Show Us The Bulge, Bitch
C’mon, Hawkins.
Vlog yourself in your Speedo.
Post those hawt pics of your junk in Spandex glory.
Face it, twerp, you’re a few hundred pounds of dynamite with a three inch fuse.
It ain’t gonna happen, cuz you ain’t got it, therefore you ain’t gonna flaunt it.
In case you missed it, blogtard, women are just as eager for beefcake as we are for boobage.
So give it up. Let’s see you drive traffic to your site with your awesome c*ck. Give the women of the Blogosphere a reason not to hate your guts.
Right now, you ain’t doing so well.
I have to go, I’m going to cook John Hawkins’ c*ck in effigy.
Thai peppers are small, seldom growing larger than 1 to 3 inches
Vitally Important Updates:
1. MY NAME IS NOT BETH.
2. Nice cherry-picking here:
Update #3: You know, it’s funny: we’re hearing all this talk about how you can’t enjoy a female writer’s blogging if you also think she’s attractive. Yet, here’s the sort of high minded dialogue “My Vast Right Wing Conspiracy” drops after someone respectfully disagrees with them:
“I have to go, I�m going to cook John Hawkins� c*ck in effigy.”
If lines like that are the sort of content they’re coming up with, “Boobyblogging” might actually be an intellectual step up the ladder.
Hyperbole. It’s a word. Look it up, Hawkins.
You didn’t disagree with “them,” you disagreed with “her.” I smacked you because a) you’re an insufferable assclown who thinks his shi’ite don’t stink, and b) Beth is my best friend.
I’m all for high-minded dialogue. Once I see evidence you’re capable of doing something other than slobbering over blog-titties, I might engage you in it.
But for now, all you get are foul-mouthed beatdowns. Because, well, I’m an asshole, and that’s just how we act sometimes.
Beth says:
All I can say is my spam word is HERO.
:mrgreen:
Raven says:
Oh Vinnie. Is. The Hero.
NOW do we expect to see Hawkins show some flesh now? I do.
In fact I guarantee his hits will GO UP and he will get a certain caliber of readers that…well…like that sort of THING. Course they won’t be reading anything he writes. Naw. Just gawking.
Russ says:
Beth, this is beneath you. You have lost any semblance of refuting facts and have gotten personal. That’s really kinda sad.
Beth says:
Russ, read who wrote it.
A MAN did. He GETS it. (IOW, he has respect for women, like he does for his mother, wife, and daughter.)
But I guess this begs the question: you don’t come around this blog often, do you? We say what we want to say here.
What’s so funny is people saying retarded shi’ite like I’m “easily offended.” LOL!!! Obviously nobody who says that has ever been to this site! So 100% off the mark it’s comical.
Stacy says:
Beneath Beth? Hmpf. Didn’t know there was a ‘beneath Beth’, she’s like God kind of. Omnipotent, omnipresent and omniscient; in the blogsphere of course. I’ll kill to be her toe lint.
Beth says:
And besides, there are no “facts” in what Hawkins said to refute. Just his opinion. Who said I have to agree with his opinion or attitude? Who said I even have to respect it when he shows a lack of respect himself?
What, you mean I’m supposed to argue against the fact that men “like to look?” Duh. I think it’s hilarious, though, that this is what’s used to excuse all sorts of behavior. It may be a natural function, but so is taking a shi’ite. Most civilized people have decided it’s more respectful, though, to modify their behavior and not shi’ite where ever they happen to be standing. So just because you dudes “like to look” doesn’t mean I have to accept men (er, boys) who ignore what women say if they happen to be attractive.
Missing. The. Point. All of you complainers have TOTALLY missed the point. As usual.
Beth says:
Yowza, Stacy! :mrgreen:
I’m pretty sure you could kick my ass, though! (I’ve seen YOUR pictures, doll!)
sadie says:
Three inch fuse, huh?
HAHAHHAHAAAAAAA!
Raven says:
Russ, I think Hawkins got kind of personal towards Beth. And me.
Don’t mess with us. We’re not stupid women who just sit there to be looked at. Attacking this shows, no it separates, the men from the boys.
Men have a mature outlook on these things- SURE- they like to look but they know how to be classy about it. BOYZ on the other hand look, drool, trip over themselves, point, walk into walls, play with themselves…and all that immature shi’ite. Hawkins is a boy. I bet he still lives with Momma. I hear he is single too- I WONDER WHY.
phin says:
Vinnie, I swear if I see his ‘nads on the Intertubes it’ll be my blood on your hands.
I really like my eyes in tact, please don’t let Hawkins post speed-o pics, please.
Average Guy says:
Beth, you completely missed the point. It is not that men are not interested in what an attractive woman has to say. I guess I should be careful about speaking for all men. As for me, I’m a lot more interested in what an attractive woman has to say than I am in what an unattractive woman has to say. You may think that is just as bad or even worse, but just the same… it’s the truth.
I’ll read blog posts I find interesting whether written by boy or girl. But I don’t have time to check out very many new blogs. So Hawkins has it exactly right that while it might take me months or years to eventually get familiar with an interesting blogger I’m not currently aware of, if I follow a link to an interesting post, and I happen to see the poster is also an attractive female, that blog is getting added to my favorites. That said, if it is a total hottie that posts tripe, I’ll note that she’s hot, and move on, never to return.
Beth says:
Frankly, Average Joe, I’m tired of repeating myself. Go back and read everything I said. And if you can’t handle the fact that I have a farking opinion, sayonara.
And no, you don’t speak for all men. Not even close. Exhibit A: Again, a MAN (Vinnie) wrote this post. Other men have commented here as well who also “get it.”
Finally, this isn’t the first time John Hawkins has written about this shi’ite. Also not even close. Hence my statement (that you apparently didn’t read) that I’ve written that post in different words countless times over the last couple of years. YES, it bothers me, and YES, he keeps doing the same thing. It’s his blog, he can do what he wants. But that doesn’t mean I can’t think IT SUCKS seeing that shi’ite there.
Think about this: Have you ever read the comments over at RWN? Not just in his two chick-bashing posts, in any of them. Look at the bottom-feeders that dwell there. (Not everyone, but a hell of a lot of ‘em.) Just why do you think guys like the ones who hang out at RWN feel so at home there?
JD says:
OMFG! Here it comes, folks - Jeff Gannon, Part Deux!
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Why did Goldstein have to go on house-hunt hiatus before you unc*cking, er, uncorking stuff like that, Beth?!?
“BECAUSE OF THE AWESOME COCK OF HAWKINS!!!”
Spam word = twit. Y’all knew I was around, dintcha?
beth says:
Okay - now I’m really scared. Is he going to be posting pics??:shock:
JD says:
Well, pilgrim, you made the challenge.
Cain’t complain if someone takes you up on it now, can you?
Muslihoon says:
I think the inimitable Jeff Goldstein, Esq., can solve that problem. But he’s conveniently doing something about houses and somesuch.
Beth - and whoever runs this blog - I like your Turing Test words.
Melissa says:
Beth,
Can I assure you that there is not a dude in the blogosphere that I desire to see in a full frontal. Not. One. They can keep their speedos in their high school gym bag, too.
And yes, I dig men. I just prefer tight glutes in jeans. If John Hawkins wants to flaunt that..fine. But if he has a flabby butt he better be ready to hear about it.
Don’t you think it’s the content that counts? If a woman believes that using her cleavage to “entice” men readers violates her feminist ideals, she shouldn’t do it. Or if she does, expect to be called on it ala Feministing.
But if a woman is trying to sell her ideas and uses an attractive picture of herself, is that so wrong? To me it’s just advertising.
The truth is, Michelle Malkin would be ignored on Hot Air if she were an ugly gnome. But an ugly guy wouldn’t do well either. Michelle isn’t using her looks to sell necessarily, but the good looks helps.
Maybe I’m missing something, but I don’t see the big deal. A woman can choose to not use a picture (I don’t) because I want the blog to speak for itself, but if someone else wants to, who cares?
Melissa
Beth says:
Vinnie, you are the best brother evah. I’ll put in a good word with OUR MOTHER for ya. :wink:
Hey, JD? Try reading. Beth (that would be me) didn’t post this, and “beth” is another Beth. (Check the link on her name.)
Basically, you’re ranting to yourself.
Vinnie’s right, though. If you have a great c*ck, you should post it! For the sitemeter! That’s all that matters, right?
/Hi Muslihoon!
Russ says:
Raven - Beth, Vinnie, and the rest here have gotten just as personal, so please spare me the high horse bit. As I’ve seen posted at several sites, why do you assume that because a man notices a woman’s looks, that’s all he sees?
Yes, I noticed Vinnie posted it……on YOUR blog Beth. Does that not make you at least a little responsible?
You’re right. I don’t come around this blog often, and I’m not sure I should anymore. I look for intelligent discussion of conservative issues, perhaps laced with irreverent humor. However, calling people twerps and asking they post pictures of their c*ck don’t qualify in that category.
I’ll admit that there are many at RWN who either have minds incapable of coherent thought or react to criticism with personal remarks, but you are painting with a VERY broad brush. You tried to qualify your remarks, but that’s a little like Howard Dean saying he didn’t mean to insult all southerners when he said he would be the candidate of guys with pickup trucks and confederate flags.
By the tone I am detecting here, I wonder if I should, ever again, open a car door for a woman, help her with her jacket, or comment that she looks nice in that new dress.
SondraK says:
……and nary a
peepvlog from Juggs.Hmmmmmmmmmmm.
Vinnie says:
Nice try, Russ, but you thought I was Beth.
You wrote “Beth” and “you” and “beneath you.”
You didn’t write “Beth” and “your co-bloggers” and “them” or “Vinnie” or “he.”
So, really, it renders your observations as sadly irrelevant.
Russ says:
Vinnie - it’s really good you can read minds and know what’s going on underneath. Maybe that’s why you’ve shown so much interest in another man’s c*ck. Please tell me who’s going to win the world series this year.
Also, thanks for showing me that this blog might not be worth my time. You didn’t refute a single point. This whole thing between this and RWN has gotten personal. Or do you make the claim that referring to someone as a twerp is somehow high minded dialogue? In Beth’s own 11th Commandment, she says attack the position, not the person. Um, where in your post did you do that?
How is any of this helping us? Or has it simply become a “well…*huff*…he started it” kind of thing?
meep says:
(Heh, my word is CUTE.)
Speaking for this particular woman, though, I’m not into the bulge - I’m more of an ass woman. And yes, women do like looking at cute butts. However, if the ass is flabby, I’ll pass.
I wonder how dumb you’ve got to be to be surprised that some women might take umbrage at the suggestion to SHOW US YOUR TITS! I have no beef with women who show off their racks to get blog traffic - that’s their deal - but to suggest that women can’t get traffic without that is a little off-putting, to say the least. Especially as no guys have had to give up pics of the sweet, sweet ass to get the chicks to come running.
Except for Ace. He delivers for the ladies. Oh, baby, hot D&D action!
Beth says:
Russ, how does your sniping “help our side?”
I can GUARANTEE with complete certainty, if you want to bring politics into this discussion, that I’ve done far less to harm our side than just about any blogger out there. Scan the archives.
And guess what? John Hawkins isn’t running for political office, anyway. So really, what we have here is a strawman.
But to address your rant about the post: apparently analogies are not your strong suit. Try.
Finally, you are a hypocrite. You sit here and act as though we should never say anything about another blogger, but I saw you at another blog bad-mouthing me, and doing so based on completely the WRONG POINT! LOL! Blogtard!
Aggressive Tendencies says:
Almost There
Ok. Raise your hand if you want to be the 5000th hit. Laugh if you must, but quality over quantity, baby.
UPDATE: Come on, people! Don’t make me do some c*ck blogging to spike my traffic. That would just start a deb…
Ogre says:
Ok, that’s it.
Time to start hairy white smelly butt-blogging!
richj says:
Ogre,
Do you really want to get hits from Andrew Sullivan that bad?
Average Guy says:
Beth, you wrote that if I can’t handle that you have an opinion, then sayonara. What you really meant to write was, “if you have an opinion that differs from mine, sayonara.” You have attacked me in two threads now for disagreeing with you. I don’t know if this subject is so sensitive for you that you can’t take opposing viewpoints without lashing out or if that is just how you are all the time, but you folks make new readers feel about as welcome as the gang over at Kos.
And yes, I have read the comments section at RWN, and I don’t post there, mostly because the comments generally consist of a troll posting “bush lied” followed by a juvenile back and forth.
Here, I defended John’s post, and am told that if I can’t handle your “farking opinion”, then sayonara. If disagreeing with your opinion equates to an inability to “handle” your “farking opinion”, then I’ll take the hint and spend my blog reading time elsewhere.
Beth says:
AG, sorry, but you came here and completely dismissed my entire argument with “you missed the point” in this post. And what about the dismissive, arrogant attitude you popped in the other post? And you ASSumed that women are all as shallow as YOU are? HAHA! Priceless!
You don’t seem to have read what I wrote at all. Nor do you seem to want to TRY to see where I’m coming from. I absolutely did not miss the point, and his point is what pissed me off. What, did you think you were going to change my mind by telling me I “missed the point?” Funny, almost everyone I’ve seen (male and female, outside RWN comments) has completely understood what I’ve (we’ve!) been saying, and all of us understood John’s point. Loud and clear.
Did it ever occur to you that maybe your opinion is based solely on John’s characterization of me and what I’ve said? You know, since you don’t normally read this blog you don’t know me at all, so I’m guessing you just took what he said (HE missed the point!) at face value. I’m a feminist harpie, in other words. Which really, is farking hilarious.
And frankly, I really don’t care about the opinion or the traffic from people who obstinately refuse to consider me as something other than a shrieking feminist cartoon, or as “just a woman,” which is exactly the manner in which most of you guys have addressed me–like I’m the one who’s wrong, by default. Well, guess what. Say what you want, but I don’t think I’m wrong AT ALL about this–I KNOW how that shi’ite makes me feel, and no arguing is going to change that. In fact, I think my point has been proven rather well, based on the reactions to it (not that I need validation, but it’s a nice thing to be proven right).
And I’ll add another point: there are a hell of a lot of you who apparently don’t have a clue how to treat women, based on your entire lines of argument. Maybe that’s the real reason why you “drive an Aston Martin”–because the way you treat women just isn’t cutting it. (TIP: most adult women these days do have their own cars and are capable of supporting themselves. Think about it.)
Y’all must make your mothers SO proud. LOL
kyer says:
blah blah blah.
I feel like I’m reading a 13 year-old’s MySpace entry.
hehehe
(Just yankin’ your collective crank, no need to unleash the dogs, I’m tender as it is).
Average Guy says:
It’s kind of funny Beth, the commenters who post ‘atta girl’ or ‘what a brilliant and insightful post’ get a lot of ‘hugs and kisses, you’re my hero’ responses from you. Meanwhile, ‘i think you’re wrong’ comments get ‘you can’t handle my farking opinion, so sayonara’.
You assume that the ones who agree with you ‘get it’ and the ones who don’t are just neanderthals. Did you ever consider that all these guys that you think ‘get it’ don’t really get your point, they just know what you want to hear? I don’t read blogs to see boobie pics, there are plenty of places on the internet to find those. I read them because I like to read interesting writing. Still, I interpret Hawkins’s post differently than you, so I’m just a pervert who doesn’t get it. Well, your fans who you think ‘get it’, what they really crave is your approval, and they know exactly how to ‘get it’. The only thing that says about them is that they have low self-esteem.
Beth says:
Nope, that was meant solely and specifically for you, hon’.
:mrgreen:
Average Guy says:
Hmm, that was a pretty mild response. I guess you’re getting over your initial anger at the whole thing. In a way that’s too bad, because this was only entertaining because of the nuclear retaliation to a conventional attack.
Honestly, I think the point that has been missed is that guys can appreciate women for both their beauty and their brains. Noticing that someone is really quite attractive in no way means that I am incapable of also respecting their intellect. In fact, a girl with beauty, brains, and a sense of humor is the ultimate trifecta. The reason you received some negative feedback from your response to John’s post is that it betrayed a lack of humor.
For most guys I know, lacking either great looks or great intellect is forgivable, but lacking a sense of humor is not. You may have a wonderful sense of humor most of the time, in which case it is my loss that I became familiar with you at a time you were decidedly without that sense of humor. Just the same, if the show is over, I’ll do us both a favor and move along.