2007 March | MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy

Archive for March, 2007

Throw another shrimp on the barby

But not if you live in Britain, where Climate Panic™ is the default condition of Government Agencies.

But people who choose to burn charcoal may have to think twice - as councils now have swinging new powers to force homeowners to buy ‘carbon offsets’ before they light up or face a £50 fine.

I assume that’s meant to read ’swingeing’, but it’s the Daily Mail so be gentle.

The measures, which have been approved by the Climate Change Unit of the Department of Environment, Fisheries and Rural Affairs, are likely to severely curtail the number of barbecues Britons enjoy this summer.

The Climate Change Unit is right next to the Goblins, Leprechauns and Elves Unit. They share a fax machine.

Councils will approve barbecues only if the householder has bought a so-called carbon offset.

These should cost no more than £5 each and will allow sufficient barbecuing - as long as the cook is proficient - to create 20 steaks, or 40 if you like them rare.

I shi’ite you not, this story appears to have been lifted from The Onion.

Gases R Us spokeswoman Mindy Stevens said: “A carbon offset for barbecuing a steak will equate to a banana tree sapling in Indonesia. One for barbecuing half a dozen sausages would buy a third of a wind turbine for a peasant in Peru.”

I actually have a third of a wind turbine, quarter of a light water reactor and a fifth of a solar panel in my Cooling Bunker that I bought from Al Gore’s company.

Are these people aware of how absolutely farking ridiculous they sound? Barbecuing a steak will equate to a banana tree sapling in Indonesia?

When the wheels come of this idiotic hoax I will laugh and laugh, not that I’m not already!!!

Councils will appoint barbecue inspectors who will have the power to enter residents’ gardens and check whether any charcoal has been burnt.

The smell of burning, the remains of cooked burgers or a charred kebab stick will all be sufficient for them to apply on-the-spot fines of up to £50.

You could not make this shi’ite up! It actually gets better (remember, a journalist was paid to write this story).

A spokesman for B&Q said they were looking at producing new ‘green’ barbecues to cut down CO2 emissions.

One idea is to harness the warmth created by rotting compost, but these would require a chef to start cooking days in advance.

So-called ‘friction barbecues’ powered by a guest on a stationary exercise bike are also being examined.

LOL, this is absolutely farking insane, I am laughing my bollocks off.

But a spokesman for Defra was unrepentant. “Some people may think destroying the planet is a trivial matter but we must limit the selfish activities for the sake of our children,’ he said.

The new regulations take force today.

Thank God I don’t live in London any more. They have lost the plot, wholesale.

UPDATE: Maybe this is an April Fools joke. In which case I am a fool.

How Modern Liberals Think

Must-see teevee (er, YouTube–close enough) for Saturday. Featuring Evan Sayet–Writer, Lecturer and Pundit. Annika describes it this way:

This speech, by a guy named Evan Sayet, is pure brilliance. I don’t know why I’ve never heard of him before. For years I’ve been looking for a “grand unified theory” of why liberals are so farked up, and this dude came up with a real contender. He presents his thesis within the first couple of minutes, and when I heard it I was like, “whoa, that’s amazing, I’ve never thought of it like that before.”

Homecoming

Kafir

Battlefield Earth

John Travolta, star of stage and screen, thinks Global Warming Bollocks™ is a serious issue.

He said so while standing on his private runway. He’s got a nice little house though…

“It [global warming] is a very valid issue,” Travolta declared. “I’m wondering if we need to think about other planets and dome cities.

“Everyone can do their bit. But I don’t know if it’s not too late already. We have to think about alternative methods of fuel.

F–king retard.

What use is the UN?

The UN manages to make itself look more supine and ineffectual as every day passes. Today they couldn’t even get a resolution passed condemning Iran, because Russia didn’t ‘want to take sides’.

Isn’t that the farking point?

Chuck Norris Fact of the Day

You can put it on your site, too!

w00t!

Web news readers have greater attention span…oh look, something shiny!

I think this is about some study that says people like us have better attention spans, but I didn’t really finish the article. I got this much, though.

WASHINGTON, March 29 (Reuters) - People who use the Internet to read the news have a greater attention span than print readers, according to a U.S. study that refutes the idea that Web surfers jump around and don’t read much.

The EyeTrack07 survey by the Poynter Institute, a Florida-based journalism school, found online readers read 77 percent of what they chose to read while broadsheet newspaper readers read an average of 62 percent, and tabloid readers about 57 percent.

Huh?

James Dobson, Theocrat

Tags: James Dobson, Fred Thompson, Newt Gingrich, 2008 election, primary elections

Guess Fred Thompson, like me, isn’t worthy of one of these, although interestingly, Newt Gingrich apparently is.

Pfffft. Who made James Dobson the universal spokesman for Christians? I know ONE person who cares about his opinion, and she doesn’t seem to mind that I’m not an Evangelical Christian, nor does she appear to have a problem with Fred Thompson (and I’m certain, knowing her intellectual honesty, that she wouldn’t mistake Newt Gingrich as an Evangelical Christian, either). I have another very good friend who’s a very devout Christian (an observant Pentecostal, no less), and I’m certain she couldn’t care less what Dobson says.

Not that any of this matters, of course. Since when was being an evangelical/born again Christian a requirement? And is George W. Bush the first President for whom he’s ever voted in his long life? I don’t recall Ronald Reagan being much of a problem for born-again Christians, after all. Are conservatives not really conservative if they (we) aren’t born-again Christians? And then will someone please inform Nancy Reagan that her husband was a liberal (especially with that acting history!)?

Here’s an idea, since James Dobson is such an attention whore: Dobson should run for President. Let’s just see how many people would support his candidacy, versus that of any of the already-running or other likely candidates (yes, including that heathen* Rudy Giuliani or the cult member* Romney). Something tells me that evangelicals would rather have a President who isn’t an evangelical him- or herself if he or she hasn’t built his entire career on damning everyone else who doesn’t share the same faith.

I’m a social conservative, but I’m thoroughly disgusted with the so-called “religious right” leadership. It is they who have lost more elections for conservatives and alienated more voters than I care to count, and it’s they who will tank the Republicans in 2008. (I’m sure they’ll find Hillary or Obama acceptable, won’t they? “That’ll teach those Republicans a lesson,” won’t it?) Sorry, but right now all those social issues, as much as I *do* care about them, take a back seat to the war on terror for me and, I suspect, most other Americans. I’m definitely not a single-issue voter, but I look at it this way during these times: Bush has been President for six years and abortion is still legal, the idea of gay marriage is becoming more accepted by society (I personally don’t care either way), and our culture in general is certainly not becoming more conservative–quite the opposite, much to my never-ending aggravation. So what difference is it gonna make if a non-evangelical like Fred Thompson is elected versus an evangelical? Especially when “Christian” (meaning “born again” in this context) includes someone like Newt Gingrich (who isn’t gonna be elected anyway)? And does this mean socially conservative Jews can’t ever be President as well, at least according to attention-whoring, judgmental types like Dobson? What about Catholics or (omg!) Orthodox Christians?

Does anyone really care what James Dobson has to say about who “should” be the Republican nominee, anyway?

Slublog says, “James Dobson continues his campaign for political irrelevance.” I’ll give that an AMEN.

Thanks to Dave in Texas, who says all the above quite pithily in one simple sentence.

UPDATE: Dobson “apologizes,” but says the same thing in doing so. What a tool. “Apologies” not necessary–he needs to repent. :roll:

Huge, seething mob in Tehran, storms Iranian Foreign Ministry, demands execution of 15 Brits

Yikes, that’s pretty scary.

Mapping Sharia

Via Kafir (he’s a great new addition to The Jawa Report), a new site for Islamic extremist-watchers by SANE Director of Intelligence & Counter-terrorism Dave Gaubatz: Mapping Sharia. Their goals:

Program Goals:

[1] To conduct a thorough mapping and indexing of Shari’a in America. This will be the first of its kind Islamic threat analysis conducted on the US Homeland based upon open sources and intelligence gathering.

[2] To produce an interactive map that allows a macro- and micro-analysis of the current Shari’a-based Jihadists in the US, together with a fact-specific threat level analysis. This map will be updated bi-annually by a team of investigators, researchers and analysts working under the supervision of SANE’s senior officials.

[3] The detailed and person-specific information will be provided to the appropriate authorities, both governmental and civic, and will also be available upon subscription to the media, educational and research institutions, and other appropriate organizations, which will include the annual updates.

There’s much more than you would guess from a statement of goals, including reports from the field from Director Gaubatz, immediate threat alerts, and more.

Tuskegee Airmen Finally Honored, Sixty Years Later

President Bush saluted the Tuskegee airmen on Thursday, six decades after they completed their World War II mission and returned home to a country that discriminated against them because they were black.

“Even the Nazis asked why African-American men would fight for a country that treated them so unfairly,” Bush told the group of legendary black aviators, who received a Congressional Gold Medal - the most prestigious Congress has to offer.

“These men in our presence felt a special sense of urgency. They were fighting two wars. One was in Europe and the other took place in the hearts and minds of our citizens,” he said.

Bush then saluted the airmen, saying he offered the gesture to “help atone for all the unreturned salutes and unforgivable indignities” they endured.

Amen. I’m glad they finally got this long, long overdue recognition. It’s shameful that it did take so long.