I have to post this. I just have to.
- Posted by Beth on June 16th, 2005 filed in Blog Wars, Blogs, Blogs Suck, Blogtards, General, Politics, WTF
I know, I suck at taking breaks. Sue me.
I’ve been sitting on this post for quite some time now, and I’m posting it now, thanks to Kate. She has lifted my aggravation at blogging considerably with this post, where she basically–and rightfully–tells the whiners in the peanut gallery to fark off.
[Kate, I'm glad to see you back too, but you chose your guest-bloggers spectacularly well. Those comment-cranks have NO sense of humor.]
OK. Back to business with this post. You know, I used to think Allah was a pain in the ass when he’d be in other blog comments, talking about how blogging sucks. I’m starting to finally understand, and hereby retract all such previous (unsaid) thoughts.
Here’s my certified bitchy, official Why the Blogosphere Usually Sucks post.
1. It’s full of ill-informed extremists–including “moderates,” who are extreme in their arrogant rhetoric.
2. Asshatted drive-by commenters (see also #1), who think they know bloggers after reading one post.
3. People ON MY SIDE (that is, right of center) who think if you have a potty-mouth, you’re not really a conservative.
4. People on my side who think that if you are actually loyal to your chosen political party, you aren’t ideologically “pure” enough.
5. People on my side who (stupidly) think you’re a closeted lefty if you’re not just like them.
6. Conservatives who have provoked ME, of all people, to think “Gawd, I hate these farkin’ right-wingers.” (See #1.) And to think, people who know me IN REAL LIFE say I’m “just to the right of Attila the Hun.” HA.
7. People who threaten to bolt for the Libertarian/Constitution/whatever party because of a few issues, not being smart enough to remember the old adage: “Divide and Conquer.”
8. Liberals/libertarians who bore the FARK out of me with the asinine belief in the “impending theocracy.” Y’all are either clueless or obnoxious.
9. Liberals/libertarians who think that if you are against the entire principle of court-ordered murder of the disabled, it’s because you’re a flat-earth religious fanatic.
10. Left-wingers. Period.
11. Everyone who invokes the name of Hitler/Marx/socialism/mullahs/the Klan/(name your poison) when making their arguments.
12. One-way trackbacks, and those who don’t bother to read comment/trackback policies posted at blogs. FYI, here’s mine.
[The Commissar has more about one-way trackbacks--let it be known that they are NOT tolerated at most blogs, including mine.]
13. Commenters who think I’m not farkin’ serious when I say I’ll delete comments or trackbacks any farking time I feel like it–it’s my blog, my bandwidth, my money that pays for it.
14. Drive-by commenters who complain about my language: LEAVE if it bothers you that much!
15. Public de-linkings, and other similar traffic-whoring stunts.
16. Bloggers who “quit” and then return soon afterwards. If you’re going to quit, just farkin’ DO it, already. Otherwise, you’re taking a BREAK.
17. Bloggers who quit for any reason other than it takes too much time or the fact that it’s boring, and make a dramatic “I quit” post.
18. Blogs with pop-up ads. Be assured, if you’ve got pop-ups, you’re not on my blogroll–and won’t be. And look–I don’t exactly have the most carefully edited and tended-to blogroll, if you haven’t noticed, but you won’t be in it.
19. People who expect something from me–linkage, writing on a certain issue, whatever–when I’ve never even farkin’ heard of them or seen them here.
20. My blog displays like CRAP. I’m sick and farkin’ tired of the “issues.” And no, I do not need any advice unless I ASK for it. Reload the page, please, if it’s jumbled up.
21. Too many goddamned people who have no sense of humor. I swear, some of y’all need to seriously remove the stick from your ass.
22. Too many bloggers that take themselves and their blogging activity too seriously.
22. Too many horrible spellers and writers. WAY too many. I could write a whole post about the crap I see on some blogs. I’m not talking the occasionally misspelled word; I’m talking about idiocy. If you consistently write “your” when you mean “you’re” or other crap like that, you’re not getting linked, so quit bitching about not being on my blogroll. If your writing skills drive me crazy, I almost certainly won’t be back.
And this is just a start. I’m not even addressing blogs outside this genre, not even leftard political blogs.
I’ll add to this list as more comes to me. And it will.
sadie says:
OH YEAH. This sums things up quite well, Beth. My personal pet peeve is Number 16. It’s always so bloody obvious that the “quitters” inevitably return after a few days of monitoring comments.
Heh.
basil's blog says:
Breakfast: 6/16/2005
Try one of these specials with your breakfast: Of the Mind considers considers if 69 is right for him. Beth tells why the blogosphere sucks. The Minister of Propoganda (Nakedvillany) reviews (finally) Star Wars Episode III. [Spoiler alert] Hyscience looks
Gun-Toting Liberal says:
Beth, I hear ya; especially on #5. I get that same crap all the time on the other spectrum. If I don’t echoe the DNC Talking Points memos and scream about how Bush lied, and the war in Iraq was about the oil; I must be a “closet conservative”. When it gets down to it though, it really is up to the beholder to judge whether we’re conservative, liberal, or whatever; since it’s such a relative thing.
Take Michael Savage, for an example. He is so far to the right that he’s constantly pounding on Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter and President Bush, calling them “liberals” and demonizing them for being so “far to the left” while calling themselves “conservatives”. The left pales in comparison to Michael Savage when it comes to the art of Bush-bashing.
Anyway, you are who you are; one of the bloggosphere’s FEW great bloggers. You are in the crosshairs because of the fact that people just despise others who do what they do, but do it much better. These people obviously dwell in both the liberal AND conservative groups. Don’t let the bastards get to ya :-)
Leanne says:
Baahahaa I had to comment over at SDA, Beth! That is all just too funny.
I hear you on all points. Lemme say what I said to her, cause I think it’s totally appropriate!
I used to (years ago) have the notion that pointing out what was offensive or wrong in the way other people behave/speak/think was an effective way to go about life. I thought I was lending a helping hand! Trying to better the world!
Then I went conservative, were real liberty actually exists. I’m basically just commenting for your entertainment, to tell you RIGHT ON, because it’s your blog, your domain, your bandwidth, and you can do whatever the hell you want with it. If I like it, I’ll read it, if I don’t, I won’t. That’s the joy of FREEDOM, you can do what you wanna do (blog, I’m guessin’) and I can do what I wanna do (click random links in friends blogs, once in a while), and the world stays a happy place right?
As if I’m telling you something you don’t already know. :P
Have fun today!
:mrgreen:
P.S. (just for you) I love your foul language and the pissy nature that you present the stuff that, naturally, pisses you off. That’s why I keep coming back!
Mike says:
Why dont blogges just treat comments like letters to the editor. I have had two letters to the editor rejected in the last month, so what? If you dont like my comment remove it, its your blog. Otherwise ignore what you dont agree with and carry on. Now as I write this I have a grin on my mug :grin:
superhawk says:
If you nailed these to the door of a Church, you’d be considered a second Martin Luther.
Could’na said it better.
brett says:
Thankx for the breath of fresh air
Paul of York says:
Holy Crap!! How am I gonna NOT violate one of these. It’s harder than the Ten Commandments!!
I’ll try to be good.
An American Housewife says:
Her Vast Right Wing Conspiracy
GO READ BETH AT MY VAST RIGHT WING CONSPIRACY! Do it right now!…
Anonymous says:
How about #24
ANYTHING = Bush is evil and trying to destroy the world.
Example:
Statement - I was thinking of getting a bikini wax.
response - Yeah! You better go brazilian so you can help completely rid to planet of the eeeeevil bushi’iteler! (Okay, I threw in a little number eleven for good measure.)…Beth, you rock.
BTW, how long ago did you put the second column in? I know I’ve been by and probably just wasn’t paying attention but it’s a good addition….and I can see everything beautifully.
Jeremy H. Bol says:
Beth, that was an excellent post. I’d like to offer number 24 if I could.
24 When you type a nice, well thought out post, click save/publish and blogger/mt/wp/etc. takes a fat stanky shi’ite on your article and you have to write a new number 24.
Jeremy H. Bol says:
Shi’ite. Nevermind. It put it in as anonymous. Keep on kickin’ ass, babe.
Jo says:
Thank you Beth. You and An American Housewife are my heros. I’ve learned so much from both of you about blogging in general. Sure, do I agree with everything you write? No, but I don’t expect everyone to agree all the time or we’d all be bored to frelling tears.
Thanks for this post — makes me want to keep on trying to be heard and do it right out here in blog land.
Janette says:
:twisted:Woot! You nailed it. I’m using this post and SDA’s post to make a Rules and Regulations policy on my blog. Grrrrr.
William Teach says:
Yowza. This is the kind of opening-a-can-of-woop-ass post that first attracted me to your site, Beth. Keep on keeping on!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Preston Taylor Holmes says:
“I know, I suck at taking breaks. Sue me.”
You got it. Expect a call shortly from my attorney, George Shapiro, Esq.
alsocanadian says:
Those #2’s really piss me off.
You do a satirical post with a title like: “All Canadians to be Converted to Homosexuality”, and the lefties think it’s a News piece. No sense of haha those guys.
Wait a sec…I just realized - I’m doing it to you! Maybe you don’t rock! You may even suck!
I’ll read a few more posts and let you know :wink:
Mad Dog Vinnie says:
Crap, I can edit everybody’s comment’s but Beth’s posts.
YOU GOT OFF LUCKY, HOLMES!!!!!!!!!!!
St.Peter says:
I like your style Beth, you call it like you see it. Good for you!
RightGirl says:
Um, Beth, your blog displays like shi’ite…
Love ya anyway. ;p
RG
Allah says:
Great post, Beth. I’m embarrassed that I’ve become known as the “blogging sucks” guy, since I never really thought it sucked — just that it had fallen into certain ruts which drove me batty over time. I think you did a terrific job of identifying them here.
rusty says:
Beth,
I clicked on your “email me” bar,to send you an email but my email to you keeps coming back, “host unknown”
Any ideas why?
Mad Dog Vinnie says:
Rusty, did you remember to take out the “NOSPAM” in the email address?
Aaron's cc: says:
Number 8… Re an impending theocracy, wouldn’t those liberals/libertarians care to know that most religious Jews aren’t afraid of religious pogroms here in the USA? The vast majority of outward antisemitic expression is among the keffiyehed kampus kommies and the secularist jihad.
Number 16… quitting blogging is like quitting smoking cigarettes (not that I’ve ever been a cigarette smoker).
Come to think about it, when I quit before, I said it was until I found full-time work. I couldn’t wait more than 100 days or so. Living among the liberal loons here in Left Angeles under the shade of the Hollywood sign, like Michael Corleone in Godfather III “They keep pulling me back in.”
If I didn’t vent, I’d go postal.
rusty says:
Thanks, Mad Dog Vinnie,I took out the NOSPAM and re-sent the email. It has not returned so, I guess the lady got my message. Thanks,again.
Jeff G says:
Just to be clear, you don’t think I think that people who don’t agree with me are all closeted lefties, do you?
Beth says:
Jeff - Of course not! I think that only closeted lefties think that you’re a closeted leftie calling others closeted lefties. :wink:
I’m just talking about the Holier Than Thou assholes who flip out about potty mouthed humor, or whatever–like in your case, the idiot at Kate’s, Malachy Joyce, etc.
That kind of jerk loves to tell me I’m not a “real” conservative, whatever that is.
Allah–I hope you aren’t bummed at what I said, it didn’t exactly stop me from listening to ya. :wink:
Rusty–I didn’t get any email from you.
Aaron–Hey, we know why you quit blogging. You aren’t in the #16 group, silly!
RightGirl–Don’t make me hafta kick yer Canadian ass. :razz:
It must be Jeff’s presence here–I actually sort of got a farkin’ Turing word on the auth code - FANS3X. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
An American Housewife says:
It’s Dean’s Fault!!
I am in a much better mood because of Minivan Mom. Play along with us, trust me when I tell you it will make you feel oh so happy! It has brought my moodswing to it’s heights! From Minivan Mom:…
protein wisdom says:
Manifesto
What she said²
Jeff H says:
Uh, which step is this in The Life Cycle” of this blog?
:???:
MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy » Blog Archive » Can I play too? says:
[...] June 16, 2005 Can I play too? I have something to add to Beth’s “Why the Blogosphere Sucks” post [...]
Dadahead says:
Blogs with pop-up ads
There are such things? *shiver*
No excuse for that.
Chad Evans says:
Excellent points, Beth, and good suggestions for a number 27 by a couple of commenters. I’d like to add 28 since 27 and 27 1/2 are already taken.
Blogging is supposed to be fun. That’s why I started and I’m sure that’s why everyone else did. I don’t care personally if my site has one reader of 1 million readers. It ticks me off that some people are so concerned with their traffic and that the only measure of their own personal success is if they have over 5,000 daily readers. In my opinion that changes blogging from being fun to being work. I already bust my ass at my day job and I won’t let me nights turn into work just to recieve inflated numbers.
And Preston, return your voicemail. I want to get in that lawsuit with you. You can have Shapiro but I’ll take the ghost of Jonnie Cochran.
The Boiling Point says:
Why The Blogosphere Sucks
While taking a much needed break from my busy vacation, I was reading some of my regulars and stumbled upon this gem.
Tom says:
If I violate every rule, do I get a prize? Like maybe a t-shirt or something?
Mad Dog Vinnie says:
Jeff, this would be Step 10 on that list.
HundredPercenter says:
Although I agree with your points Beth, including your criticizm of me,the irony about this rant is that its exactly the type of thing that you are frustrated with.
Personally, I quit political news gathering/blogging because of the romper room like atmosphere. Plus. time was a major issue for me.
In short, blogging is not nearly as important as enjoying the fresh air of a spring day or spending time with a loved one.
Beth says:
Uh, no it isn’t the same thing. It’s not even in the same ballpark.
I’m absolutely not “frustrated” with such things–those who know me know that I’m not easily “frustrated” by anything.
Anyway, I don’t see how on earth what I’m bitching about is even remotely ironic.
You may be reading into it your own frustration. There’s no hidden meaning in what I said.
The Politburo Diktat says:
protein wisdom says:
Inoperable Terran » Theses says:
[...] f=”"> June 17, 2005 Theses Martin Luther had 59, was it? Beth only needs 23. Posted by Ian S. in Generalat 8:25 am | [...]
Beck says:
I liked the first few on your list, but then I realized your post was wrong and I couldn’t be troubled to read the whole thing. Instead, I’ll just make some broad generalizations and assume I already know everything I need to about you and your opinions.
Oh, and I’m delinking you because the two devil-looking emoticons convince me that you hate Christians. Either that, or you’re mocking Satanists, which I also can’t abide.
Finally, please change everything about your site layout. Thank you. Bitch.
Rightwingsparkle says:
Well Beth, I think you and Jeff are the hottest farking conservatives around!
*ok, that word was really difficult to write. I hope you appreciate it!!!! *Wink* *wink*
Dummocrats.com says:
Why the Blogosphere Usually Sucks
Why the Blogosphere Usually Sucks
The Ebb & Flow Institute says:
So Let It Be Written
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’…
Howard Dean says:
Your blog sucks ass. That much we can all agree on.
Senator Durbin says:
If I had not told you this was from a blog written by a retired military woman, you’d have thought it was from the Soviet Gulag, or Nazi Germany, or the regime of Pol Pot.
{crack, splat}
Greg Erickson says:
Dear Beth,
Well said!
I often wonder if there are enough like minded people in the world to change it. Thanks for the affirmation.
PS - I don’t agree with everything you said. Just 90%.
Fistful of Fortnights: says:
small dead animals says:
Scriptfox says:
“Those #2’s really piss me off.
You do a satirical post with a title like: “All Canadians to be Converted to Homosexuality”, and the lefties think it’s a News piece. No sense of haha those guys.”
Satire is good for another reason- it helps keep the Barbra Streisand detector in good shape! (And that is needed from ANY side of the political equation.) The old ‘if it sounds too good to be true’ routine works anywhere…
To which you might add “if it sounds too wacky to be true, it probably is… unless, of course, you’re on DU.”
geek empire says:
Lee says:
Beth Will you marry me
Your Buddy
Serfer
protein wisdom says:
Feisty Repartee says:
This Week
There’s a lot going on this week. For various personal reasons, I am going to take care of some business right off the bat. MONDAY: Here is a preview of the this week’s Take Two, Part III for Friday: An…
Crystal Clear says:
The Cotillion Presents Luau at the Links
Aloha! Please allow me
Fistful of Fortnights: I Heart Lurkers. says:
annika's journal says:
Statement Of This Blog’s Purpose
The purpose of this blog is to: 1. Signal to the world that young urban single female conservatives do exist; they are not a myth. 2. Increase awareness and appreciation of good poetry. 3. Make fun of people, especially celebrities….
Anonymous says:
In regard to item #23, those who confuse “your” and “you’re” or “their/there/they’re” need be to sent to G-bay.
Oh wait, that wouldn’t be such bad deal now, would it? :wink:
Crystal Clear says:
Emigre Imagining Unique the gentle says:
MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy » Blog Archive » How to lose a debate: ID vs. Evolution says:
[...] nt I’ve avoided like the plague. No more; I’m fed up with people acting like jackasses about it. I’ll prefa [...]
Smoke Eater says:
Hey Beth, good to see you’re still here and still the same, good old Beth. How’s everything else going these days? (p.s. - you may just want to delete this now, but I lost your e-mail and therefore this was the only way to contact you). Talk to you later.
MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy » Blog Archive » To answer a question says:
[...] ere the “ass” comes in). Occasionally, put up a rant about “things that suck.” Suck up to other blogger [...]
Agent Bedhead » Yeppers. says:
[...] Beth wrote a great posting about why the blogosphere sucks ass. I concur, and would like to add the following: [...]
MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy » Y’know, I don’t know why the hell I even bother. says:
[...] Why the Blogosphere Sucks [...]