Mmm…ham sandwich…

Whilst chatting away on the internets, the big story (right underneath this one, EDIT: jeez, two below this one) shows up, hours after I wrote this story, and set it to post in the morning. After some editing, it still works. Little did I know that I would run headlong into another analogy.

While I was in the process of writing a story about how the indictment of Tom DeLay was about as worthless a thing as me signing up for eHarmony. Mainly because I’m beating the chicks off with a stick right now, and because one of the few that isn’t after me, The American Princess, totally has me covered:

There’s a saying that grand juries would indict a ham sandwich if they could (though, ironically, they have a very difficult time with Karl Rove), and they usually do. Grand juries are bunches of your peers who are convened to decide whether there is enough evidence to charge someone with a crime. Not convict. Charge. Grand juries rarely don’t charge, since just about every citizen who gets called to sit on one, is a citizen who wants to sit on one, and that’s a lot of power to give the guy who runs the doughnut shop.

People with vendettas love grand juries, mostly because they love to get back at people who have screwed them, and grand juries are the ultimate in PR trash–you need literally nothing to get indicted by one, but in the public eye, getting that pink slip is about as attractive a notion as can be.

Now, I’ll let it be known that I love sandwiches. Especially ham sandwiches. But as I was explaining my latest brilliant rip-off of someone else’s material, I came across, purely by accident, an epiphany. I wrote, “anybody can indite a ham sandwich, if they want to.” And in my utter brilliance, I didn’t even realize I spelled it that way.

Notice, I didn’t say I spelled it incorrectly, just that I spelled it that way. In fact, you could assume that I was talking about an accusation to a lunchtime favorite. But I wasn’t. What I was saying was that I could write “a ham sandwich.” It’s that subtlety that will be lost on people. It’s that subtlety that lets them dance around Tom DeLay without actually charging him with anything. It’s that subtlety that will allow the Dems to make hay, even while the people continue to constantly move their votes Right-er and Christian-er.


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