Hi.
What, you want to know more? Why?
OK, here’s a start for now.
I’m 38, and I’m retired (medically) from the USAF. I served from June 85 - December 96, and you can find out more about THAT here and here. And if you plan on tossing out that dumb farking “chickenhawk” line, I suggest you read first.
I’m addicted to Diet Coke.
I need to quit smoking…again. But not yet.
The funniest person I know is my mother.
The most incredible anything on Earth is my daughter, born December 21, 1998. She really is REALLY smart AND beautiful AND loving, and that’s not just mommy bias! I love her more than ANYTHING in the universe, “to infinity and beyond!” (as we always say to each other).
I had cancer, but it’s gone. :-D
I have a serious problem with too much stuff, not enough house.
I hate the outdoors. Bugs and dirt, y’know.
If I were President, I’d be just like W. Take no shi’ite, fear nothing, do what’s RIGHT instead of taking a freaking poll to make decisions.
I really do go crazy about bad grammar and spelling. Always have.
Although I wouldn’t have believed it ten years ago when I didn’t live in Mobile, I know now that I live in the BEST place in the world.
I wish I could be an astronaut. Seriously.
Or a neuropsychologist. Or a neurosurgeon. (But I don’t think I’m up for that much school now.)
I’m lucky enough to be a stay-at-home mom even though I’m divorced! (I’m not rich, I’m just smart with what I’ve got, but I could easily be smarter about it.)
My ex and I actually get along now. Go figure. (Maybe it’s the 1000 miles separating us.)
I LOVE art and music, but I have zero talent in either.
I never, ever, back away from a challenge. Cancer will do that to you.
So don’t fark with me.
I have a weakness for books, shoes, clothes, makeup, and perfume.
I will accept gifts!
It’s better to be a smart-ass than a dumbass.
I know now that I shouldn’t have my opinion on that so obvious to my daughter!
My family (parents & siblings) is crazy, but in a GOOD way.
I swear. A farking lot.
My mama goes crazy because I swear too much and I drink my Diet Cokes out of a can. (It’s not a Southern girl thing to do.)
I get Nigerian spam. Why??? Who signed me up on THAT list?
I have about twenty magazine subscriptions, most of which are never read and occasionally get boxed up and handed off to doctors’ offices.
Doctors’ offices that I haven’t given to ALWAYS have shi’ite for reading material. WHY?
My youngest brother lives in my back yard! (In a studio apartment/mother-in-law suite thing, not IN the yard.) He takes my Diet Cokes and forgets to drag the garbage out to the street for me, for which I’m going to tell my mom and dad on him. Brat. :-P
My youngest brother lives in my back yard, but I still end up paying someone to cut the grass every two weeks.
I have two cats–Lucy is the best cat ever, a Siamese; Sally is a lardass that’s afraid of everything except my daughter, who gets away with anything with that cat.
I wish I had a dog. More specifically, my parents’ Golden Retriever, Luke, the Best Animal on Earth.
I love ice cream, chocolate, and those Valentine conversation hearts.
Fruit is disgusting to me, except for apples.
I like a couple of vegetables. Sometimes.
In other words, I have the worst eating habits you can imagine (my daughter doesn’t though, so don’t go calling the social workers on me).
I really, really, really hate alarm clocks–but for a night owl like me, they’re a necessary EEEEEVIL.
I should be asleep right now as I write this. Oh well, farkit.
What the fark did we do before the internet when it came time for Christmas shopping, anyway? I think I might have been one of the first Amazon.com shoppers. You can thank me if you’ve made money on Amazon or eBay stock.
That’s it for now, because I really DO need to go to sleep. I’ll probably change this 100 times as time goes on,
anyway.
Beth
11/24/04
The Orphan says:
Just stumbled across your bolg this AM. Don’t know where to go with it yet…don’t even know where your are going, but I am marking it for future reading and who knows?…maybe some comment. Welcome aboard …I hope that is not too belated, or forgive me for being so slow. It’s nice to find a local denizen after chasing blogs all over the world. Who’d a thunk it?
From West Mobile……d.
Peakah says:
Good to have a smart beautiful educated woman on our side…
May be a bit o’redundancy in saying educated, and our side. No dumbasses here!
Good to find your blog, looking forward to your future posts…
Hope you come to visit mine when you get a moment.
Peace my sistah from anothah mistah!
Tru says:
Just found your blog. GREAT description about you, sounds like we have a lot in common. Is that really you in that pic? :-) Looking forward to coming back when I can stay longer but it’s going on 0100 and I got 3 little ones who’ll be up bright and early.
chris muir says:
Southern girls DO drink from the can.
At least in Florida.
Peakah says:
I need your help Beth. I have a passion burning deep in my soul for a story that seems to be getting no exposure. Please stop by my site and read “A Marine Accused”
If there is anything you can do to help me expose this story through a reference, link, blog, whatever… I’d appreciate it.
I’m not to proud to beg… My little tiny blog has basically zero readership. If you can help me disseminate this story we’d be helping a real American Hero.
Thanks for any help or exposure you can provide.
A Marine Accused
My best to you and your family (especially your precious princess!)
Joshua McPeak
spacemonkey says:
Southern boys like me, even drink diet coke off the counter after spilling a little, never off the floor though.
PSU GOP says:
Nice boots!.. What do you think about 23 year old guys that can’t graduate from college? :wink: I’m just givin’ ya shi’ite! I seriously like the site though, and certainly appreciate a girl that can curse like you!
Chris says:
I am new to the blogsphere and any chance I get I love to visit other blogs. Your Comments are wonderful, insightful, and made me smile. Real comments on real things. I too have a brother living with me and can’t seem to get him to mow the lawn either….lol.
blue says:
:evil::evil:you sound like rightwingsparkles evil twin.
W. says:
Will definitely add you to my list of blogs to visit. One question: how can I get the Stand with Israel image?
Thanks,
W.
wperales@yahoo.com
http://www.eagleandelephant.blogspot.com
Logan says:
Well, you are lovely, your varmint looks smart as a whip and probably a lil’ bit sassy as well, which is cool. Reminds me of my grand-daughter. Love your blog. One o’ these here days I need to start me one. I hope it’s half as good as yours.
Ex-Air Force regards.
nouille says:
You rock!!!!!!!!!
benning says:
I don’t know what your diet consists of, but it seems to work for you! You are gorgeous! And Talented! And pretty d@mned smart! Yeesh!
What a combo!
I think I’ll go nibble on some M&Ms … yeah, that’s what I’ll do. *sigh*
Murray says:
Informative, but do you have an email address. I’m old and the eyes don;t work as well as they used to. Can’t see it anywhere.
your mother says:
It is time to update this.
Also, your family is not crazy even in a good way.
And I don’t care what anyone says, women who drink from cans and bottles are not ladies (unless they don’t have any other choice and are dehydrated). Also I think
women who smoke in public look trashy. Of course, NOBODY should smoke at all, anytime, anywhere at all.
If anyone disagrees with me, that is their right. I’ll never know because I won’t read this anyway.
Love, Mom (who is definitely NOT crazy )
Beth says:
Hey Mom,
You suck!!!
:razz:
(And I do not walk around smoking in public, thank you. Hmph.)
Cruel Kev says:
I “LOVE” your blog as well as the additude with it. Thank you for your service in the Air Force. My son is presently stationed at Osan Air Force base in South Korea, And I was a Sailor in the Navy. AND I also am addicted to Diet Coke. Keep up the good work.