2005 November | MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy

Archive for November, 2005

Bob Parks: Screw Disabled Veterans

As you know, ya’ll come to this site for two reasons: first to see funny pictures and movies (sometimes NSFW), and secondly to hear Beth rant about something. What is slightly less well known, is that many people also click the freakin’ links we put on this site. This would be one of them link-clickin’ times.

Bob Parks is really upset about Indiana Congressman Steve Buyer, who is now the Chairman of the House Committee on Veterans’ Affairs. In Screw Disabled Veterans, Parks points out that it appears that Buyer is being against fully funding the Veterans Administration.

And to this, I’m torn. You see, until recently, I was under the care of the VA, because of my neck and other things. Beth is still under their system for various reasons. For those of us that needed the system, we’ve found it to be an incredible blessing.

But I also realize that the VA is a giant monster institution, full of the expected dross and sloth that seems to occur. There are things they can do better, more cheaply. That said, I broke my neck in Iraq, and I got two years of benefits. Fair?

Now, I have a very mild condition, it’s really no skin off my nose; being medically discharged is more frustrating that my permanent neck pain. But I understand how this can be considered a good time to cut some fat from one of the larger parts of the budget. It was when I started reading the details from Parks’ article that I saw something wasn’t jiving:

On November 8th, Buyer announced that VA budget hearings would be moved up from March to February of next year, and only in front of the House Committee on Veterans Affairs instead of the “traditional House and Senate venue.” He said this was to “ensure that veterans have greater input in the (VA’s budget) process.”

Here’s the problem: For the last 55 years Veterans Service Organizations have been invited to testify before the joint session of the HCVA and Senate Committee on Veterans’ Affairs. As chair, Buyer will now limit veteran’s input and ice the Senators who are directly involved in the VA budget process. By moving up the dates of testimony, veterans will only be able to present partial information necessary to the debate.

It doesn’t sound kosher to me. It just doesn’t sound right. And, yet, it sounds completely typical.

One of the saddest things, that is normal in human nature, is to praise the victorious hero, and shun broken one. What’s important to remember is that this is not a done deal, and he also shows a way to contact Buyer.

Okay…back to the silliness…

WTW: HE’S BEULAHTIFUL!!!

White Trash Wednesday

OMIGOD OMIGOD THANK U BA JEFFY U DONE FOUND ME A MAN WHO UNDER STAND’S WIMMEN LIKE ME AND WILL TAKE CARE OF LIL OL BEULAH MAE!!! HE IS BEULAHTIFUL!!!!!! HE KIN BE MY TICKIT. OUTTA THIS DAM TRAILOR PARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

White Trash Wednesday (!)

White Trash Wednesday

BEULAH MAE!!!! HAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY YA’ALL’S LOOSER’S!!!!

I NO YA’ALL’S MIST ME DINT YA!!! HAHAAAAHAAAA!!!!

WELL THAT MISS BETH THAT BITCH SHE DONE GOT ME LOCKEDED UP A CUPPLE MONTH’S AGO CUZ OF THAT SKANKEY HARRIETT MYERS!!! I FELT SORREY FER HER SO’S I ROAD WITH MY BOY FREIND HE AINT MY BOY FIREND NO MORE THO BUTT WE ROAD OVOR TO DALLAS SO’S I COULD GIVE HER A MAKE OVOR LIKE I DONE WITH THAT THAIR RUTH BADOR GINSBERGER CUZ HAYY WE GAL’S AINT GITTIN NO WARE LOOKIN ALL PLANE YA’ALL’S NO WUT IM SAYIN’??? OPPS THAT DAM CAP’S LOCK!!!! ok so’s me an my EX!!!!! preston well he wuz just a flang with a bad ass harly butt ne-wayz we road to dallis and coutnt find miss myers so we thot we wood go lookin fer her freeky self down at AND YA’ALL’S AINT GONNA BLEEVE THIS!!! the prezident’s ranch!!!! but we coutnt git thair cuz alla these goddam HIPPY’S were all ovor the place!!!!!!!! so me an PRESTIN we got in a little ole scrappin with them goddamn hippy’s they just all pisssin in the road and eatin bug’s in the ditch so’s thay coud look poor and THAY AINT NO POOR LET ME TELL U thay’s livin large with computor’s and eye pod’s and all kinds a CRAP and TV ppl luvvin on them ugly stanky hippy’s and thair head hippy some damn MAN with a name like CINDY I MEAN WHAT THE FARK!!!!! WHAT KINDA MAN IS NAME’D CINDY!!!!! I KEPT SAYIN SID LIKE “HAY SID VISHIS WHY U IN THIS PORTA POTTY LINE FER GAL’S” BUT THAT BASTERD TOOK IT ALL PERSONAL and start’d screemin at me so i hadda nock his ass out back in that dam ditch ware he blong!!!!! and it wuz hillareus cuz ole hippy “cindy” man fight’s like a dam ole lady!!!! LOLLL!!!! oh and PRESTOM he was THE MAN he kicked all kinda hippy ass like this farkin doosh bag JIMMIE MASS or some shi’ite prolly MASS murderor or somethin ne-wayz he wuz talkin big shi’ite about what a HEROE he wuz and wavin his gangelly arms around and “by misteak” (he said) he nock’d preston’s beer outta his hand in the porta potty line so prestin opened up a CASE of WHOOPASS on that godam hippy!!!! LOLL!!! ne-wayz it was grate untill one of them hippy’s started freeeeeeeeking out on her drug’s and then the cop’s came and halled us off to the slammer cuz alla them stopid hippy’s and TV ppl lyed and said we aint blong thair and wuz startin fights and shi’ite!!!! witch may be true butt at LEAST we aint doin no damn drug’s and burnin no flag’s and harassin’ the naybors!!!! and shi’itetin and pissin in the road like them nasty ass hippy’s!!!!

so ne-wazy we never got to miz harriett’s make ovor. AND SEE?!!!! U GO ROUND LOOKIN ALL CRAZEE AND LOOK!!! U AINT GITTIN NO WARE!!! WHAD I TELL YA’LL!!! now she aint no senator like she wuz sposed to be and some eyetalyun man from some ware up north is gonna be a senator butt he’s prolly ok i GUESS butt maybe i kin just fix up his hair or somethin. i dunno. waht evor.

so ne-wayz i hope ya’ll dint’ miss me to bad. ill try to drag up some more pitchers of are trip to TEX-ASS but i no ya’ll’s are gonna laff at this won this wuz some ho i had to whopp ass on cuz she wuz all tryin to steel PRESTIN but i fixed her FAT ASS lets just say wen i slammed a pickup in to her car them air bag’s aint the best thang fer a FAT ASS like her!!!!!!!LOLL!!!!!!!! presston wuz laffin when he took this pitcher butt i bet u kin geuss wat he’s laffin at!!!! LOLL!!!

Airbags
OK so ne-wayz PRESSTON AINT my man no more he done run off with FISTY butt thats OK cuz we’s like sister’s we shair are men alla time un till we’s done with them. SO NOW I GOT’S TO FIND ME A NOTHOR MAN. MISTER AARON HE’S RUNNIN SOME RACKIT WITH MISS BETH THAT BITCH AND IMA GONNA SNAG ME A KING ER JACK (DANIEL’S!) OF HEART’S!!! WHY AINT U GO OVOR AND FIND ME A MAN PLEEEEEEASE AND NOT NO FARKIN STANKY HIPPY!!!!!!!!! NOW GO ON YA’LL’S GIT!!!!

LOVE AND KISS’S

BEULAH MAE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH YAH AND GO SEE THEM OTHOR FOAK’S ROUND THE TRAILOR PARK YA’LL’S (BUTT FIRST GO FIND ME A MAN!!!!)

Saddam’s Prison Complaints

Sorry about the random posting and ridiculously late-night commenting and emails the last few days. My sleep schedule’s all FUBAR because I was up all night a few days/nights/whatever it was watching the Saddam trial coverage on TV at an ungodly hour. And yeah, as usual, he bitched.

They took my special pen! Those foreigners made me wear handcuffs! Waaah!!! You wouldn’t believe the nonsense he whined about.

This stupid email is still going around???

My mother sent this, saying, “I can’t believe this scam is still circulating!”
No kidding. Worse, it was about the tenth forward in the last couple of days. People are so farking stupid. I mean it’s not like my mother is an internets geek or sits around reading and forwarding email all day–she doesn’t even know Snopes, as far as I know.

People are so farking stupid. (Oh yeah, I already said that.)

Don’t Know how true this is but it doesn’t hurt to try, and hope that it is.
Lorena

THIS TOOK TWO PAGES OF THE TUESDAY USA TODAY - IT IS FOR REAL

Kathy South Alcoa - EHS Maintenance Coordinator, Phone: 765/771 - 3547 Pager
: 765/420 - 6575

To all of my friends, I do not usually forward messages, But this is from my
friend Pearlas Sandborn and she really is an attorney.

If she says that this will work - It will work. After all, What have you got
to lose?

SORRY EVERYBODY.. JUST HAD TO TAKE THE CHANCE!!!
I’m an attorney, And I know the law.! This thing is for real. Rest assured AOL and Intel will follow through with their promises for fear of facing a multimillion-dollar class
action suit similar to the one filed by Pepsi Co. against General Electric not too long ago.

Dear Friends;
Please do not take this for a junk letter. Bill Gates is sharing his
fortune. If you ignore this, You will repent later.
Microsoft and AOL are now the largest Internet companies and in an effort to
make sure that Internet Explorer remains the most widely used program,
Microsoft and AOL are running an e-mail beta test.
When you forward this e-mail to friends, Microsoft can and will track it (If
you are a Microsoft Windows user) For a two weeks time period.

For every person that you forward this e-mail to, Microsoft will pay
you $245.00 For every person that you sent it to that forwards it on,
Microsoft will pay you $243.00 and for every third person that receives it,
You will be paid $241.00. Within two weeks, Microsoft will contact you for
your address and then send you a check.

Regards. Charles S Bailey General Manager Field Operations
1-800-842-2332 Ext. 1085 or 904-1085 or RNX 292-1085

Charles_Bailey@c sx.com Charles_bailey@csx.com

Thought this was a scam myself, But two weeks after receiving this e-mail
and forwarding it on. Microsoft contacted me for my address and within days,
received a check for $24,800.00 . You need to respond before the beta testing
is over. If anyone can affoard this, Bill Gates is the man.

It’s all marketing expense to him. Please forward this to as many people as
possible. You are bound to get at least $10, 000.00 We’re not going to help
them out with their e-mail beta test without getting a little something for
our time. My brother’s girlfriend got in on this a few months ago. When i
went to visit him for the Baylor/UT game. She showed me her check. It was
for the sum of $4,324.44 and was stamped “Paid in full”

Like i said before, I know the law, and this is for real.

People are so farking stupid.

Here’s an idea: everyone should hit their email address books with the address to snopes.com and tell people to USE it. At the very least, send it to those who are afraid of the computer. You know who they are. PLEASE.

NOMINATIONS FOR KING AND JACK OF HEARTS

Time to make nominations for King and Jack of Hearts in Aaron’s Deck o’ Bloggers!

Get over there now and make your nominations! Go!

Four Western Hostages in Iraq Identified; Video and Images

Not here, but at The Jawa Report.

Rusty Shackelford has exclusive video and images of the four western hostages that were recently abducted in Iraq. The video shows American Thomas Fox of Clear Brook Virginia, Canadian Harmeet Singh Sooden, who resides in Auckland, New Zealand, British citizen Norman Kember, and some one who appears to identify himself as James Loni (last name unclear) of Canada.

The four are peace activists, and it’s curious (not really) that there are no “anti-war” sympathizers with anything to say about the hostages. I’ll say this: I emphatically believe they were WRONG in their mission in Iraq, but nobody deserves to be taken hostage by a bunch of head-chopping animals.

Creatively Stealing Somebody Else’s Idea

Click to see it full size. (Warning, contains bad words and snakes…who think they can go wherever they want!)

(Totally stolen from Penny Arcade!)

Phoning it in

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
Uhh…sorry, I’m going to be a little busy this morning. Here are a couple links in the meantime.

Flannels Media: For grunge bloggers like me!

The Dullest Blog in the World (even duller than mine!) - h/t Urthshu, in comments at Ace’s post about another dull blog.

The World’s Ugliest Dog died last week. Rest in peace, Sam, you hideous creature.

Blogfodder for my blogk!

Something tells me MacStansbury is “single, lonely, and looking” and asking for real advice. Heh.

Who should Bush bomb next?

Sweet Home Alabama!

OK, that’s it for right now. By the way, I know I haven’t blogged shi’ite about politics or the news lately. I just haven’t felt like it. Go read Malkin or someone if you want that stuff for now (like you don’t anyway?). My VERY short take on the news: Ted Rall and Ramsey Clark are about on the same level as Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden, Benedict Arnold, and Jeffrey Dahmer. A waste of oxygen and an open, festering wound on humanity. Thatisall.

Paris Hilton is an idiot

I know, NEWSFLASH.

Paris Hilton believed ‘Santa’ was real until 17!

London | November 25, 2005 5:17:19 PM IST

Hotel heiress Paris Hilton has reportedly onfessed that she believed in Santa Claus until she was 17 years ld.

The Simple Life star, who recently broke off her engagement with Greek shipping heir Paris Latsis claiming she was too young to get married, has revealed that she always treasured the Christmas holidays, until somebody shattered her childhood illusions, by telling her there is no such thing as ‘Santa Clause’.

OMFG. And I thought her “devastation” about having her (illegal) pet monkey taken away was stupid. Or this shi’ite:

Can she be any stupider?

♥ Santa!

Taking my lemonade to the (Cotillion) party

Hey, I know I didn’t write squat last week (ok, this week either, so far) that was worth anything. So what do I do? Make lemonade out of those lemons, and take it to a party! :mrgreen:

What can I say, leave it to me to raise a little ruckus in normally-polite (at least in public) company. This week’s Cotillion roundup is being hosted at Darleen’s Place! It’s a little shorter than usual this week because most of us were kinda occupied with other things, like Thanksgiving (duh!).

What are you still doing here? Get outta here and go catch up at Darleen’s!

Happy Murthday!

Did nobody think of that while I was gone? Or did I miss it?

I had a whole week of no internet, I’m sure somebody thought of that. A little take-off on Merry Fitzmas.

Come on, tell me somebody thought of that.

Bear with the theme switching around here

I’m going to be changing the default theme every once in a while here just to show off all of my theme loveliness for the real Weblog Awards.

Let me know if you get wonky shi’ite with any of them, please, and let me know what screen resolution and browser you’re using. Thanks!

Help! My piece of shi’ite car died AGAIN

Well, this morning’s been a real blast already.

My piece of shi’ite car DIED (again) in the traffic lane where I drop off the little princess at school, totally screwing up traffic flow for everyone else. And of course, I didn’t have my purse or cell phone with me. And of course, I was wearing a ratty old shirt and boxer shorts and sandals that most definitely do not match the mismatched shirt and boxers. OK, I don’t really care that much about the clothes, but damn…if I hadn’t been at the school, it would have been a REAL problem. (This has happened before way across town, and I had just barely managed to put on a pair of jeans instead of running out in boxers since I thought I wouldn’t have to get out of the car–wrong!)

In the last three months I’ve had to replace two tires because of CRAP on the roads (thanks, Katrina, for that first one). And now this. Less than a month from the princess’ birthday and Christmas, no less. Anyway, I got a jump and I made it home, so for right now, it’s OK.

Anyone out there who knows something about cars FOR REAL? Please don’t just say, “Oh, it sounds like the alternator.” That doesn’t tell me anything. Here’s the deal: whenever it’s been rainy and VERY humid, my car tends to stall out. Like I said, a jump will start it, but my battery IS NOT OLD. I just got it about six months ago, because I thought mine needed replacing (because of this long-standing problem). The guy who jumped the car this morning at the school opened up the battery and said the water in it was low (?) so he poured some water in it. I don’t know jack about cars, but I had never heard of this. I’m not questioning what he said, I just don’t understand it. And why the hell does my car flake out when the weather has been really wet?

For the record, it’s a ‘96 Volvo (shut up, it’s paid for and it gets decent gas mileage), so I don’t know if this is a known problem with them (like crappy air conditioning or whatever).

Is this going to cost me a fortune? I just want to have a clue so I don’t get the usual “dumb female customer” treatment from an asshole auto mechanic. (Usually I end up saying no to about half the stuff they say I “need” because either I know it’s bullshi’ite, or I have no clue but my bullshi’ite radar goes off.)

Anyone have any ideas?

Blogging About Blogging

First off, I can’t stand blogging about blogging. Everyone’s got their own opinions about any given element of blogging, and it’s a waste of time trying to resolve those differences. You may not agree with my opinions, and that’s fine. Just don’t go freaking out about it; IT’S JUST A BLOG.

I used to like blogs and being a part of the blog world, because most bloggers are much better-informed than the general public, and I can discuss things with others who actually know what I’m talking about. To some extent, I still do, but I guess I’ve become disillusioned by it after only a year and a half. Some decidedly negative thoughts on recent blog buzz:

Pajamas Media.

Why does everyone care so much about what someone else is doing? Why has it become such a target? I’m not in it, and I know my blogging style isn’t in the “mainstream” of what they do. So what? Why do so many people sound so bitter that they aren’t included? I mean really, first (~~some~~ many) people bitch that they weren’t invited, then they rip on the whole idea. If it sucks, why do you even want to be a part of it? I just don’t get it–but then I’ve never understood the point in complaining about exclusion and then talking about how bad the “exclusive” (whatever) entity is. I also don’t get why some people have started ripping on individual bloggers in PJM, when they clearly used to like them. Now you don’t, because of PJM? WTF?

PJM bloggers, you’re not off the hook, either. SOME of you are acting like jackasses, calling all of your critics “jealous.” Please. There are, believe it or not, some things that warrant criticism, such as the non-existent mission statement or roadmap–IOW, the details. Just because some people question this or the “OSM” mess, doesn’t mean they’re jealous. Get over yourselves.

And that’s all I have to say about Pajamas Media. I wish them well and hope they can have some beneficial impact on the media or the internet or whatever it is they’re trying to do.

Open Trackback Posts.

I was sick of this subject about two minutes after I got the first breathless, hysterical email about N.Z. Bear not counting empty “trackback parties” in the ecosystem. Don’t like it? Write something worth linking to. Some of us used to do open trackbacks because we’re lazy or didn’t have time to write anything else, but it’s patently obvious others had different goals. Quit trying to deny it–you look foolish. Nobody’s buying it, in some of your cases. I’m amused by the “it’s not fair to smaller blogs” whine, where the whiners are missing the obvious point that 99.9% of bloggers have gotten their places in the ecosystem due to having link-worthy posts or by actually linking relevant content to another blogger’s post. Is it fair that you, Mr. Trackback Party, have catapulted to the upper echelons of the ecosystem above them? I vote NO, emphatically so.

I’m only even writing about this because I need to vent. Otherwise, I couldn’t care less. It’s just more damn whining–and worse, anyone whining about “it’s not fair” makes me want to vomit. Life isn’t fair. Deal with it.

Stuff like this is what prompted the “Bad Blog Awards” post, which has some interesting comments, to say the least–although shockingly fewer than I would expect from bloggers and commenters. (Chicken?) Basically, blogging about blogging, blog-fights (to include asinine “de-linkings”) and bloggers trying to claw their way to the top of the ant hill by being a pain in the ass totally disgust me. In many ways, I’m embarrassed to be thought of as a “blogger.” If someone were to ask me In Real Life if I were a blogger, I’d hate to answer the question.

Why? Because of a few reasons:

Most blogs just suck. (I don’t exclude myself from this.)
Most bloggers take themselves WAY too seriously.
Many bloggers thing they’re going to be famous by blogging. HA! Ask your mom, “who is Glenn Reynolds?” Or better yet, ask who Markos Moulitsas Zúniga (or even just plain “Kos”) is–he’s got the most traffic, after all. You could even ask a lot of people who Michelle Malkin is and get a blank stare (which is a shame, really, but it’s true).
Too many bloggers have ridiculously thin skin. In fact, they far outnumber those who don’t. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the damn ~~kitchen~~ blogosphere. Nobody likes a self-pitying crybaby or someone who constantly bickers with other bloggers or commenters.
This is a huge gripe of mine: too many damn extremists. Even the so-called “moderates” or “centrists” are extremists. It’s such a JOKE. And worse, as the Commissar has noted before, the blogosphere rewards extremism rather than rational thought and logical thoughts that reflect a grasp of reality. Maybe it doesn’t bother you, but I personally think pure ideologues of all stripes are a bunch of clowns that need to get out and experience reality rather than the “what ifs” that exist in their daydreams. Snap out of it! And what’s going to happen with this point? I’ll be called “wishy-washy,” a “RINO,” or worse. Heh.

OK, I’m dragging this out too much because I’ve already written something like this before. The whole purpose of this is to basically explain some of the reasons for the “Bad Blog Awards” and the accompanying bad attitude I have about the blogosphere. So now that I’ve blown off a little steam, maybe I can get back into this thing.

F.E.T.E.

Older Entries