MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy

This is too funny (NSFW!)

• Posted by Beth on September 14th, 2005 filed in Funny, General    

OK, I was doing a Google search last night on American Heritage Girls, which I read about at a certain pro-life site that I regularly read. Let’s just say how amazingly FAR off the original topic you can get on the internet sometimes. Note to anyone who got here from a similar search or looking for pro-life content: this post is NOT what you’re looking for, OK? (Hey, I warned you–just be glad I’m keeping my language clean.)

Still, this is hilarious. The link goes to a very NSFW site, so I’ll post this “below the fold.” Please, if you’re at work, don’t click the link–you are NOT supposed to be at sites like this! (You won’t get fired for reading what I’ve copied below, though. No pictures there.) ;-)

Real LifeCyber Sex 8

bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
DirtyKate: : OK, but don’t tell anybody
DirtyKate: : Who are you?
bloodninja: I’ve got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
bloodninja: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John’s in my BMW.
DirtyKate: : You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
bloodninja: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John’s and make an order
DirtyKate: : Haha! OK
DirtyKate: : Hello! I’d like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
bloodninja: Well, first they would say, “Hello, this is Papa John’s, how may I help you”, then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that’s an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
DirtyKate: : I want everything, baby!
bloodninja: Is this a delivery?
DirtyKate: : Umm…Yes
DirtyKate: : So you’re bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I’m home alone… and I think I’ll take a shower…
bloodninja: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I’ll drive to your house.
**pause**
DirtyKate: : I’m almost finished with my shower… Hurry up!
bloodninja: You can’t hurry good pizza.
bloodninja: I’m on my way now though
**pause**
DirtyKate: : So you’re at my front door now.
bloodninja: How did you know?
bloodninja: I knock but you can’t hear me cause you’re in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
bloodninja: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I’m as hot as a pizza oven
DirtyKate: : Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I’m all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
bloodninja: So you’re still in the bathroom?
DirtyKate: : Yeah, I’m wrapping a towel around myself.
bloodninja: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstasy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door….
DirtyKate: : What the f**k?
DirtyKate: : You perverted piece of s**t
DirtyKate: : F**k

Parts 1-7 are linked at Part 8, and they’re even funnier (just more X-rated than even I will post here). Parts 7.1 - 7.2 are hysterical!

And no, I’m not looking to find an “adult friend.” :-P