Michael Vick Found Jesus!

Michael Vick gave a brief statement to the press following a hearing this morning in which he plead guilty to all the crimes he has adamantly denied and claimed were upsetting his mother.

He maintained his innocence and concern for what the accusations were doing to his mother right up until his co-defendants implicated him and he couldn’t lie his way out of it any longer.

Once it was determined his property was, indeed, used for dog fights, torturing and killing dogs and racketeering, he adamantly denied any knowledge his property was being used for such horrific activities. He was appalled. Shocked and appalled and concerned about how badly this was upsetting his mother.

When it got to the point he was trapped like a rat, he became remorseful for his participation in these events. He said that he had made some bad decisions because he was pressured by his childhood friends not to change when he became wealthy and famous.

His statement to the press this morning went something like this:

Me, me, me, me. I, I, me, I, me. I, me, I, me, me, I, I.

Futhermore, I, I, I, I, me, me, me, me. I, me, I, me. Me, me, me, me, me, me.

I want to say that I, me, I, me, I, me, I, me, me, I, I, me, me, I.

Me, me, me, me. I, I, me, I, me. I, me, I, me, me, I, I.

I, I, I, I, me, me, me, me. I, me, I, me. Me, me, me, me, me, me.

And in closing I, me, I, me, I, me, I, me, me, I, I, me, me, I.

He added at the end of his statement that one good thing had come from this. He had found Jesus [and please don't take all his money away.]

Just kinda touches your heart doesn’t it!

Michael Vick



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5 Responses to “Michael Vick Found Jesus!”

  1. GravatarAugust 27th, 2007 at 9:37 pm
    Sierrahome says:

    My bet is that the first time he hears the words “Jesus Saves”, Mr. Vick will probably say “yeah well money’s no object for me but good for Jesus”.



  2. GravatarAugust 27th, 2007 at 9:58 pm
    raz0r says:

    He gots him some religion. :2orly:



  3. GravatarAugust 27th, 2007 at 10:18 pm
    Alan says:

    I’m a retired cop, and it took most of them a couple of weeks in the joint to find Jesus. Vick really found Him quickly!



  4. GravatarAugust 28th, 2007 at 8:10 am
    Stroosinator says:

    I really hope the judge imposes the max….by that time the NFL will have a new “god”.



  5. GravatarAugust 28th, 2007 at 11:27 am
    baldilocks says:

    Transcription very well done. :heh:



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