A new element is discovered: Governmentium
- Posted by Martin on February 28th, 2007 filed in Funny, General, International, Martin
Major Scientific Discovery!
A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named “Governmentium”. Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 deputy neutrons, 75 assistant neutrons, and 224 deputy assistant neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no protons or electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every action with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes a reaction to take 4 days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time since each organisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as “Critical Morass.” When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
Via the West Bournemouth UKIP website, h/t Devil’s Kitchen
(UKIP being the wonderful United Kingdom Independence Party, who are rather devoted to a cause close to my own heart - getting the United Kingdom out of the farking tyranny that is the EU. The Tories, fyi, who used to be sympatico, are a lost cause. It’s all very sad).
Conservative Cat says:
Wednesday
basil’s blog: Headline News Cox and Forkum: Charmed Guns’n'butter: Bomb attack sends angry Cheney rampaging through Afghanistan countryside MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: A New Element Is Discovered: Governmentium Point Five: Electric! McCain Annou…
Overtaken by Events says:
Here Comes the Science
The scourge of Governmentium. Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 deputy neutrons, 75 assistant neutrons, and 224 deputy assistant neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounde…