagued with cost overruns to the extent that now they have a lottery just for the privilege to join. Then the legislature is looking at cost cuts. I’m guessing that tax increases are next. No evidence to support that, but I’m sure the liberals will make that plank 1 when the time comes.

Country after country has tried and failed to get decent health coverage for everyone. States have tried and failed. Medicare and Medicaid are failures by any measure. The government run VA hospitals are failures.

So my question to the Obama supporters is this: Are you just too thick to realize that his attempt at socialized medicine would destroy the best medical system in the world? Or do you really think that he has some magic pixie dust he received from the fairies and ponies at his My Little Pony Crystal Rainbow Castle that will make THIS one different? That THIS TIME someone will come along with that magical idea that will make people not exploit the “free” system. That somehow, he will keep the crowded emergency rooms from collapsing under the weight of those people who would go to the hospital in the middle of the night for a stubbed toe since hey, it’s “free”. That somehow will he keep doctors practicing medicine after telling them that they have to cut their prices?

It has been tried over and over. It doesn’t work. When you offer something for free, people exploit it. They take full advantage. Costs explode. Benefits are cut. Taxes/fees are raised. The whole thing collapses. Those that caused the problem then point fingers and are never held to account. So answer me please, what makes Baracks (or Hillary’s for that matter) different? What will make it work?

I will point out that in the above story of this lady, the PRIVATE SECTOR DRUG COMPANY stepped in to help her. Showing once again, that there is NOTHING worthwhile that the private sector cannot handle better than a government boondoggle.

teh obaminator™ !!!!!

He runs!

He flies!

He leaps tall buildings in a single bound!

…one question the Obama team must grapple with is why the presumptive Democratic nominee does not have a more substantial lead over McCain in early polls.

A small point buried in paragraph 1,263 of yet another fawning piece of hagio-porn in the WaPo.

an open letter to J.C. Watts and other black conservatives supporting Senator Obama

Mr. Watts,

I have read with great dismay that you are considering supporting Senator Obama. I am writing this to ask you to reconsider. I am not a feel good, condescending liberal. I am not going to tell you I know how you feel. I don’t. I can’t. I have not walked in your shoes, I will not patronize you. My problem is not with having a black man as president. Mr. Watts, if you had run, I would have out-worked anyone in the state of North Carolina for you. My problem is having Senator Obama as president. I always hoped that the first black man as president would be someone like a JC Watts or a Michael Steele. I wanted someone that I could trust with the office. Someone who I can relate to on a philosophical level. Senator Obama does not share my, or your views. He is to the left of John Edwards and Senator Kennedy. That should be more than enough for you to say “no, not this one”.

If I asked you to name the worst president this country has had, in most cases it would be easy. Former President Carter. President Carter was a socialist who wrapped his ultra left views in a nice talking package. Senator Obama is another President Carter. If Senator Obama wins in the fall, he will immediately raise taxes everywhere he can. He will press for government run health care. He will negotiate with terrorists while they re-tool their arsenals for their next attacks. He will use the Keynesian economic model which you and I both know is an absolute failure. He will put windfall taxes on the oil industry which drove supply down when President Carter tried it. He will push for solutions to the myth of man made climate change. By the time he is done with four years, he will have pushed this country to the brink worse than President Carter did. When he is done in four years, he will replace President Carter as the worst president this country has ever had.

Therein lies the biggest problem. The next time a black person like you or Mr. Steele or Miss Rice runs, it won’t be oh, s/he’s different, they’re Republican. It will be “remember the last time…”. No, it’s not fair, but fairness is not an issue in politics. That is why we need the first black president to be a Reagan, not a Carter. We need the first black president to set a high standard. Not one who will set a new standard for bad. Please reconsider your support for Senator Obama. Then, when the Republican nomination is open again, please consider stepping into the race or asking your fellow black conservatives to do so. If you had done so this year, you may have been the nominee.

Thank you.

Obama: I’m not September 10th, even though I am

Nedra Pickler of the AP says that Barack “defiantly” rebuked McCain for saying Barack has a September 10th mindset. I guess we can tell who Nedra is cheering for. Not an angry Barack. Not a defensive Barack (which would have been the actual truth). No, a defiant one. One who will stand up to those evil rethugs. Anyway, I digress. Here’s what his messiah-ness had to say:

“These are the same guys who helped to engineer the distraction of the war in Iraq at a time when we could have pinned down the people who actually committed 9/11. This is the same kind of fear-mongering that got us into Iraq … and it’s exactly that failed foreign policy I want to reverse.”

You mean that distraction of a war that has humiliated and pretty much run Al Qaeda out of Iraq and Afghanistan? The one that has Al Qaeda cornered in a small (but tough to get to) section of tribal Pakistan? That distraction that has Al-Sadr hiding his fat rear in Iran begging his minions to please stop being slaughtered so nicely and run away? That distraction? Whatever. I guess if you want to talk with our enemies to show how messiah-like you are, then you would kind of want some of the enemy left wouldn’t you? Too bad Bush doesn’t feel that way. You may have to have a séance to get a hold of some to negotiate with.

Oh, and about that foreign policy? You know, the one that has kept us free from attack since 9/11/2001 even though you call it a failure? You want to reverse that? What ever you say Mr. September 10th.

So how does Obamessiah think we should handle our terrorist friends? Well, here’s what he said to contrast club Gitmo detainees with the 1993 bombers of the WTC:

“And, you know, let’s take the example of Guantanamo. What we know is that, in previous terrorist attacks — for example, the first attack against the World Trade Center — we were able to arrest those responsible, put them on trial. They are currently in U.S. prisons, incapacitated. And the fact that the administration has not tried to do that has created a situation where not only have we never actually put many of these folks on trial, but we have destroyed our credibility when it comes to rule of law all around the world, and given a huge boost to terrorist recruitment in countries that say, ‘Look, this is how the United States treats Muslims. … We could have done the exact same thing, but done it in a way that was consistent with our laws.”

So the blind cleric is incapacitated? So he really hasn’t been communicating with the outside. Nope, he’s just folding clothes in the laundry area I guess. That’s why all the people in Gitmo need lawyers too. No, not a September 10th mindset at all.

After Obama said he agreed with that SCOTUS ruling giving the Gitmo prisoners a civilian review, McCain’s supporters called a phone press conference telling everyone that Obama is a September 10th kind of guy. To counter, who does Obama put on? John “I served in Nam” Kerry who was rejected by the voters 4 years ago because everyone thought he was too easy on the enemy for them and Richard Clarke, the poster child of the September 10th mindset himself. The very counter terrorism official who was pushing the buttons on September 11th and the years preceding it. Yeah, nice one there Barack. Why don’t you get Jamie Gorelick too?

So the thrust of it is, Barack says he’s not a September 10th thinker. He just thinks the policies of the September 10th thinkers worked better. But don’t say he has a September 10th mindset.

Again, as Martin puts it: Not. Ready. For. Prime. Time.

Love the ending of the article. Mr. Obama said that the republicans will use fear to get elected. Whose talking points are “They will take your social security away. They want to end medicare. They want to take away your food stamps. They want to kick you out in the street in place of their corporate buddies. They want to poison the environment…”? Pot, meet kettle.

Barack’s change: No headscarves will be seen near him

This group decides to go to an Obamatuer rally. They get offered seats behind Mr. hope and change hinself. Well, that is until one of the women refused to remove her head scarf. She was a muslim and that is a no-no for her. So the messiah’s handler tells her “Off the stage you go!“. He informed her that with the current political climate, the Obamessiah cannot have muslim looking people around him. Meanwhile at the same rally, another group with a muslim woman gets approached by a different messiah staffer with offers of a stage seat. When said staffer sees the woman with the head scarf, he tells her to remove it or not go on stage. But it’s not her religion, oh no. It’s that no one is allowed hats or scarves or any head cover. Yeah, right. So they’re not happy. After all they didn’t think hope and change involved them changing. That’s not change they want to believe in. Of course the Obama spokesman says that this is just a misunderstanding. They don’t boot people with head scarves. Uh-huh.

(hat tip to Rodger at C&S)

Now, here’s the part where I get in trouble… This is just my opinion, but 2 different staffers at the same event saying no muslim headscarves DID NOT just happen. These were orders from the top. This is something that is discussed at morning meetings and are policies that are communicated. So when the spokesman says “This is not our policy” you bet your rear it was and it was messiah approved. He knew about it and he signed off on it. Yes, I know this kind of stage setup happens in all campaigns. Just don’t tell us you don’t do it when you get caught saying “we don’t let your kind on the stage”. Again, just my opinion, but hey, if I didn’t at least put some opinion in the piece instead of just swiping other people’s stuff, I’d be the AP.

de mint to the rescue

Yet again.

They announced their objections as two GOP senators said they would try to block the package until a committee can investigate how much Countrywide Financial Corp. and other lenders stand to gain from it.

House and Senate Republicans are voicing reservations about the bill in light of allegations that Senate Banking Committee Chairman Christopher J. Dodd, D-Conn., one of its architects, and Senate Budget Committee Chairman Kent Conrad, D-N.D., got cut-rate home loans through a VIP program at Countrywide, a leading subprime lender at the center of the mortgage meltdown.

Both said they neither sought nor knew about the special treatment.

“There have been very serious concerns raised about actions taken by Countrywide and we need to know what they stand to gain from this bill,” Sen. Jim DeMint, R-S.C., said in a statement.

This is all the Republicans need to do, but they seem unable to recognize that a wounded Democrat should be killed off in the full glare of publicity, as their side would a wounded Republican (Trent Lott, Tom DeLay anyone?), and not be allowed to wait out the firestorm and live to fight another day.

Unsurprisingly, one of our own is effectively pushing the bill (thereby helping out Dodd), as a demonstration that congress can ‘get something done’.

Sen. Richard C. Shelby of Alabama, the senior Banking Republican who exacted large concessions from Dodd to win bipartisan backing for the measure, said acting on it was a chance to show that Congress could move on a pressing issue.

As anybody familiar with the nonsensical calamity that is Sarbanes-Oxley can tell you, ‘getting something done’ is about as much use as an ashtray on a motorcycle if the something being done is the wrong something.

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