2005 December | MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy

Archive for December, 2005

Happy New Year!

I was going to say Happy Amateur Night, but that wouldn’t be nice, would it? :mrgreen:

So…happy new year, everyone!

UGH.

Yeah, yeah, I know, I’ve been kinda scarce around here for the last week. A zillion thanks to Mac (and Vinnie!) for holding down the fort while I’ve been ~~slacking~~ busy, and a zillion apologies to those who are awaiting email responses from me (Merri, Holly, Alexandra, Anchoress, etc.). I SWEAR I wasn’t blowing anyone off; I’ve been almost totally off the computer, and when I’ve gotten on, I didn’t even WANT to look at email–it’s gotten ridiculous how much has piled up. I didn’t forget y’all, though.

Anyway, I’m here. Blah. I really don’t have much to say, though, unless y’all want to hear all about what I’ve been doing the last week (which won’t excite you, I promise). Like today, my mother (Ursula Andress/Vivien Leigh/Kobe Bryant???) and I (Halle Berry) were playing with the Face Recognition thing and laughing at my dad (Jacques Chirac!).

So, uh…yeah. Christmas was excellent, and New Year’s Eve looks to be the same as any other Saturday night around here–IOW, nothing going on. New Year’s F–kin’ Eve. What a lame-o “holiday,” anyway. I always said NYE was for dorks who had no life to get out once a year and cut loose. I was wrong; dorks who have no life don’t even get out on NYE. Exhibit A: Me. No matter though; it’s like Drunk Driving Night, and I don’t reeeeally wanna be out dodging the drunks on the road–thanks anyway. Maybe I’ll drunk-blog or something. Probably not, though. (I’m not much of a drinker–I pickled my liver years ago and can’t drink much more than one or two drinks without getting a world-class hangover any more.)

I don’t do New Year’s resolutions, either–never have, never will. Why does everyone do that, anyway? Why not pick any other day to get your shi’ite together? I’d like to be able say “I’ll quit smoking,” but why for the New Year? If I’m not ready today, why would I be on an arbitrary day such as January 1st? Oh–before anyone starts that “you should quit” shi’ite with me–save it. I know, I’ve heard it, OK? I really love smoking. Love. It. Mmmmmm. Cigarettes. I wish it were so easy. If I had absolutely ZERO conscience I would chain-smoke from the time I wake up until I fall asleep–but I do have just enough sense to not do so. Barely.

Speaking of smoking, did you hear this shi’ite about some 400% cigarette tax being proposed in California? What the fark! They said on the news that a pack of cigarettes would cost almost SEVEN DOLLARS? OK, sure, some people will quit smoking, but I gotta wonder, how many people will just say “farkit” and move to Arizona or whatever? And if I lived there, I’d have my brothers or sister or somefarkinone mail me cigarettes, if I couldn’t just leave. I want to know something: what compelling reason is there to even live in California, anyway? It’s too damn expensive, too full of dumbass leftards, actors, and starfarkers, it’s got LA and San Francisco. No thanks. I’ve been there, and saw absolutely zero that would make me want to live there–not even in San Diego (which is, from what I’ve seen, a thousand times better than the rest of the damn state, but it still didn’t impress me). When I lived in Arizona everyone talked about how all the Californians were moving to Arizona and would say, “will the last American to leave California please remember to bring the flag!” Poor Arizona–not only do they get every retiree from north of the Mason-Dixon Line driving around in their white Buicks (if they’re not driving their golf carts down the road), they get flaky Californians who move there and bitch that Arizona isn’t California enough. Like it’s a BAD thing. Heh. F–k California. Hey, I can say that–most Californians would say, “oh, another ignint redneck from Alabammy.” Heh. F–k California. 400% cigarette tax. Save Tookie. Bring the flag. Right. Heh.

OK, what else…Oh, that kid Farris Hassan who flew to Baghdad. Funny! How funny is it that his name is Farris, too–like Ferris Bueller? Isn’t that exactly a Ferris Bueller thing to do? OK, I’m a mother, so yeah, I would have kinda freaked if he were my kid, but you gotta love the kid’s nerve. Sounds like a pretty smart kid, too–here’s an essay he recently wrote.

All right, there’s probably been a lot of good stuff written over the last week around the blogs, but I can’t possibly link to all of it. Apparently a bunch of people are doing year-end type of things, but I’m lazy. Lazy as hell. Maybe I’ll put together an obligatory “It’s Just Another Day But With a 6 Instead Of a 5″ post, or something. Really, all New Year’s Eve/Day means to me is it’s getting closer to MARDI GRAS! (What? Were you thinking New Orleans? Heh. Mobile’s Mardi Gras is and always has been FAR better–it’s America’s best-kept secret.)

OK, enough stream-of-consciousness-blogging. More later. Maybe.

Oh yeah. Haha, I changed the default theme again. Tough. It’s dumbass New Year’s Eve and I wanna wear a little black dress. Maybe some day I’ll actually stick with one theme.

“Oh yeah” #2: Don’t think I didn’t notice THIS. Hmph! *

New Year’s Resolutions for Women

~~HA!~~ No, it’s not really funny, except for the commentary. It would be funny if it weren’t real.

Hey you (cough) “liberals” (cough), where’s the moral outrage? Or is it “wrong” to make a moral judgement about another society?

As you know, I LOVE smart women

And, apparently, gay men LIKE them.

Yeah, it’s another contest dealie. And for once, I DON’T have to divide my loyalty between 378 different people.

Only two. Dangit.

Alright, people, here be the deal, I got two ~~dogs~~ extremely smart, good-looking women in this ~~hunt~~ contest.* Sondra K and Pamela both got their claws in me deep, and I just can’t pick just one.

Cotillion Floozy™ rules and stuff.

Anyways, pick one, AND DON’T TELL ME WHO YOU PICKED, and go vote for your Favorite Conservative Blogress Diva!!!

Oy. Why must you always MAKE ME CHOOSE?!?

* Oh, man, as soon as I read that, I realized that, as most of America isn’t from the rural South, ya’ll won’t have a clue what that mean. Saying “I got two dogs in the hunt” means that I got two contestants in the running. Sorry for any confusion!

Really! Sorry!

**UPDATE:** Uh, yeah, I forgot to mention that it’s over at 6 tomorrow, so ya gotta vote NOW!!!!

If you’re wondering how come is it you’re getting pounded, hard

..with traffic, people, get your mind out of the gutter. I was listening to ~~Tony Snow~~ Roger Hedgec*ck on Rush Limbaugh, and he was talking about getting real stories from the troops overseas. Well, I got on the private email dealie and…

Just speaks of my magical linking powers. And, then there’s the Rush 24/7 people tonight. I’m thrilled he said that.

Couldn’t happen to a nicer site. Milblogging.com

Note: Title clarified, & name fixed. Geez, I get people linked, is that not enough?

Will the Bush Administration’s evil cookie rampage ever stop?

White House Web Site Uses Forbidden Cookies Too

I would explain the fundamental of cookie tracking, web bugs, statistical analysis, how to track your movement on the internet, but it’s not 1996. We thoroughly covered it back then. Find some old websites to find out what a cookie does.

Here’s one tidbit, wonder why they all end in 2033 or 2038? Because there’s one of them laws you need to Google up yourself, and it says that you can’t have a cookie that goes past that date. Thus, even spammer cookies end in 2038.

And, here’s another tidbit. When you viewed this site, you gave me an IP address, your internet location. You also gave me your screen size, what kind of browser you’re using, and what country you came from. You also told me whether or not you accepted the cookies from *this* site. Not that we could do anything with that information, it’s pretty tough to tell much of anything, other than “you where here.”

Then again, you don’t need a cookie to find that out.

**UPDATE:** Copycat

Ruminations On Conservatism

It was something about the Katrina coverage. There, in front of the world, was a solidarity of compassion; Bush 41 was standing with Clinton 42. The symbolism was that there are things that are neither Left or Right, that we need to come together to do some things. But there’s something not quite right about the picture.

The former Presidents representing “both sides” of the political spectrum really don’t. This is what’s wrong: Bush is a moderate centrist, and Clinton is moderate leftist. But beyond that, Bush isn’t really thought of in high regard (overshadowed by Ronald Reagan), while Clinton is the hero of the Democratic Party. It was that perception of weakness, along with raising taxes, that led to his defeat during his re-election bid in 1992.

Even now, the two families appear to have some odd alliance. While it’s not ideological, it’s telling that the Bushs can befriend the Clintons, even if it is just because of their position. It’s that casual relationship that got me thinking about just what Conservatives believe these days.

A while ago, Rush Limbaugh, on his radio show, detailed how he had to describe some of the pillars of Conservatism. As I thought about it that weekend, I really couldn’t name, off-hand, what they are. Sure, I can rattle off “lower taxes, dead terrorists,” but what are they, really? My own ignorance is altogether too common.

Oh, and let’s get real, going to Wikipedia may not be your best bet. Especially if it’s now 2:30 in the morning, and you’re stumped as to where to get information. But maybe that’s because I’m being to general, I should focus on the party that claims Conservatism as it’s own, the Republicans.

Golly, after figuring out the toolbar at the Republican Party website, motherloade of info in the I got this 2004 Republican Party Platform. And you had me at “hello:”

RONALD REAGAN
believed that people were basically good, and had the right to be free.
He believed that bigotry and prejudice were the worst things a person could be guilty of.
He believed in the Golden Rule and in the power of prayer.
He believed that America was not just a place in the world, but the hope of the world.
As Ronald Wilson Reagan goes his way, we are left with a joyful hope he shared.
May God bless Ronald Reagan and the country he loved.

That’s a quote from President George W. Bush at Ronald Reagan’s Funeral Service in 2004. It was another defining moment in my life, as the President on which I base all my political philosophies was laid to rest. A discussion with my father revealed some things to me.

We talked about how he was activated in 1961 as part of the Berlin Wall crisis. He told me about how John F. Kennedy ran on a platform of lower taxes, and strong military. It was one of the reasons that he was happy to go (to France, the jerk). He believed that he was doing the right thing.

We’d discussed, at length my Summer Camp in the desert, and how it only emboldened my patriotism. I believed, and still believe, that one of the responsibilities that America has now is to spread freedom around the world. As we talked, I grew more aware that the greatness of Reagan was not that he found out some great truth that was yet undiscovered, but that Conservatism is truly a defined set of goals. I was reminded that he called the Vietnam conflict “a just war,” as it was just another example of that pillar of strong national defense.

Another pillar that Reagan reminded us of was economic responsibility. He took a lot of flack for what was affectionately called “Reaganomics.” I found one definition from William A. Niskanen The Concise Encyclopedia of Economics:

“Reaganomics” was the most serious attempt to change the course of U.S. economic policy of any administration since the New Deal. “Only by reducing the growth of government,” said Ronald Reagan, “can we increase the growth of the economy.” Reagan’s 1981 Program for Economic Recovery had four major policy objectives: (1) reduce the growth of government spending, (2) reduce the marginal tax rates on income from both labor and capital, (3) reduce regulation, and (4) reduce inflation by controlling the growth of the money supply. These major policy changes, in turn, were expected to increase saving and investment, increase economic growth, balance the budget, restore healthy financial markets, and reduce inflation and interest rates.

In his campaign, George W. Bush tried to channel Reagan, and for that matter, John F. Kennedy, and anybody else who had the same idea of getting the government out of your pocket. Unfortunately, Bush didn’t have the luxury of 8 years of low-level conflicts to really play with those economic theories. In two wars, and facing a rebuilding of major portion of the Gulf Coast, plans for more fiscal policies have been curtailed. However, even with all the the detractors, the economy is improving beyond some people’s expectations, considering.

I started writing this in September, long before the current news about the economy came out. I was trying to figure a way to make it sound as timeless as possible; but, it can’t really be taken out of time. There is no way to remove the President from his circumstance.

How are we going to judge President Bush, without first looking at the situation he was in, and his response to it? Doing what was in the best interests of his countrymen, doing what was right. He saw that we were at war, and we needed to get our enemy where they were.

It was a tough decision, one the he’s taken sole responsibility. I wrote a while ago about how there are pillars of conservatism, basics that define what we believe. Doing the right thing, and taking responsibility for your decisions, more than anything else, that’s what I believe conservatism is.

A Prank After My Own Heart

It doesn’t quite match up to the old crap in a bag on fire, but it will do:

Three days before Christmas, a Palos Heights woman got quite a shock when she opened a package that arrived for her at home.

She quickly realized it wasn’t a gift from Santa Claus, as the tag said.

“I picked it up, it was red and squishy,” said Kelly, 18, who asked that her last name not be used. “Then I saw an eyeball looking at me, and I freaked out.”

The box contained an animal’s bloody head.

Palos Heights police believe it was a prank but are continuing their investigation.

Kelly, a freshman at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, is a vegan and does not eat any animal products. Her best friend and boyfriend also are vegans, and many of their friends are vegetarians.

“I’ve been asking all my friends, and I don’t know anybody who would do something like this,” she said. “My friends would all know that I take being a vegan seriously and wouldn’t find it funny.”

I find it hilaroius. Payback is a motherfarker.

Don’t be sad for the animal, if you read the article, it was most likely properly devoured by rational, human type creatures.

But this line at the end has me snorting beer through my nose:

“It’s just horrible,” she said. “I never thought that someone would do something like this in real life. It’s like something you’d see in a movie.”

No, darlin’, you wouldn’t see this in a movie. No self-loathing Hollywood leftard would make a movie detailing the suffering of animals released to certain death by the Animal Liberation Front. No Hollywood studio would film the thousands of worthy pets slaughtered each year by PeTA owned shelters. No bleatasticfarktard of a Hollywood director would ever chronicle on celluloid how the Sioux Indians would stampede Bison off a cliff.

You should be grateful, it’s the only head you’ll ever get.

365 and a Wakeup: Elections - Part IV

Elections Day

Yooohoooo

Beth, check your phone messages.

OUR MOTHER, if you see this before your daughter, ask her to check her phone messages.

Or email.

thankyouiloveyouallgoodnight.

And you thought that Christmas thing was over

Okay, so I’m not much into conspiracy theories, but I got this one, and let me tell ya, I was NOT expecting that.

Look, I don’t know where you are with this “War on Christmas,” but this is just the thing you need to hear if you’ve been paying attention to the whole thing. It’s that important; you need to hear this.

The best revenge

Just got a link from John Hawkins at Right Wing News, and I was set to take off on an 800 word piece, tearing a new hole in this “person.”

In fact, when I wrote about this “person” and his acts with SPC Joshua Sparling, I thought I’d just leave that guy alone forever. He’s not worth the effort, a miserable person who’s going to live out his live a shameful, bitter person.

And, not gonna get any traffic from me.

**UPDATE:** Vinnie points out this site that takes me from deep seeded hatred, to just downright pity.

It’s a week of symmetry for me, the ACLU, and the NSA

Stop The ACLU (which has also had a lot of extras stuff to do here lately) gives us the news that ACLU has launched a propaganda attack on President Bush over the NSA and the wiretapping “scandal.”

They are hoping to bring out the good old days, when they could get rid of people who didn’t believe what they believed. How they could take a scandal, and make somebody resign. They want their dwindling power back.

Got a scoop for ya, folks: it’s not gonna happen. You’re not gonna “get Bush” and you’re not gonna take down “the man.” You’re not gonna do it.

It’s an obvious, petty, and sad attempt to try and fool some people in America into believing your impartial nature. And I question you why, ACLU? Because there’s no Bill Clinton on that picture.

**HE** was impeached. Nixon resigned, for doing something that we wouldn’t consider all that bad today. And President Nixon felt disgraced, and had great remorse the rest of his life. Clinton’s acting like nothing ever happened.

I’m personally tired of ya. You’re a small-minded organization, with tons of political and legislative power, and you can bully folks into whatever you want. But it’s not going to work this time.

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! NSA USES COOKIES!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

THE NSA WEBSITE USES COOKIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT’S ALL A PLOT! IT’S ALL A PLOT!!!!!!! THEY’RE GONNA TRACK YOU, AND MAKE YOU KNOW WHAT THEY DID - NO - THEY ARE GONNA KNOW WHAT YOU DID!!!!! IN 2035!!!!!!!!!

KARL ROVE!!! GEORGE BUSH!!!! HALIBURTON!!!

DICK CHENEY DICK CHENEY DICK CHENEY DICK CHENEY DICK CHENEY DICK CHENEY DICK CHENEY DICK CHENEY DICK CHENEY DICK CHENEY DICK CHENEY DICK CHENEY DICK CHENEY DICK CHENEY DICK CHENEY DICK CHENEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

(And, just to let you know I haven’t gone totally stark-raving mad [totally], might wanna check the expiration date on that Google cookie)

**UPDATE:** NO BLOOD FOR OIL!!!!!!! OPTIONAL UNJUST WAR ON INNOCENTS!!!!!!

NEXT THING YOU KNOW, THE IRS WILL WANT TO KNOW HOW MUCH YOU MAKE, THE POLICE WILL KEEP TABS OF YOUR SPEED, AND BANKS WILL MONITOR HOW MUCH MONEY IS IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT!!!!!!!

IT’S A CONSPIRACY!!!!!! OH **MY**!!!! THIS IS JUST SOME **VAST**, HIDDEN, SECRET **RIGHT-WING** FUNDAMENTALIST, CAPITALIST **CONSPIRACY**!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!