MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy

How to get front-paged on Digg (and how to get buried)

• Posted by Sparta on October 18th, 2007 filed in General, Moonbats, Paultards, Pseudogeek stuff    

Tags: digg

I was just discussing (via email) with a few friends an article that Cassandra wrote for Pajamas Media yesterday, and mentioned that it had been dugg. I followed that with, “BTW, digg sucks,” because there is/was virtually no chance her excellent article (much better than 99% of the crap that gets submitted there) would get any traction at digg. Basically, she broke all the “rules,” so to speak, as did the submitter. There’s a method to the madness that is digg, after all. Here it is.

How to get front-paged:

1. Talk about how Christians Xtians are fundie flat-earthers who oppress the Enlightened, Rational Atheists.
2. Write about how awesome the iPhone or OSX is.
3. Even better, write about how Linux is just about to “explode” and make Windows irrelevant.
4. Ron Paul is the Messiah who will save the world.
5. The neocons/Zionists/Jooos (please be sure to veil Zionists and Jews as “neocons,” though) were behind 9/11, and you’re stupid if you think 19 Muslims could do it.
6. Write about how Scary Giuliani is the Antichrist, and will surely have us all in prison work camps. Of course, that’s all theoretical, because Reverend Doctor Saint Ron Paul the Messiah will be elected!!1!one!!
7. If you don’t write for Crooks and Liars, Raw Story, or Think Progress (all guaranteed front-pagers!), refer to them for style tips. If you can’t do that, include a favorable link to them in your post. (The style: “report” on an MSM report–preferably one that’s blatantly left-biased–but completely distort it.)
8. Write about The Evil Bush Administration’s plans to (insert paranoid delusion here) or how they did (insert imaginary evil deed here).
9. Police State!
10. When all else fails, write a list.

How to Get Buried:

1. Be a conservative, and fail to disguise your conservatism in the post title/description.
2. Be Charles Johnson (everything from LGF gets buried) or Malkin (ditto). Sample comment from an LGF digg stalker: “Please stop making me bury this blog spam.” If it’s from a conservative site, especially LGF or Malkin’s, it’s “blog spam” and “hate speech.”
3. Diss the Reverend Doctor Saint Ron Paul the messiah.
4. Debunk a conspiracy theory, especially the 9/11 ones.
5. Be level-headed and rational.
6. Write something positive about Christianity or Judaism (or, God forbid!, Israel), you racist fundie rethug.
7. Write something favorable about Bush, Giuliani, or Fred Thompson; and to a lesser extent, Mitt Romney (oh noes, a Mormon!!!)

An important note: if you inflame the ire of an RP disciple, you may be added to his “friends list” so he can stalk all your posts and bury them, and report you to digg!

Another important thing to remember: your digg post title.

Sample front page-worthy Digg titles:

1. FUTURE PRESIDENT RON PAUL SCHOOLS GUILLIANI ABOUT 9/11 HOAX! [PICS!] (misspellings are good, as is delusion!)
2. ATHEIST LINUX GROUP ENDORSES RON PAUL!!!
3. [PICS] ALEX JONES PWNZ XTIAN BUSHTARD/GHOULIANI SUPPORTERS AT FUNDIE CHURCH!!!
4. UBUNTU GUTSY IS OUT–WINDOWS IS FINALLY DEAD! [with AMAZING PICS!]
5. 15 HACKS YOU DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT FOR YOUR IPHONE
6. 50 REASONS WHY THERE IS NO “GOD”

Got it? Note that “pics” are good, especially when described as “amazing.” Let’s see if you can come up with some good post titles. Maybe I’ll write a spoof post with one of them. ;-)