MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy

Bonfire of the Vanities Trailer Park

• Posted by Beth on September 7th, 2005 filed in Blogs, Carnivals, General, White Trash Wednesday    

What do you get when it’s the customary day for BEULAH MAE!!! to post at MVRWC, and it’s also the day for the Bonfire of the Vanities to be hosted at MVRWC? The seventh sign of the Apocalypse? Thankfully, no, but you’re close…

HAAAAYYY YALL’S!!!! BEULAH MAE HEAR FINELY DONE RASSLED THAT THAIR KEYBORED AWAY FROM THAT BITCH MISS BETH!!!!!! HEAR I AM!!!! and dadgummit i keap fergittin the dam cap’s lock so fergive me if i look like im hollerin i aint butt u no that mess happne’s some time’s!!!!

HAHAHAHA at Kevin i git to hostiss the BONFIRE yall’s!!!! and gess waht i done use’d Ol’ Man Dan’s trailor fer the bonnfire cuz he thanks he’’s all to good fer us wensday fokes now cuz he be hangin out with them dumass news peeps and aruban fokes and all ya’ll no?!!!! bet his new firend’s dont even no he even got’s a trailor!!! LOLL!!!!11!!!!!! Lookie! Cmon Cletus, quit yer sorryass bitchin and brang the propane an match’s!!!! Preston u cmon ovor hear to and u kin touch them thangs to!!!!

okeydoekee yall’s lets git that thair blow torch and blow thease dang suckass bloggor’s how bout it yall!!!!

HAHAHA Miss BETH That Bitch is the most suckass bloggor i evor done seen. she even rote the instoruc enstruck farkit the rules fer how to be a suck ass bloggor!!!

OK now Looky hear yall’s!!! Aaron hear is a artist and a riter some time’s butt he also like’s too take pitchers and looky waht he done finded in Nawlins!!! Its so purty how thay done made them bus’s all in a purty patturn like WTF!!!! HAY i thank we otta fix up the trailor park like that!!!!

Norfstar in the People’s Repubic of Seabrook said a hole bunch of blah blah blah butt all he rilly care’s about is Angelina Jolie’s rack so he rote a bunch of shi’ite no won care’s about butt he did put in a pitcher fer yall preverts!!!! LOLL!!! butt everone south of santa claus no’s my rack’s bettor so thair!!!!

HAY!!! hear’s my ex-cuzin-in-law and naybor in the trailor park TWO DAWGS that Mean ol’ Meany an he is so smart!!!! he done figgered out a way 2 git the ol’ lady in the sack!!! i thank this won is the best idear evor!!!! i aint burnin this won i is framin’ it!

This dang gal with The Gray Tie is won of them annonnymiss fokes and i aint no why cuz she wood be funny if she werent no dadgum ROLL TIDE fan cuz i went to AUBRUN an i mite hafta go rassle her ass un till she quit’s talkin bout them dam BAMA team cuz AUBRUN is nr 1!!!!! i bet she prolly live’s in a sooper seekrit trailor park ne-wayz. stuck up and all. figgers miss beth that bitch done got her blogg roll’d all ready. I bet i kin kick her boney lil gray tie ass!!!!!

i aint git this won satire post about Jabbar Gibson this is sposta be about crappy post’s??!!! this won has to be true cuz it said he done got in trouble fer takin a bus and that thair mayer of Nawlins got all mad and all cuz Jabbar aint a union man!!! Dang scab!!!!

HAHAHA Josh at Mulltipple Mentallitey is all piss’d off cuz of dumass commentor’s!!! i aint no waht that’s alla bout cuz everwon love’s BEULAH MAE!!!! butt waht evor. he done toled them dumass trolls a big ol fark you in about a million word’s butt i coulda juest said fark you in 2 words!!!! LOLL!!!! opps did i hurt yer eye’s with that thair word? to bad yall’s bettor get ussed too it round hear!!!

My ol bud Jebediah Murphy’s blogg is Pirate’s Cove butt he aint sendin in no post’s cuz Jebediah is to smart fer bonnfire BUTT that geek pirate aint! he done sent in some silly talk about some dam raido station Air Deadbeat or waht evor that is i onley lissen to CW music. butt it dont mattor cuz ya cant hardly see waht he rote ne-wayz!!!!! LOLL!!!

Elisson i thank must be a french guy cuz i caint unnderstand none o wat hes talkin bout wif religin x-cept he do talk about some peeps wif a job blowin’ the help ’round the trailor. i got’s to git me a job round thair cuz thay got it all figgered out!!!! Yowza!!!

Teh Maryhunter (HAY waht the hell is a mary huntor ne-ways?? LOLL!!) rote a hole messa politickly stuff about 2008 but like so many othor’s i thank he fergit i aint readin that thair reguler politickly stuff!!! May be he want’s to thro Hillary in the Bonfire??? witch is a dam good idear, by the way.

My homey Tommy nead’s to keep strivin fer average cuz he still aint got thair yet. and shi’ite fire if he aint some hi and mitey jet settor hangin out in South America butt i aint no ware Santiago is in the south prolly in texas er some thang. he aint tole me nothin bout texas in thair butt he do tell some thang about he dont no how 2 eat a sandwhich thair!!!!! WTF??? now thisun hear is a bonfire post yall!!!!

Andrew Ian “Buford” Dodge-Truck is growin old disgracefuley with a rockor hevy metol band and he rote about puttin up nu pitchers ana music video on the side of his blogg. and about if u want 2 buy his lether pant’s. hay andrew ill thro my panty’s at ya on stage if u give me them lether pant’s baby!!!!

Technogypsy is talkin bout cookin up a mess wif some baby lamb’s and pig’s but that all sound’s like to much work i like jello and spam and shi’ite on a shingle and some time’s some road kill and beer and thats about it. and othor stuff like i no how 2 make. hes all tryin 2 make up some kinda mixa lamb and pig butt i say why aintya jest breed’em?!!!!!???

I aint even no waht 2 say bout this post cuz it aint blong in the bonfire neather butt he whant’s yalls 2 read it. Johnny at useful fool’s rote about his firend’s time in the nawlins super dome and it is horrorable!!!! butt ya’ll otta read it ne-ways!!!!! johnnie tell ur fool firend he shoulda hung out with ol BEULAH MAE!!! at the Walmart in Nawlins!!!!

OH hail. Hear’s a nother won about that thair hurricane. Kira Zalan wuz bean snarky about them furriners not donatin nothin fer Katrina peeps butt then alla them Moon Bat’s show’d up and stank up tha place!!!!! Butt Kira is a good sport and sed ok ok them furriners did end up sendin hep. butt ware is alla that money i aint seen none in my piggy bank yet!!!!!!! i’m burnin that post not cuz Kira maid a misteak but b-cuz them troll’s need tossin!!!!

LOLL!!! Teh Zero Boss got’s some Coke Zero!!!! I betcha thay name’d it aftor him!!! Butt all he has 2 say is it suxx!!!! I aint sprise’d tho cuz i love me some pepsi like we all drank in the trailors and RC cola yall’s!!!! LOLL Thay shoulda call’d it Coke Zero Boss!!!!! He whant’s it throwed in a volcano butt i gess a bonfire is gonna hafta do fer ya!

Hear’s a good ol boy in Gorgia Mr. WunderKraut. i gess he must be french to butt at least he aint wearin no dumass baray hat. like them frog’s do!!!!. He got’s a pitcher of him and his 2st blogg reador who he met at the park so now he done got hisself 2 blogg reador’s!!!! Yah baby!!!!!!!!

Rite hear Part-Time Pundit hollers at Instapundit fer callin him a looter cuz he delinked Instapundit like a buncha othor peep’s did. Butt its funney cuz Glan Ranolds said MY FIREND basil wuz a link looter not them delinkors!!!! OPPS! Butt that part aint funney cuz basil aint no link lootor he is jest funney and Kool!!!!! so i’m gonna hep u out Part Time Pundit and i’ll burn that post fer ya cuz that hole delinkin thang is kinda imbarissing fer ever won even tho the ACLU do suxx ass!!! plus me an miss beth that bitch dint neven wanna menchin the hole thing never at all. Heh. Indeed.

Now thisun when i look’d at the blogg name i thot i done got spamm’d!!! Free Money Finance, dood, dang, that thair blogg name wont neven pass miss beth that bitch’s or no won’s blog spam black list!!!! but he aint no spammor dont ya’ll worry bout that. he be riting AGIN about how spensive pet’s are cuz thay cost so much money!!!! [butt if'n u jest git u a yard dawg er a feral cat ya'll aint gotta worry to much.] butt he sez he rite’s about it alla time cuz thairs so much thair he like’s collectin. like 165 post’s!!!!

Hear’s anothor of my honey’s in Gorgia hear Lance from Red State Rant he done dug up thisun hear freeky doohickey thang thats gonna make some of them boy’s in jail none to happey when they git out and i hope put alott more in thair when they get thair pecker clamp’d to death!!! coarse if’n ur like me u jest whip out ur nife and chop that all shi’ite off when thay git outta control yo!!!!! then them mofarkers git a lil taste o thair own medicin!!!

Oh lordy lordy lordy, hear we got’s one of the 7 Deadly Sins - suckitude. with Rockstar INXS. this hear Sinner sez he got’s sloth butt i say Rockstar INX’S jest suxx ass dood. i aint watch’d no muzic tallent show’s since american idle kick’d off that scott savol cracker. butt i seen a lil of inxs and wtf it suxx to!!!!! that hole show blong’s in a bonfire fer shore!!!! ne-wayz Sinner if’n u whant some good muzic TV u need to whatch CMT. and not that!!!!

Hear’s moar suckitude with sci-fi talk at American Mind!!!! WTF is with ya’ll bloggors and yer gaddam scifi ne-wayz?!!! i sware that is the WORSTEST stuff evor worster than rockstar INXS!!!! are yall’s a buncha geek’s or druggy’s or waht?!!! I MEAN!!!! American Mind my sweet purty ass. I see a Geek Mind!!!! Go head all yalls flaim away u no im the kool sexey gal an yall’s is geek’s!!!! LOLL!!!

Lastly butt not lost i got’s last weak’s Bonfirin host Don Surber. He coudnt make up his dang mind waht he wuz gonna send in butt im gonna burn bofe of dem cuz 1) i thank his firend is a winy crybaby (but Don aint) and 2) cuz he rote about a cupple of football team’s that i aint care about AND some crazey monkey’s but worser he done screw’d up the dadgum score!!!! LOLL!!!!!!!!!!! SEE YALL’S THATS WAHT A BONFIRE IS FER, YO!!!!

OKEEY DOKEEY YALL’S!!!! Now lemme lite a fire undor yer ass’s. Git yer ass’s ovor to one of them good peeps group’s and GIVEM SOME MONEY like 2 the American Red Cross or Salvation Army or Catholic Charities er SOMETHING!!!! Or jes emty alla that junk outta yer pickup and fill up with thang’s fer them peep’s and take it ovor to them peep’s from that thair hurricaine!!!!! even brokeass no job me BEULAH MAE!!!! is doin her part ya’ll!!!! and fer real all my naybor’s is hurtin’ BAD so please hep ‘em cuz i aint rich and caint do it all!!!!!!

SEE YALL’S NEXT WENSDAY RITE HEAR and prolly u will see MISS BETH that bitch at alla the next bonfire’s witch will be at:

Week 115 (Sept 13) - Part-Time Pundit
Week 116 (Sept 20) - File It Under
Week 117 (Sept 27) - The Zero Boss

LOVE
BEULAH MAE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And don’t fergit alla my kinfoke’s in the trailor park today cuz its WHITE TRASH WENSDAY!!! And mostley they’s blogg’s all blong in the bonfire ne-wayz!!!! LOLL!!!!!! Im outta hear i got’s 2 git my shoppin done at the white trash palace!!!!