Christmas with P.J.
- Posted by Beth on December 9th, 2006 filed in Funny, General, Politics, Things I Love
Genghis mentioned this, and I agree: it’s befitting the season. Besides, I’m a huge P.J. O’Rourke fan, so I don’t need an excuse!
From Parliament of Whores:
I have only one firm belief about the American political system, and that is this: God is a Republican and Santa Claus is a Democrat.
God is an elderly or, at any rate, middle aged male, a stern fellow, patriarchal rather than paternal and a great believer in rules and regulations. He holds men accountable for their actions. He has little apparent concern for the material well being of the disadvantaged. He is politically connected, socially powerful and holds the mortgage on literally everything in the world. God is difficult. God is unsentimental. It is very hard to get into God’s heavenly country club.
Santa Claus is another matter. He’s cute. He’s nonthreatening. He’s always cheerful. [*] And he loves animals. He may know who’s been naughty and who’s been nice, but he never does anything about it. He gives everyone everything they want without the thought of quid pro quo. He works hard for charities, and he’s famously generous to the poor. Santa Claus is preferable to God in every way but one: There is no such thing as Santa Claus.
He just forgot one thing: Santa is for children.
Sure wish I had that money and power, though. ;-)
* (Obviously, this shows the book’s age. “Cheerful” has become “deranged.”)
Earnestness is just stupidity sent to college.
P.J. O’Rourke, Holidays in Hell.
raz0r says:
Ah. Nothing like the classics.
genghis says:
Thanks Beth. I conjured up a vote for you.
As for classics, I still try to live life by “The Bachelor Home Companion.” And not by choice. Ham-nog? You bet I’ll be serving it this Christmas.
Jeff says:
Augusten Burroughs: “God is like Santa Claus for adults.” Is it so hard for conservative republicans to recognize the utter nonsense that is the belief in god? A belief which is shared with terrorists. A belief which divides and makes peace impossible. A belief which has no basis in reality or facts. A belief which could one day destroy the human race. Evolution is a fact but we must choose to evolve…and realize that the bible is no more real than the Koran or the Book of Morons. Happy Holidays.
Beth says:
Jeff, answer coming in a post. :wink:
Response to an atheist | MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy says:
[...] Tags: religion, faith, I’m hopelessly unqualified to write about this I had started leaving a comment in response to Jeff, (aka The Gay Black Jew) here, but instead of leaving a long, post-length comment, I’m making a post out of it (for a change!). Now many of you know, I’m no theologician or even a church-goer, for that matter, but I have an unshakeable faith in God. My religious upbringing was next to non-existent, and I really can’t even say I’m a (fill in denomination here), except I’m Christian and lean strongly toward Catholicism. Right now, that’s not important, except to say that I know there are countless others who could answer more knowledgeably and eloquently. Nevertheless, here it is. Jeff said, Augusten Burroughs: “God is like Santa Claus for adults.” Is it so hard for conservative republicans to recognize the utter nonsense that is the belief in god? A belief which is shared with terrorists. A belief which divides and makes peace impossible. A belief which has no basis in reality or facts. A belief which could one day destroy the human race. Evolution is a fact but we must choose to evolve…and realize that the bible is no more real than the Koran or the Book of Morons. Happy Holidays. [...]