2008 May | MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy

Archive for May, 2008

Johnny’s Mom

I love this video. :)

Happy Mother’s Day, everyone! Be sure to read Chris’ Mother’s Day post! It’s awesome.

Go visit some of my favorite moms and wish them a Happy Mother’s Day today, okay? (List below the break.) They’re not ALL moms, but they all deserve well wishes today. :)

On Mothers Day, those 4 little words

Sarah heard the distant cry of her daughter in her bedroom. She opened her eyes, to the sight of darkness. No light meant the middle of the night. “I’m never going to get any sleep.” It was the third time Leslie had cried out. The first two times Sarah went to her room only to find her back to sleep when she got there. This time she wasn’t getting out of bed. Her husband snored next to her. She rolled over and nudged him. “Your turn” she whispered. His snore didn’t change. She pushed him again and his snore broke for a moment and continued. She waited for a moment, hoping the crying would stop. The cries tapered off and faded out. Sarah waited a few minutes lying still as she could, as if her rolling back over would reawaken her daughter. No more sounds came from Leslie’s room. Sarah rolled back over to sleep and was met face to face with her little girl standing at her bedside. Startled, she nearly jumped out of her skin. Stifling a shriek, she mumbled to her little girl, “What is it sweetie?” The teary broken-voiced reply was “I have to potty”. Checking her frustration, she mumbled “Go ahead. You don’t have to ask for that. Just do it sweetie.” Leslie turned and staggered off to the bathroom. As she walked away, Sarah called a little louder “Thank you for not peeing the bed sweetie”. Leslie made no reply as her tiny five year old body walked around the corner to the bathroom. While Sarah waited for the flush that never came, she fitfully drifted back to sleep.

The alarm ripped her from her dreams and woke her up with a start. Sarah sat up and hit the off button on the alarm clock. The space where her husband snored the night away was empty. She pulled her robe over her pajamas and staggered off to the kitchen to get the kids ready for school. She deflected off the door frame as she entered the kitchen. Rubbing her shoulder, she saw Leslie already at the table. “GOOD MORNING MOMMY!” she shouted in a voice that was all too perky for someone who woke mommy in the middle of the night. Sarah smiled weakly and inquired about breakfast. “I want cereallllll!” boomed that same all too loud happy voice.

Jake bounded in and grabbed the bread for toast. “Hey mom!” Looking at Leslie “Hey lizard!” He popped 2 slices in and grabbed the jelly out of the refrigerator and waited. Leslie’s reply was immediate. “I’m not a lizard. You are!”
Jake fired back “L!-O!-S!-E!-R! LOOOOOSSSSSEEERRRR”
“MOM! Jake is calling me names again!”
“I am not!”
“You called me a loser!”
“No I didn’t”
“And you called me a lizard”
“Nope, don’t think so”
“Did too”
“Not”
“MOM!”

Sarah stared out her kitchen window as they battled. She was already exhausted from the night and now frustration was building. “JAKE! Knock it off!”
Jake fired one more quiet “loser” as he turned to his toast. Leslie muttered back “you are”. Their new battle was interrupted by Sarah who seemed to be talking her herself while looking out the window.

“Have kids they said. Yeah, have kids. It’s so much fun. Beh! I could be on a cruise right now with all the money I would have saved. Yeah, a cruise. I would look out over the ocean. There it is. Hi ocean. Pretty ocean. Oh, look! There’s a dolphin. Hi dolphin. Yes, swim dolphin, swim. Pretty, pretty dolphin. You did a dolphin flip for me. Thank you! How pretty. Look, there’s an island too. What? It’s time for my massage? Tell Fabio I’ll be right there. Pretty, pretty Fabio. Pretty, pretty ocean…”

Vickie barged through the kitchen, book bag in one hand, keys in the other. “Hi mom, bye mom. Love you mom.”
Sarah left her happy place and glanced over just in time to see Vickie scurry past trying to get out without being seen. “Freeze missy!” Vickie stopped, grunted and sighed. She turned to look at Sarah and grunted again. “Yes? I’m in a hurry.”
Jake and Leslie, who were still giggling about mom’s “cruise”, started to laugh. Sarah looked at her daughter, dressed more for a night out than school.
“Um, I don’t think that is quite what the school has in mind when they say dress appropriately.”
Vickie put her best whine voice on, “MOM! Jason’s going to be there and I want to look nice.”
“Yeah, nice. OK. That dress doesn’t say ‘I look nice’. That dress screams ‘I’m an all you can eat Vickie buffet’. It’s not nice. It’s desperate. Besides, what happened to Charles?”
“You never pay attention to me. Charlie was 2 boyfriends ago.”
“Well, can you stay with one long enough for me to be able to say hi to him?”
Vickie smiled an impish grin. She turned so her side was to Sarah and informed her “You’re just jealous that *I* get the boys now because my butt’s tight and yours ain’t right.” Then she turned her chest to her mom, shook it and rhymed “And you don’t have, these no more, ‘cause yours are draggin’ on the floor! HA!”
Sarah fired back “Yeah and it’s your fault too. Go on, get out of here. I’m too tired to argue”
Vickie snatched up her books again and took off.
Turning to a giggling Jake and Leslie she informed “What are you laughing at, you did this to me too”. They laughed harder.
As Vickie left Sarah made one final plea “Just make sure you change that before your dad gets home. His heart is bad enough”
Vickie bolted out the door with a “Love you mom” trailing off.

The faint rev of a car motor startled Sarah out of her reminiscence. Of all the times to lose her thoughts, why now? And why a memory from 26 years ago? Leslie waking her up and then getting the kids ready for school? Where did that come from? She heard the engine stop. Looking into the mirror, she saw her unprepared face. The lines and creases that had long ago replaced the glow of her youth seemed to stare back at her more than ever. Her frustration started to boil up. It was the second time in an hour that she lost her thoughts. The first time, the burning of her breakfast snapped her out. It was happening more and more. Why could she could not keep her thoughts anymore? Why could she not concentrate on anything? She had faded out for too long and now there was no time to get ready. Her mind raced. She had no makeup, no hair fixed, nothing. She thought of the kids. Everyone was going to be so angry with her. She slammed down her brush and grabbed a tissue to fight the tears. Her hands shook as she blotted her eyes. Jake opened the front door. “MOM?” Sarah made no reply. Jake entered the house. His two toddlers bounded in behind him and bolted to the TV room with their mom to wait for Grandma. Jake walked to his mom’s room and looked in the open door. She turned to face him. She didn’t need to speak. He could see her pain and sadness. “I’m, I’m not ready yet.” Jake ignored the clock that said he was late. He smiled gently and reassured her. “It’s ok mom. We’re a bit early today. Take your time.” He walked up to her.
“It’s going to be a while. I have no makeup on, my hair isn’t done. I, I just can’t…”
Jake touched his mom’s cheek. “You look great momma. Your hair is fine. Come here”
He wrapped his arms around her while she sobbed softly into his shoulder.
“I love you mommy. I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you. So will Leslie and Vickie.”
Sarah’s heart lightened and her tears stopped. She held the embrace as tight as she could.
The sound of another car announced Leslie’s arrival. Jake broke the embrace and stepped behind his mother to help her work on her hair. Lunch would be a bit late, but that was ok.

Mothers give of themselves all through your life. She gave you her life’s energy when you were in her womb. You sapped her strength when you learned to walk and started to grow. You tried her patience more each day as you grew older and decided you knew more. When you moved out, her heart went with you and her thoughts were on you often. After you moved away, you realized how smart, wise and patient she really was. You were amazed at how she ran a household while you and your siblings tried every angle to get your way. All these things weren’t for money or fame or accolades. They were done for love and the memories. Every line in her face is a memory that made her smile. Every grey hair is a memory of a moment that tried her patience. But it’s all part of being a mom and the one thing that drives her to do it are those four little words. When they are spoken with sincerity and honesty, they soothe bad moods and calm turmoil filled hearts. The four little words that mom spoke to make it all better for us, makes it all worth it for her as well. No one knows how long she’ll be with you. Now that she is older, she needs your love and your patience and your help as much as you can. So today and every day possible, make sure you tell her those four words that heal and warm her heart. They mean more than any flowers or card ever could.

I love you mommy.

Happy Mothers Day

Barack Obama’s Jedi Mind Tricks

Also commonly known as “groupthink” or “brainwashing.”

That’s funny, but the idea of Barack Obama as President isn’t funny. I got the following via email and it sums up neatly why Barack Obama is WRONG FOR AMERICA, and the agenda for which he’s using his “Jedi Mind Tricks.”

Policy wise, Obama will push us gleefully towards socialism, which cannot be good to the average blue collar worker, teacher or trucker, much less business owner or corporation. His policies will cause gas prices to skyrocket even higher and faster than they currently are. He is opposed to drilling for more oil. He is in favor of more regulation, and even thinks he is smart enough to determine the salaries of CEO’s.

On abortion he has a 100% National Abortion Rights Action League (NARAL) rating. He is in favor of partial birth abortion, supports transporting minors across state lines for abortions, and is against holding accountable doctors who fail to provide treatment for babies born live after botched abortions.

On taxes he wants to eliminate the Bush tax cuts and will be happy as a clam to raise them. He is so far out of touch with reality that he doesn’t even think “we the people” want our taxes reduced.

On crime, he is against stiffer penalties against gang members, supports needle exchanges and is soft on sex predators.

On health care, he is a Hillary clone, and wants to create universal health care, which is just another term for socialized medicine…which hasn’t worked anywhere its been tried.

On education he supports sex education for grade schoolers and thinks anyone with a B average or above should get free college.

On guns, Barack is so extreme he doesn’t even put his position up on his campaign website. He proclaims his support for the Second Amendment, but is working hard to turn America into a “gun free” zone, where self defense is outlawed. Naturally, he is against concealed weapons.

Most politicians would be sunk with friends like Barack’s.

His associations with his pals are amazing — Jeremiah Wright, his spiritual mentor thinks God should damn America. Weather Underground member Bill Ayers, now a college professor stomps on the American flag and declares he wished he would have set off more bombs.

Barack’s pal Frank Marshall Davis who he looked upon as “father” is an anti-Christian radical and member of the Communist Party USA, while his official campaign blogger’s work appeared in a socialist magazine and he had a communist flag at his home.

Tony Rezko, of course is still in trouble with the law. Code Pink founder Jodie Evans not only raised money for Barack, but also for Islamic radicals in Iraq.

Is this guy actually qualified to be President?

Of course not, in the traditional sense. He got educated, has no business experience, cut his teeth as a community activist, breezed through a stint in the Illinois state legislature, and spent two years as a U.S. Senator.

“Qualification” when it comes to politics is different than the real world. Qualified to run for office merely means that you have connections, you have a fundraising base and you have supporters. That’s it. Many of us don’t, nor do we necessarily have the desire. But he does, and he has it all in a major way.

Is he actually ready to be Commander in Chief, to be the leader of the free world, to be the true hope of those living under oppression? Well, if you put it that way, the answer is no. His solution to Iran, radical Islam and the terrorists running rampant in Iraq and Afghanistan is to sit down and talk with them. He doesn’t get it. They are done talking.

Barack is a liberal forged from the same molten fire deep within the same mountain as Hillary Clinton. And since he is, and since she is so prominent, you’d think the Democrats would want a Hillary/Barack ticket, and not Barack at the top of the heap. After all, that would be the safest bet.

But no, Democrats are jumping ship on Hillary and swimming over to the S.S. Obama. Why? Almost nothing can explain it. . . except one thing.

And I am telling you it is not the obvious. It is not Barack’s message of Hope and Change that has struck a chord. No, just about every Democrat has been selling that same old swill for years.

Everyone knows that “Hope” to a Democrat means more money from you going to the government.

Everyone also knows that “Change” to a Democrat means jettisoning the Free Enterprise system and exchanging it for socialism.

Remember that.

(Cross-posted at McCain Blogs)

CQ Politics VP Madness Round 2

CQ Politics has Round 2 of VP Madness up–you’ve got until Monday to get your picks in. Here’s how it looks after Round One:

*click*

Can’t say I agree with ALL of those picks, but whatever. ;-)

(I almost missed this, buried beneath 8000 other emails in my inbox - as it is, it came in two days ago.)

Another Obama supporter BUSTED electioneering

Remember this incident where an Obama supporter was videotaped electioneering inside the polling place?

They got another one.

Not that I’m surprised - everyone knows how this kind of thing has always been going on with the Democrats forever. It’s just sort of shocking to actually SEE it, especially with it being done so brazenly. Bitch can’t even pretend she didn’t know, because she hid when election officials came around, and got defensive with the people filming. Bitch.

I’m going to make sure I get placed in heavily Democratic precincts on election day when I volunteer to do poll-watching. I’ve always been sitting at the mind-numbingly boring ones where nothing is going on. Not any more.

Y’all might want to think about volunteering to poll-watch in your area, too, at least for a couple hours. There’s nothing to it, and someone’s got to keep these criminals from cheating like they always do. Apparently these jackasses that got caught on film are used to being “watched” by accomplices. Idiots. Stupid, clueless, bassackwards, dishonest, low-life idiots. You’ve gotta love that they’re caught on film, being shown to the world on YouTube. Finally.

(Cross-posted at McCain Blogs)

Can We Ask? YES WE CAN!

I have questions for Barack Obama.

1. Since you have said you will sit down with our enemies and you belong to a church that has printed Hamas propaganda, why would you find it surprising that Hamas supports you? More importantly, why do you find it “flattering,” but complain when it’s mentioned by others?

NOBAMA no questions no answers no vote 2. Why do you demand one set of rules for opponents, but live by the complete opposite of those rules? Why do you demand civility from your opponent, then you attack him, distort his record and send out surrogates to question his integrity? Are you a liar, a hypocrite, or both?

3. Considering the fact that 1) you may be the most pro-abortion person on Capitol Hill, and 2) you equated pro-life Senator Tom Coburn with a terrorist, I must ask: would you belong to a church for 20 years that had opposition to abortion as a fundamental value and focus of activism?

Oh, I have plenty more questions to ask, but I’ll have to ask more of them later. Maybe I’ll make this a regular thing, since there’s a whole website set up for the purpose of asking Barry questions. Not that I expect to be given answers, since we all know how irritable he gets about being asked questions. Thou shalt not question thy Obamessiah!

Boohoo Obama

Can we ask? Yes we can!

(Video added)

hillary clinton is a complete mentalist. for real.

Demonstrating that mathematics and naked ambition are not always compatible, the gibbering wreck formerly known as Hillary Clinton declares her intention to soldier on.

Clinton made reference to her interview with USA Today where she said “Sen. Obama’s support among working, hard-working Americans, white Americans, is weakening again, and how whites in both states who had not completed college were supporting me.”

Either this woman knows something we don’t, or is no longer in control of her faculties - she cannot overhaul teh Obamessiah™ in either delegates or the popular vote unless the Michigan and Florida delegations are apportioned 100% in her favor; which can only happen if she takes the fight to the credentials committee at the convention. If she controls that committee, which it is alleged she does, and they are prepared to ram through such a rule change, which I suppose they might, then she becomes the first nominee to lose a Presidential election in July.

It’s hard to imagine even the Democrats being so staggeringly stupid, but one never knows. What I do know is that if a Republican had used the words that Hillarious did to describe her target voter, they’d be hounded out of town by 8 o’clock tonight.

Iran and syria are at it again

Lebanaon looks set to explode. Again.

Clashes broke out in Lebanon’s eastern Bekaa Valley today as rival factions prepared for what many in the country feared would be a bloody showdown between the Government and the Shia group, Hezbollah.

At least one person was killed when fighting broke out in a mixed Sunni and Shia neighbourhood near the Bekaa town of Chtaura as supporters of Hezbollah and the allied Amal Movement fought partisans of the pro-Government Future Movement.

(Note from Markos: Can somebody please find an angle to Blame Boosh™ for this? It’s patently obvious that the criminal invasion of Iraq by the crusaders and occupiers has stirred up this unpleasantness in a region where peace and tranquility have otherwise reigned for centuries. Please pass on approved progressive responses to Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi and Howard Dean).

Uh-oh! Methinks perchance Messrs Carter and Obama are needed to smooth things through with a bit of hope and, errrm, some change, and some talking to enemies, and stuff.

Last night, Sheikh Rashid Qabbani, the Sunni mufti of Lebanon, delivered unusually harsh criticism of Hezbollah, describing the party as an “armed gang of outlaws that have carried out the ugliest attacks against the citizens and their safety”.

An armed gang of outlaws! WHAT???? These people are legitimately-elected representatives of the people!! Or perhaps he’s absolutely right, and the scales are falling from the eyes of the people regarding radical Islamism - Lebanon could actually become, together with Iraq, a bulwark in the fight against these barbaric savages, if they tough it out and destroy the rag-tag gangs who actually do the fighting (Hezbollah will of course deploy their very own Comical Ali to hail the great military victories of their street thugs, all the while downplaying the actuality of Lebanese troops shooting them like fish in a barrel).

The Higher Shiite Council, the leading authority for Lebanese Shia, today accused the Government of “bias” and blaming it for triggering the crisis.

Triggering it by not capitulating to the threats of a bunch of seventh-century hoodlums, one assumes?

But Marwan Hamade, the Minister of Telecommunications, told The Times that the Government had no intention of rescinding its decisions.

“Hezbollah has unmasked itself. It is not a resistance movement, but a militia trying to take power in Lebanon,” he said.

Quite so, old chap, quite so. The only part you need to add is ‘funded by a pencil-necked weirdo and a grinning midget psychopath from the Axis of Evil’.

Courage, as a proven fabulist once said.

Mike Gravel and Obama Girl

And you thought Mike Gravel’s videos couldn’t get any more bizarre.

Are you a fascist?

Of course you are, you jackbooted Rethug. ;-P

Actually, probably not. If you’re like me, “you are disciplined but tolerant; a true American.”

stein hoist Dan Collins @ PW

The Next Right

I’ve complained in the past about how ineffectual the right side of the blogosphere is; it’s part of the reason I grumble about how I “hate blogging,” in fact. Oh, yeah, we had Rathergate and the Reuters Fauxtography scandal, and a couple other things that hit critical mass, but that’s just a handful of things in the last four years or so. It’s nothing compared to the things the Nutroots gets done, and I’m not even talking about the enormous amounts of money they can raise compared to us.

The difference: While we talk about how they are negative–and they are–they’re also working FOR something. We’re just generally carping from the cheap seats, playing at punditry and media criticism. They’re getting the nutroots agenda heard on Capitol Hill regularly, and they even were able to take down a Senator who was once a Vice-Presidential candidate (Lieberman) in a primary. There’s no way Ned Lamont could have beaten Joe Lieberman in the primary without the Nutroots. And now, the conservative blogosphere is top-heavy with people who are largely lukewarm (or worse) toward our Presidential candidate, and more against the idea of a President Barack Obama. Well, it’s pretty much our own fault as a collective whole.

Enter The Next Right.

.
The Next Right is a new project started by Patrick Ruffini, Jon Henke, and Soren Dayton, designed to foster political activism using technology like blogs and other Web 2.0 structures. Patrick Ruffini introduces it here:

If you’re looking for pure-play opinion and link bait on sundry topics from Ann Coulter to Jimmy Carter/Hamas, you won’t find it here. What you will find is in-depth (often unabashedly technical) writing about the election, the polls, the strategy, and the issues. Our analysis will track truth and stay true to the numbers. But it will self-consciously serve a greater purpose — educating YOU to be your own political strategist and start doing something — whether that’s blogging about your local Congressional race or Democratic corruption in your state, organizing fundraising drives, and maybe even managing races or running for office yourself. Only a revival of civic engagement at the grassroots level will create a conservative future we want: one that is pork-free and robust in the defense of our country and its values. We can’t call a switchboard and wait for Washington to fix the mess. We have to do it ourselves, from the ground up, in every state.
[...]
We don’t think this alone will solve the activism gap. Anyone who tells you that they alone have the answer is fooling you. This is not “the Daily Kos of the right.” What we’re hoping to do is create momentum and an intellectual framework for action — because action ultimately starts with narratives and ideas. We want grassroots conservatives and libertarians to start believing that they can make a difference again — a sense all too many have lost. Only you – and not some well-funded 527 — can bring the movement into the future. Only when grassroots conservative have a direct stake in the future of the party are we effective. The Next Right is about creating a vision for a 21st century Republican Party and conservative movement.

We need this. Desperately. Go read more about the how and whys of The Next Right, and sign up to be notified when it’s open for business. TAKE BACK CONTROL OF YOUR GOVERNMENT.

THIS MEANS YOU.

Yes We Shall!

Really, that stupid, overhyped will.i.am video is just perfect for parody. LOL

stein hoist Tech Republican

Obama on divisive politics: “We will end it by telling the truth”

During last night’s speech in North Carolina, Barack Obama said the following, referring to the divisive way the political game is played:

We will end it not by duplicating the same tactics and the same strategies as the other side, because that will lead us down the same path of polarization and of gridlock.

We will end it by telling the truth.

We will end it by telling the truth forcefully, repeatedly, confidently, and by trusting that the American people will embrace the need for change, even if it’s coming from an imperfect messenger, because that’s how we’ve — that’s — because that’s how we’ve always changed this country, not from the top down, but from the bottom up, when you, the American people, decide that the stakes are too high and the challenges are too great.

FAIL. You’ve been fact-checked, Barry.

You’re going to tell the truth, Barack? What, did you decide suddenly to turn over a new leaf?

See, he can keep repeating this lie and play divisive politics himself by painting all of his opponents as “fear mongers” and racists, but he’s not fooling me with his rhetorical gymnastics. Here’s how he rolls:

* Opponent points out his faults, whether it’s his far-left agenda, his lackluster Chicago Democrat political record (that shows nothing resembling “change,” “unity,” or “hope”), or his history of alliances with radical leftists.
* Obama says this is divisive, and a distraction from the issues.
* Obama lies about his opponent’s record and agenda.
* Obama surrogates pile on, calling opponents racists.
* Obama surrogates/supporters lie about and attack the other candidates, and repeat absurd and demonstrably false accusations about them. (AKA “libel.”)
* Opponents are called “divisive” for drawing attention to Obama’s actual history.
* Obama surrogates claim that it’s all a smokescreen for what’s really just fear of a black President.

You tell me–who’s being divisive, if he and his supporters aren’t?

When IS he going to start telling the truth?

AI Execution. Please off them all

Well, after tonight, we have only 2 weeks and 4 shows to go. Wow, time flies fast. Here’s hoping that one of the dudes go. I’m not big on syesha, but at least she has a nice enough bahonkis to crush on for a while…

Today’s Anti-Islamofascist Action: Save Media Freedom in Yemen

URGENT help needed, via Jane at Armies of Liberation, who is the go-to for news about the Yemeni dictatorship. A prominent pro-democracy journalist in Yemen is facing a jail sentence–again:

Renowned journalist Abdulkarim al-Khaiwani is one of Yemen’s most prominent democracy advocates - for which he has paid a steep price. His paper has been closed, his website blocked, and his children threatened. He is now due to be sentenced on May 21 for “insulting the president” and “demoralizing the military.”

During his arrest in June of 2007, Al-Khaiwani was beaten and his six-year-old daughter slapped unconscious. While released on bail in August, Al-Khaiwani was kidnapped and tortured by thugs who threatened his life if he continued to write about Yemen’s president.

As al-Khaiwani’s sentencing approaches, there is growing fear a guilty verdict will open the door for a brutal crackdown on Yemen’s already-endangered journalistic community. Join with al-Khawiani’s supporters in Yemen and throughout the world as we urge the Yemeni government not to imprison journalists for their work.

Al-Khaiwani stands on principle for free speech. When he was arrested in 2004 (for “insulting the president”), prison guards broke his jaw - yet he still refused to agree to stop writing. In June of 2007, he was re-arrested on similar charges and dragged outside in his underwear. After being released on bail, he abducted by gunmen who broke his fingers threatened to kill him if he “wrote another word against the president or national unity.”

Civil rights advocates inside Yemen and abroad believe the charges against al-Khaiwani are unsubstantiated and simply punishment for his critical reporting. In fact, one of the main pieces of evidence used against him by prosecutors is an unpublished article criticizing Yemen’s president.

All I ask is for you to send a letter–it’s already filled out, you just have to send it. You won’t get spammed or anything; you can opt-in for updates from them about freedom of the press in Yemen if you want. (Or you can just read Jane’s blog, like I do, and get other news as well, like the latest on the USS Cole bombers.) You can keep your name off the public list, too.

Jane tells me this is due to get some major media coverage in the region, so every bit of support is needed. Just one minute of your time, please. Click and send the letter.

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