MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy

White Trash Wednesday 5

• Posted by Beth on February 16th, 2005 filed in General, White Trash Wednesday    

WELL HAAY YALL!!!!!!!!!!! ::hic::

DAMN! Miss Beth got all tuckerrd out fer writin all that cerieus stuff all damm day ’bout that lil’ gal down in crazyass Floirda where them crackers all live and all! So I have to ::hic:: do all this WORK And all for her now whille she resses up fer a spell!!!!!! Work work work is ALL i do!!!!!!!!

So did yall miss me and all ::hic:: thes last weak while I was out runnin around!!! I sure dint miss yall cause I was havin a grate time with my ole freind from yeares and years ago like 15!!!! years ago ::hic:: coarse that means I was justtt 8 years ole lastt time we got drunkernshi’ite…LOL!!!! shhh dont tell. YOU know I am just 23 years ole and all!!!!!!! ::hic:: :wink: shhhhh!!!!!!!

So looky here!!! wat my ole freind from back in the DAY sennt ::hic:: me for VALENTIMES!!!!!! A reglar ole barload of wine!! Aint that the sweeeeetess thing you ever done seen!? HELL BABY thats the best dadgum presint I ever ever ever done got from no man!!! I think that TOM HUGHESS must be rich and all cuz he got him a truck drivin job an back home he gots him a doubel wide or so he sez but i dont really know cuz he dint show me no pitchers and if he aint got a pitcher o that doubel wide i think he just mite be lyin and all. i bet hes prolly shacked up with 12 kids and a HAG in some old teensy ragged ass trailor if he aint got no pitcher of that doubel wide!!!! TOM HUGHSE U no I is kiddin ya I dont think U lyed wink wink but next time u better brang pitchers or ill know for shore that u dont have no doubel wide and have like 12 kids and a hag and a junkyard dog or five and all!!!!!!!!! HAHAHA!!!!! Oh shi’ite speakin of pitchers I done almost fergot the pitcher of my valentimes presint from my old freind TOM HUGHES. Looky hear baby!!!!! Aint U jus droolin with jellus!!!!

I took me a pitcher of it otu in front of the ABC sotre after we done gone to go pick it out and get it andn all!!!!!!!!! Cause he brang his camara all the way from pennsilvanya pencilvainya dammit PA when he ::hic:: came down here fer his workin trip ana all! So he found me at the trukc stop just hangin out when he rolled into town and what to you know we just picked ::hic:: up ware we left off last time you know and hit the ABC Store for old timse sakes!!!!!!!
So me and ::hic:: TOM HUGHESSS went from to the AB C to the trackter pull thing and I tell you it ::hic:: was a hoot honey!! You shuolda seen them dumass rednecks all over the place!!!!!! Theyre was this one dude we done took pitchers of that I new you wood ::hic:: think was FUNNY!!!

I MEAN!!! Loolky theyer at that thier HEAD AND ALL it looks EGGsactly like a EGG!!!!!!! ::hic:: DAMMMIT these damm hickups are drivin me insain!!!!!!!!!!

But wat was funnyer than mister Humptey Dumpstey was this pack of fools!!!! Well NOT funny but just the damn nasstiest thang you ever done seen ever in my whole entire life and all ::hic:: hold on I hafto hold my breth

I do NOT know what the helll happene dhere but thay had this big ole bus with Californa plates and all thease HIPPYS all dumb and shi’ite all over the palce and all!!!!!!!!! YAY YALL MY HICKUPS IS GONE!!!!!!
NEway I was just sayin and all that these dummass hippys were all stopid actin and all and I coundnt unerstand a damn thing they was sayin so TOM HUGHES had to go and start a scuffel withe them hippy FREEEKS and all and what a damn mess!! That turned out to be! I eneded up havin to call my ex cousin in law to come bail us and Skeeeter and Bubba whose mama is kinda suptid and Preston and Cletus and Weevil out of the slammer AGIN. and so I have to go do some WORK work work for her AGIN to pay her evel ass back fer the bayl. Triflin ho. But. whatever. shi’ite I alsmost fergot to show u them damn hippys. Hear feast yer eye balls on thesse stanky old buggers!!!!!!!!

Dadgum stankin hippys thay are damm lucky thay dint come round my trailor park and all or my kinfolk prolly wooda shot thair dumb longass hairdos clean off thair dirty heads!!!!!!!!! I MEAN!! Looky that thair hippee all up in that thair other hiipys ass smokin that thair stanky wead his “name” the poelice said is DAN REEL or REAL or whatever! like some kinda damm FREEK HIPPY name and all!!! but my firend Skeeter done whoop DANS boney ole ass! That thair is the nasstiest uglyest shi’ite poeple I ever done seeen!!!! I am sorry YALL that I done maid U look at them thair ugly FREEKS!!! and now I think I hafto go and blow chunks and all from that. No not CHUCK, CHUNKS. U know like on the commode and all. NAsty poeple!!!!!

SEE YALL LATER!!!!!!

LOVE + KISSESS!

BEULAH MAE!!!!!!!!